A yes ... the random walk. Next time you're surveying, say, Hampstead Heath, why not do your very own Random Walk? It would no doubt make a refreshing change from your usual routine and take you to new and unexpected places . What could possibly go wrong !? Here's one, to give you the general idea...... There's lots of ways of generating your Random Walk..... here's the first one ever that got into print, and he* did it by giving the digits 0-7 a "direction" and then using the (endlessly infinite) value for "pi" to generate a series of steps. See below for a " for instance" .... As you will have noticed, such a technique tends to give a very thorough coverage of your survey area, and you would have plenty of variety, rather than the usual, routine, er route. Think of all the new people you might meet .. probably, many many times ! Here's the first dollop* of pi so that you too can use it ... 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273 and it goes on for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever You don't have to do it that way ... you could just have the "directions" on little cards which you shuffle and select at each new bit of your walk ... you could also have cards for various different distances as well. If you are simply going from A to B , you could "do" a simpler version ..... by flipping a coin say every 50 paces, and going right for heads and left for tails ... and you would get something like this ... but you might never get to B ! Here's the results of lots of "walks" like that .... the mathematics of it lead to some mind-boggling and rather unlikely scenarios as well. You will also notice that nobody on any of those walks has so far got to B. And they're not likely to any time soon. I hope they've brought sandwiches. And a tent. And a bottle of pop. If you fancy a try at all that, there's plenty of stuff about its complexities and odd outcomes on'n net .. but now, as a spot of totally unrelated music, here's First Aid Kit * with " Random Rules." * Of course, it was a he !
* The "dollop" is the SI unit of overwhelming loads of digits. ( OLODS) * Probably worth taking one with you on your random survey walk ...
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Don't worry about this bit of Dutch ...... before you know it the usual silly stuff will be arriving ... Roodkeelstrandloper in Lauwersmeer in mei 1987 In de lasste week van mei 1987 bevonden zich in die Lauwersmeer Gr veel steltlopers. Tegenover het Jaap Deensgat lag een stuk ondergelopen grasland waar vaak wat 'klein grut" liep. Vanaf de weg lieten de vogels zich hier van nabij bekijken. Voor Erik van Ommen was dit een ideale plaats om strandlopers te tekenen.Op 29 mei posteerde hij zich om 8:30 bij het plasje, uitgerust met telescoop, schetsboek en potlood. Er liepen c 10 Kleine Strandlopers Calidris minuta, c 20 Temmincks Stranlopers C temminckii, enkele Bonte Strandlopers C alpina en Krombekstrandlopers C ferruginea en 10-tallen Bontbekplevieren Charadrius hiaticula,Kemphanen Philomachus pugnax en Tureluurs Tringa totanus. De reeds aanwezige Rein Hofman attendeerde EvO op een Breedbekstrandloper Limicola falcinellus waarvan er later op de nag nog twee werden gezien. De groep steltlopers veranderde regelmatig van samendtelling doordat er nogal eens vogels opvlogen of invielen. EvO onderbrak het tekenen daarom af en toe om de groep af te speuren. Om 12:30 zag hij een op enn Kleine Strandloper gelijkende vogel met een bruinrode in plaats van witte keel en met grijsachtige in plaats van rossige vleugeldekveren en tertials. EvO dacht dadelijk aan een Roodkeelstrandloper C ruficollis in zomerkleed, hetgeen werd bevestigd aan de hand van Hayman et al (1986) waarvan hij een exemplaar bij zich had. De roodkeelstrandloper vloog af en toe samen met de overige steltlopers op. Het duurde dan meestal enkele minuten voordat de vogels weer waren neergestreken en de Roodkeel opniew in beeld was. Soms verdween hij voor wat langere tijd, eenmal zelfs ruim een half uur. Ten overvloede streek om 14:45 een Steppevorkstaartplevier Glareola nordmanni bij het plasje neer on even te poseren samen met Roodkeel- en Breedbekstrandloper in één kijkerbeeld. Tegen het eind van de middag hadden zich 10-tallen gewaarschuwde vogelaars langs de weg verzameld. Het bleek niet eenvoudig om de Roodkeelstrandloper tussen de andere strandlopers te herkennen. Qua grootte, postuur, verenkleed en gedrag vertoondn veel roodbruin op kop en borst terwijl hun witte keel in sommige houdingen niet goed te zien was. Om de Roodkeel te vinden bleken de grijze vleugeldekveren en tertials van meer nut dan de rode keel. Al voedselzoekend naderde de vogel de weg soms tot 15-20m zodat hij redelijk kon worden gefotografeerd en tot in detail bestudeerd. Om 20:30 vloog hij samen met enkele Kleine Strandlopers op en keerde niet meer terug. Ook de daaropvolgende dagen werd hij niet meer teruggezien. ( Well, that's the original version in an ancient copy of " Dutch Birding." ) So naturally, the keen researcher turns to Google Translate in his/her time of need ! Here we go ... it hasn't done too badly ..... ..especially when you consider all that technical language/languages ! In the last week of May 1987 there were many waders in that Lauwersmeer Gr. Opposite the Jaap Deensgat there was a piece of flooded grassland where often "little groin" ran. From the road the birds were able to see it from close by. For Erik van Ommen this was an ideal place to draw sandpipers. On 29 May he set himself up at 8:30 am at the puddle, equipped with telescope, sketchbook and pencil. There were c 10 Small Sandpipers Calidris minuta, c 20 Temminck Stranlopers C temminckii, a few Pied Sandpipers C alpina and Krombek Sandpipers C ferruginea and 10-count Pied Plover Charadrius hiaticula, Ruff Philomachus pugnax and Tureluurs Tringa totanus. The already present Rein Hofman drew EvO's attention to a Broad-billed Sandpiper Limicola falcinellus, two of which were later seen on the nag. The group of waders regularly changed their count because birds often flew up or fell in. EvO therefore occasionally interrupted the drawing to search the group. At 12:30 he saw a bird similar to a Little Sