Chickens don't get much of a mention on here. I did write about how chickens should be on the British List ... based on the fact that there are many chickens living and breeding independently all over the country. But today's their big day ................... here we go ........ The entire basis of this famous and rather obsessive book is this .... The whole film business is basically centred around chickens ! As the author says " Films without chicken scenes deserve to be dismissed as trivial distractions comparable to dance contests or beauty pageants. " And the book proves how true that is , case by case, film by film .... .... until all readers are converted to the truth . ................. sorry about the overlap ............. He encourages all readers/converts to stand up and shout "CLUCK!" when any chicken-based scenes, as described above, appear on screen. Here's a few examples of such scenes from the vast number in the book itself ... these are really full-on examples .... not much subtlety here ..... Here's a famous/notorious "chicken-man" scene. ... and here's a " Piano & Chicken" scene ... this one's " The Bedtime Chicken" ........ and this one is the " Card-table chicken scene" ..... . this one is the "chicken-rider".... By now you must be itching to get your hands on a copy, and get "Film-chickening" for yourselves. You know you can't wait ! From now on, like it or not, you're hooked. All you'll be thinking about is " where's the chicken scene!" And luckily, I managed to find a bit of appropriate music for you ....... [Verse 1]
I bake in haste Eggshell in every cake I make Now what would your grandma say If she saw you cooking that way [Verse 2] Turn the heat way down And open that door 'fore the cakes go brown - Eyed-suzies nod and sway If they see you cooking that way [Verse 3] Now, what did you think it takes to do all this cooking Keep yourself in the house good looking Work to the bone till the bone's gone bare Notin' the growth of a new gray hair [Verse 4] You pull strings in the purse for the things you bought End of the day it seems you ought to negotiate your pay Now what would your grandma say [Chorus] She'd say: Do the things you love And do them well Cause you can't tell when things will go from good to worse Don't live life like it's a curse Include the ones you love Tell them so Make sure they know Try best to keep them in your song Cause no one's here for long [Verse 5] That laundry's dried Pulls the pins off and the line inside The homes until they're gone Now put those Glad Rags on [Verse 6] If your heels dig in Shindig 'em on out with your kith and kin You'd best get out and play That's what your grandma'd say ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You must all be wondering why I haven't told you where those scenes come from. Well, it's very simple .... in my tip of a "study" ( no laughing) I can't find the blasted book. I've delayed putting it on here for a week or so, and I've been looking for it, but with no luck.So I've put it on anyway.I'm still looking though. I've got to face the fact that it might not even be in " the study." Cripes .... where the hell is it then ? If any of you lot out there know where any of those stills came from, you could let me know. Footnote : until I read that book, I was reasonably well-adjusted. My only "film addiction" up till then was waiting for the moment when somebody said the immortal line " Go and get some rest" ... or the equivalent. It always turns up. Without fail. I think I'll go and get some rest myself actually.
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Before we get started, what do you think this is ? Consider it a Christmas Quiz Precursor ... [1.2] Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. [2.0 ] Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. [2.0] Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. [3.0] Bold and unrelenting. [3.0 ] Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Right ... more of that later ... Yesterday was yet another crap day .... up here we've had a whole string of rubbish weather ...days of huge showers and often long periods of drenching rain. Not only has it stuffed my birding endeavours, such as they are, but it's also turned several of my favourite local walks into mudbaths. And not just for now ..once they get that way they don't become passable until April. There's only so much time you can spend looking out of the the kitchen window hoping for an overwintering blackcap/ circuiting goldcrest /flyover fieldfare/ unlikely waxwing. Yes. And its not just birding either ... the Geminid Meteor shower has been going on up there, but needless to say, the skies have been 99% obscured. How can I have got to the age of 814 and STILL never experienced a decent meteor shower ? And I've missed a brilliant and rare opportunity to do a bit of Neptune-spotting. Grrr. There is a glimmer of good news ... I've turned up three more " dream bird" occurrences...... I had a dream featuring a Bearded Tit on the night of 4th February 1994 ... a Jay on 5th February 1994 .... and a Kingfisher on 2nd March 1994. A bit of a run there ! Maybe I was eating something different back then. I shall be adding those startling birds to my very tiny Dream List Database. But now 'tis the shortest day, and the solstice is conveniently happening at the very memorable time of 22:22. And if you, like me, sometimes wish for warmer climes, here's a cautionary list.... [1.2] Sweat Bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm. [1.8] Bullhorn Acacia Ant : A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. someone has fired a staple into your cheek. [2.0 ] Bald-faced Hornet : Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door. [2.0] Yellowjacket : Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W.C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue. [2.0] Honey Bee and European Hornet : Like a matchead that flips off and burns on your skin. [3.0] Red Harvester Ant: Bold and unrelenting.Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail. [3.0 ] Paper Wasp : Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut. [4.0] Tarantula Hawk Wasp. Blinding, fierce and shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath. [4.0+] Bullet Ant. Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like firewalking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel. Yes readers, that is a list, in "intensity-of-pain" order, of the horrible stingy things you can find crawling up your trouser-legs in Panama. Not, like my edited version at the top there, a wine list. Whine list, yes. I know this, because it's in an excellent, entertaining book by Stuart Winter which is full of his birding/travelling experiences, including his description of getting bitten up-trouser by a Bullet Ant. It's called the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. Not his book,obviously, that's called The Birdman Abroad. It's that list up there. He used to have a column in The Sun ... maybe he still does ?? Not that Schmidt person, obviously ... Stuart Winter. Wake up there !! Amazingly, Sting does a version of this too ! Not that list .... though it would be very apt. No. This song wot's coming up... I was tempted to go for it ,what with it being doubly-relevant. But no. REM it is.. I've just been reading an old (Sept 1996) copy of Rare Birds ... (the bi-monthly magazine of the UK400 Club). There's a fascinating thing in there with details of the 1996 Scillonian Pelagic !! Never mind the good stuff they saw .. been there done that, so there .... it was the disastrous weather, which in combination with the Scillonian's famous proclivity for oscillating violently in a tiny breeze caused a awful lot of seasickeness, vomiting, chundering and prostration !! Wooo ! Here's a few chunks ... a rather unfortunate choice of words there ... " boarded the dreaded Scillonian" " without knowledge of what would be in store for them." " headed immediately into force 7 northerly gale !!" "after 35 minutes the the state of some passengers was beginning to give concern " " a large percentage of those on board began to feel "queasy." " made worse by the unsavoury smell of the "chum" and diesel fumes " " large numbers of birders were being seasick on deck" " even more were being ill below" " the sound of crashing cutlery and crockery could be heard from within." " it was going to be a disastrous, if not nightmarish, trip." " moving from one side of the boat to the other sent many birders down the slippery slope of no return." "Even LGRE and Viv Stratton, both veterans of rough pelagic trips, failed to survive and were violently ill." " Likewise, several members of the crew were seasick for the first time...." " those that could rushed to the stern, but many were curtailed as they slithered to and fro on a mixture of wet sick bags and seawater." " some fell headlong on the deck and many simply could not get the energy to raise their heads." " .. it was obvious to many birders the seriousness of the trip when LGRE failed to show any interest when a second Cory's Shearwater passed close by." Eee..... what fun eh ? Ok, so they saw some good stuff. Well, some of them did. And yes, it was indeed "memorable." The nifty thing is, I never get seasick, so I can gloat. OK ... I was crap on the rugby pitch and used to get half killed every games lesson. Mostly by the bloody teachers. Bastards. But I don't get seasick. I've been on really hairy boat trips, some were pelagics,on/in boats tiny and huge, Irish Sea Ferries ... many times. Some of them were appalling ! Back in the day's of my youth, the Troubles were going strong, and the Belfast ferries were packed with soldiers .... the only places to sleep were on the floor. And blimey, did we get some rough rides .... on one particular one, everyone around me was puking all over the place...the smell alone was horrific. When I went into the toilets, all the sinks were full of sick, which was sloshing from side to side merrily and spilling onto the already pre-sicked-on tiles. Lovely !! Ace !! But I was fine. And on one of the "dinky-boat" pelagics into the "Wilson's Triangle" we had a particularly rough time of it .... one couple started to puke up within 10 minutes of us setting out, and they continued to do so whilst lying down on the floor of the boat throughout the trip,missing the Wilson's etc and all the rest.Ho ho. But the brilliant thing was, when we were walking up the quay on our return, I was telling them how unfortunate it was that they were so ill all the time, and they blithely replied that they had been absolutely fine. How odd! Very. But, dear reader, i was indeed absolutely fine. Not that I'm gloating or anything. . ..... so ... what goes with that ... I know ..... simple stuff .... love it ! I think that beetle's a goner ..... oh yes ... but what are those birds ? Back in the mid 19th century "scientists" were very puzzled about where all those microorganisms they were discovering with their lovely new microscopes actually came from. Their main theory was ... they came from the dust ... they called it " spontaneous generation" ... and I suspect that it all stemmed from that biblical idea that we come from the dust and we return to dust. That Bible thingy held scientific progress back something rotten ! Anyhow, take a look at this ... it's from "The Intellectual Observer" way back in good old 1865...... it's all about what Louis Pasteur was up to .. or more accurately, one of his objectors, a certain Victor Meunier, who had got it all wrong .... Old Meunier is claiming that microorganisms DO spontaneously appear .... but Pasteur with his sealed flasks with boiled water in them has shown that they do not produce any life at all. We know who was right !! Meunier's Bible 0 Pasteur 8000 ! They could paint gorgeous pictures back then though ... here's another one from the same publication .... ..... .and here's the venerable volume from which they all came ... If you want to know the most likely way that life got going, there's nothing better than the first two chapters of "The Selfish Gene". Richard Dawkins has had to put up with a right battering, but he explains it all beautifully and clearly. And I strongly suspect he's right ! And now, a real " goosebump" Joanna Newsom song ... "Time as a Symptom" ... try to get used to her ... it's worth it .... Time passed hard
And the task was the hardest thing she'd ever do But she forgot The moment she saw you So it would seem to be true When cruel birth debases, we forget When cruel death debases We believe it erases all the rest that precedes But stand brave, life-liver Bleeding out your days In the river of time Stand brave Time moves both ways In the nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating Joy of life The nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating Joy of life The moment of your greatest joy sustains Not axe nor hammer Tumor, tremor Can take it away, and it remains It remains And it pains me to say, I was wrong Love is not a symptom of time Time is just a symptom of love (And the nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating Joy of life The nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating Joy of life) Hardly seen, hardly felt Deep down where your fight is waiting Down 'till the light in your eyes is fading Joy of life Where I know that you can yield, when it comes down to it Bow like the field when the combs through it Joy of life And every little gust that chances through Will dance in the dust of me and you With joy of life And in our perfect secret-keeping One ear of corn In silent, reaping Joy of life Joy Again, around–a pause, a sound–a song A way a lone a last a loved a long A cave, a grave, a day: arise, ascend (Areion, Rharian, go free and graze Amen) A shore, a tide, unmoored–a sight, abroad A dawn, unmarked, undone, undarked (a god) No time, no flock, no chime, no clock, no end White star, white ship nightjar, transmit, transcend White star, white ship–nightjar, transmit, transcend White star, white ship–nightjar, transmit, transcend White star, white ship–nightjar, transmit, trans Please note .... the number on this drawing of mine has nothing to do with the story ... I just used it because it's a ring on a gull's leg. The Trogs, you remember, are regulars at Grumbling Stumps ... well, they had a bit of a tiff a couple of days ago. Which is quite unusual. They usually get along OK, despite all being very different personalities. If you don't remember who and what they are, have a quick look at their first story wot I bunged on here .... 177-the-trogs-first-adventure.html or maybe the 2nd one ... 259-the-trogs-have-a-strange-adventure.html Here's how it all kicked off..... Ed and Dan were in the Weetabix hide.... the one that's soggy, crumbly and a browny colour. Dan had just had an exciting time reading the ring number on a Herring Gull. Fair enough. V. worthy ! For what it's worth, it was 305305 . Anyway, he showed it to Ed, who's the joker amongst the Trogs. The other Trog members, Mac, Jim and Stan, were just arriving at the time. Ed looked at the number, and said straight away .... "Anyone got a calculator ? There's something a bit magical about that number." He took a bit of paper from his notebook, and wrote something on it. It only took him a couple of seconds. No longer. Dan.. " What are you on about.... magical ? " Ed .... " Well, have you got a calculator on your phone ?" Dan.. " Of course .. here it is ... go on then, what's so smart about it ? " Ed ... " Divide 305305 by 7 " ( Dan divided it by 7 and got the answer) Ed... " Now divide the answer by 11 " ( so he did ..and got the next answer) Ed ..... " Last bit ... divide that answer by 13 " ( so he did , and got the final, rather surprising answer) Dan stared at the result, astonished .... dumbfounded !! Then Ed showed him ... but not the others... what he had written. By now the other four of them were intrigued ! What on earth was going on ? Dan " How the hell did you know about that ? How did you do it ?" Ed ..... " I haven't "done" anything. I just knew what would happen ." Dan ... " Stuff that ! You couldn't possibly know that ." Ed ..... " I certainly DID know that, no problem !!" Dan then punched Ed on the nose ! Ed fell onto the Weetabix-textured flooring with a thud. Mac then punched Dan on the nose. Dan joined Ed on the floor. For some unknown reason, Stan and Jim started scrapping as well... rather odd, because neither of them had a clue what they were arguing about ! Mac got them apart. and helped the others up. He's a big bloke, Mac. Dan, totally pissed off and clearly upset, ran off into the sunset ! They all made friends again the next day, when they had worked out just how Ed could have known what Dan would see on his calculator. So that's OK. Well then dear reader ...what exactly DID Dan see on his calculator ..... ? If you've got it right, you'll know why he was surprised . That's question 1. Question 2 ...... How on earth did Ed know exactly what would happen ? How indeed !! Was it just a shot in the dark ? Question 3 ..... how does "it" work ? Question 4 ... does it matter in which order he does the three divisions ? I suppose that could be the first "puzzle" of the inevitable Xmas quiz. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OK folks .... music time ...... The Magic Numbers .... " Shot in the Dark" Yes, I'm a big-headed old Hector ! [1] Bird identified by sinful gent originally in Humberside port. (7,4) I was doing a crossword a couple of days ago .... doing crosswords is a long tradition in my family. My mum did the Daily Telegraph crossword every day, and she showed me all the various techniques to use, and the key-words that compilers use to guide ( or misguide) the poor struggling solver. My dad, he didn't do them. Yet the strange thing is, he was the educated half of the marriage. But my mum, she hardly had much proper education at all. Her father was always going from job to job. all over the place, and his family went with him. Her schooling was very patchy. In some villages she had to take a penny to school, which paid for the fire in the schoolroom. No penny, no school ! Anyhow, I have preserved this tradition of doing crosswords, and now the Significant Otter can do them too. Thanks, of course, to my expert tuition. And ...who can forget that very strange collection of weird "possible" crossword clues I found in one of my "work diaries" and bunged on here for your amusement/bewilderment ? Who indeed ? 186-some-obscure-bird-related-crossword-clues.html Well.... in that crossword I was doing up there in the first sentence, there was a nice, reasonably gettable bird-related clue. To save you the trouble of whizzling back to the top, here it is again ... [1] Bird identified by sinful gent originally in Humberside port. (7,4) And there and then, I decided I would collect bird-related clues. ... well, the interesting ones anyway. And put them on here. Not things like .. Garden bird with a red breast (5) The Ognimalf is a bird that flies backwards ! (8) Auks ( anag) (4) Certainly not. So, whenever I come across some more, you'll get to have a go at them too. Lucky you ! I've found another one already ! The list proper begins ... [2] Bird's extremely blustery experience after sunset (11) Now here's an odd song .... I like an odd song, me .... WENN ES DUNKEL UND KALT WIRD IN BERLIN SONGTEXT
Ich wäre gerne ein Gummibär Da gibts die die gelben und die roten das sind alles Vollidioten Ich hätte tausende Kollegen Wir müssten uns nicht gross bewegen und würden doch auf grosser Fahrt die Welt bereisen bis sie uns verspeisen und erspart blieb mir das um die Häuser zieh'n Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Trübe ist die Aussicht Trügerisch das Wort Gib mir eine Nachricht ich geb dir einen Korb Da sind viele Erinnerungen drin die kannst du in der Pfeife rauchen Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Wo die Luft am schlimmsten ist ist das Atmen intensiver und das Husten attraktiver als irgend sonst wo auf der Welt und irgendwer hält immer die Glühweintrinkerfahne hoch Da geht am Ende viel daneben so wie überall im Leben Wer nicht mehr stehen kann fällt hin Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Ein Raucher ist der Nebel Ein Penner ist der Tag Ein Loch ist da wo gestern noch der Minigolfplatz lag Da kommt jetzt ein Einkaufszentrum hin Da kannst du dir was Schönes kaufen Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Im Grunewald ist Holzauktion Die brauchen da Folklore wie die Junkies ihre Schore Und wenn die Blaskapelle lärmt sind alle Sorgen weit entfernt Und ob du deine Currywurst mit oder ohne Darm isst Ob reich du, oder arm bist Da guckt kein Schwein genauer hin Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Rot ist Curryketchup Grün ist Steuerbord Trenn die Spreu vom Weizen und wirf den Weizen fort Ich hab noch irgendwo ein warmes Bier zu steh'n Du kannst die Blumen damit giessen Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Betlin Wo dieser Weg zu Ende ist liegt ein Engel auf der Lauer Da wo einst die Mauer die Welt zerteilte wie ein Kamm die Haare scheitelt und auf Dauer wird das wohl zwischen dir und mir sagst du, nichts Richtiges mehr werden Doch im Himmel wie auf Erden kann keiner in die Zukunft seh'n Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Komm zu mir nach Hause auf eine Tasse Tee Ich zeig dir meine Sammlung von Steinen aus der Spree Die sind rund und schwer und glatt und schmutzig grün Die bring'n wir alle noch weinen Wenn es dunkel und kalt wird in Berlin Here's a jolly little list I came across in the paper the other day .... it certainly brings up a few questions ... I can't say I can see much sense to all that. What on earth is the reason for killing robins, blackbirds and wrens ? Fantails? What's that all about ? Here's the whole article .... it's a bit dinky ...but if you want to look at bits closer up you can hold down the CTRL key and whizz the mousewheely thingy round. It works for me. There's all sorts of odd things ..why are Brent Geese the only geese in the "agriculture" section.I mean, there aren't many of them about in comparison to other species. Are house sparrows a real danger to aviation ? I doubt if goosanders are a serious threat to fisheries. I don't often see huge flocks of them darkening our skies. Most of it seems pretty random, and pretty senseless, but I'm sure the Hunting/Shooting/Poisoning brigade have a fine old time. I'm a trifle irked, to say the least. And the real joke is ... the body making all these rules is called " Natural England." Seems to me, as William Brown often said, seems to me that they're acting more like the hunting, shooting,poisoning,fishing, fox-shooting,badger-poisoning and horse-whipping brigade. Apart from that, though, everything's just dandy. After I'd written that, I thought I'd try to find the complete list ... and here it is, thanks to Jason Endfield ... it is not a happy read .... if you have a look at his blog, you'll find a lot more of it .... Natural England have confirmed that they issued licences to shoot at least 40 species of birds between 2015 and 2018. The list of species makes for shocking reading and includes such treasured birds as the Skylark, Blackbird, Great Tit, Red Kite, Moorhen, Mute Swan,Kestrel, Bullfinch, Peregrine Falcon, Golden Plover, Robin and Wren.
I received the grim news as a result of a Freedom Of Information request. Natural England say that these are all 'individual licences' permitting the 'lethal control (shooting)' of the said birds. The list doesn't even include any species listed on the CL12 'Air Safety Class' licence or General Licences GL04, GL05 and GL06, so the actual number of species targeted is likely to be much higher. I'd requested the information as part of my campaign to stop the cull of English Ravens and, in their response to my enquiry, Natural England have also confirmed that permission was granted to allow a total of 60 Ravens to be shot during the same period, 45 having been shot to date. The news that so many of our most treasured species of birds have been shot is appalling and fills me with dismay. I know many of you will feel the same. A significant number of the species for which shooting licences have been granted are classed as endangered and feature on the RSPB Red and Amber lists for birds of conservation concern, several including the Skylark, Curlew and Ringed Plover being in need of the most urgent conservation. While the specific reason for each of the licences being issued is not known, can there be any justification for shooting a Bullfinch? Or a Wren for heaven's sake? Who in their right mind requests permission to shoot a Skylark? And for what possible reason? The world, it seems, has finally gone mad. Here is the full list of species for which shooting licences have been issued:- Brent Goose, Greylag Goose, Black Headed Gull, Herring Gull, Greater Black Backed Gull, Lesser Black Back Gull, Curlew, Oyster Catcher, Buzzard, Raven, Kestrel, Peregrine Falcon, Grey Heron, Red Kite, Stock Dove, House Sparrow, Wren, Black Bird, Great Tit, Finch, Starling, Golden Plover, Cormorant, Goosander, Egyptian Goose, Moorhen, Mallard, Pink Footed Goose, Canada Goose, Wigeon, Mute Swan, Ruddy Duck, Bullfinch, Ringed Plover, Fantailed/White Dove Barnacle Goose, Robin, Coot, Sky Lark, Sparrow *Red List Species Highlighted In Red *Orange List Species Highlighted In Orange Ell, readers, the ater is hooshing down the indow panes, and ill probably turn to sno any second no, and then ice, and darkness, and the end of the orld as e kno it. So, as I do hen everything is aful, and et, and indy, and my ellys are aash with ater, I turn to verse to ash aay my earisome orries...... My favourite bird is the Sallo But it alks so akardly hen on the ing it hizzes through the sky so very seetly ! The axing's very lovely too inter's the time to see one. I love to atch them hen I can On tigs , especially Roan. And hat about the stately Cro ? It's orth a longer look. hite 'tis not, nor yello It's rather like a Rook. The Ol, the ren, the lovely San The illo arbler too ! The Hafinch and the igeon I kno are dear to you. Ay up, ay up on this ee list The Little Sift and illet The to are rare and onderful And our list, they ill fill it ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Once again, ladies and gentlemen, I thank you ! What on earth can I pick for the music on a day like this ? I know .... we'll have that video I made of Datblygu's " Dafydd Iwan yn y Glaw" ...or if you like .." Dafydd Iwan in the rain" ..cripes, that was a horrible day ... but at least it was cynnes ( warm). ..and look ... I got his name wrong and couldn't work out how to change it. I still don't. At least I didn't leave out the "w" ... ho ould do a thing like that ? I've rumbled on about that elusive "UFO" of mine so often, I thought I should tell you all about it. What are we all here for on this Earth but to entertain our neighbours ? But ... I'm sure I'll regret writing about it ... sooner or later. So, there I was, busy birding around Rough Island in N. Ireland, as I sometimes did. Nothing " of note" had been seen, and I had just got back to the car, when I looked up over the (large) extent of water and up there ... a long way up there ... higher than it looks in my drawing up there, about 200 m up maybe.. .... yes, up there, was that thing. It was Up There all right. Rather insolently, absolutely silent as the grave, black as night, it stayed there, completely static. Those edges were sharp as a knife. It was big ... hefty-looking. Beefy. Featureless. Other-Worldly. Like a huge, dark, silent PE teacher in the sky. But not as frightening. " I know what you're all thinking The silly fool's been drinking " ( no, no time for daft poems)(and I don't drink) No ...you're thinking, that's a mirage you old fool. Old, yes. Fool, yes. Mirage, no. I watched it for a good, if odd, 15 minutes or so. With binoculars. Yes. It's hard to keep track of time when you're watching something like that. I've seen loads and loads of mirages, all over the place. And all sorts of optical effects, from common as muck to ultra-rare, including the elusive but beautiful Upper Tangent Arc. Have any of you seen one of those. No ! So there. Not only that, my photograph of it , the UTA that is, got published on the back cover of "Weather", the top UK meteorology mag. Hah !! They're rare, that's the thing. That thing was no mirage .... far too high up, no trace of shimmering or wobbling, like wot mirages do, and conditions were totally wrong for mirage formation. Anyhow, a mirage of what exactly ? Unfortunately, there was nobody else around to see it. Nobody who could tell me it was an experimental aircraft from some secret Air force base , and locals saw it quite often. Nobody to tell me it was a before-its-time drone which some local flew around the area totally silently and the size of several houses. I was on my own with this one. Plus .... Nobody to photograph it. But ...what was even odder about it, was this... why didn't I take a picture ? I always kept an instamatic camera in the car, this was way before mobiles and the like. It was there so I could take pictures of anything interesting, which was exactly what that thing was, whatever it might be. But ... I didn't take a picture of it. I'll say that again. I didn't take a picture of it. I wasn't afraid of it. I was absolutely fascinated. Totally. Wouldn't you be ? Now, please tell me, why the hell didn't I take a bloody picture of the stupid thing. Especially as I had a camera in the car for that very purpose. Or more simply ... why didn't I watch it for longer? Why didn't I get my telescope out of the boot ? As I said, I felt no fear of it. So why did I go ? I don't know. I got in the car, and drove back to where we were staying. Calm as you like. Another odd thing ... for several days I had trouble remembering where I'd seen it. Not the "seeing" of it ... just where I was at the time. That is odd indeed. I did that drawing up there about a week later. I expect I'll come to regret writing about all that.
Almost certainly. I don't even believe in bloody UFOs anyway. I believe people think they see them. But that's a different thing entirely. However, let's not forget. In a Universe infinite in space and time ... Everything that can happen will happen. And it will happen an infinite number of times. Think about it. On the plus side ... ... it might get me lots of new readers. But they'd be Temporary ... like Achilles. Yes, 19 years ago this very day, 14th December 1999, I bought a 2nd-hand pair of Zeiss Dialyt 7 x 42 binoculars , the ones I'm still using today .... and they're absolutely brilliant. They've been overtaken by "Swarovskibins" these days, but I don't care. They've been to Lithuania you know. And back. And France. And back. They've been to Adlestrop and Bryher and Cley and Dartmoor and Eastbourne and Fishguard and Glasgow and Holyhead and Ipswich and Jarrow and King's Lynn (see what I did there ?) and Minsmere and Norwich and Oxford and Plymouth and Queensferry and Ranworth and Scilly and Trawsfynnydd and Ullswater and Vilnius and Walberswick X-eter and Yarmouth and Zennor. I've lent them to loads of unknown people so they can look at Waxwings and Pallid Swifts and Melodious Warblers and Foxes and Ospreys and Red Kites and Jays and Dolphins and Whales and Wilson's Petrels and Bee-Eaters and Puffins and Helicopters and Brocken Spectres, but not that huge UFO because there was nobody else to show it to. ... I wish there had been . I don't mind lending them to people because I'm a big, rough-looking bloke and they know just by the look of me that they won't get more than a yard if they do a runner with it. I've also used them the other way round to examine moths and woodlice and beetles and flowers and ants and hoverflies and my fingernails. There's just one very odd thing. Very odd indeed. I bought them because (a) I had got paid quite a bit for some overtime that I did and [b] My mum had very generously given me a lot of money for my birthday. That's what I thought anyway. I still think it. But ... there's one snag with that fond memory. I only noticed it yesterday. And that is, my mum had actually died well before 14/12/1999. Quite a bit more. Which, I think you'll agree, is a bit odd. Something's wrong somewhere I reckon. There's only 2 possibilities really... [a] My memory is crap [b] The death certificate is wrong. [c] My memory is crap. [d] Something's wrong with the death certificate. [e] Both. Or, in fact, all six of those reasons. My daughter reckons that I probably put all that money away and waited for a suitable pair of binoculars to come up. She might be right. It's the only sensible explanation, except that I'm not the sort to do "that sort of thing." But ... I expect I did. Now ... here's a song and a ½ ... it's been on here before, if I remember right, which is er, yes, un, er, like, er, ly. But it has. Death Cab For Cutie ... Marching Bands of Manhattan .. uplifting or what ? Anthemic I would say. If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan I'd bring it to where you are Making a lake of the East River and Hudson If I could open my mouth Wide enough for a marching band to march out They would make your name sing And bend through allies and bounce off all the buildings I wish we could open our eyes To see in all directions at the same time Oh what a beautiful view If you were never aware of what was around you And it is true what you said That I live like a hermit in my own head But when the sun shines again I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in Sorrow drips into your heart through a pin hole Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound But while you debate half empty and half full It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown Sorrow drips into your heart through a pin hole Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound But while you debate half empty and half full It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown Sorrow drips into your heart through a pin hole Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound But while you debate half empty and half full It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown Sorrow drips into your heart through a pin hole Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound But while you debate half empty and half full It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown Your love is gonna drown Your love is gonna drown Your love is gonna drown Your love is gonna |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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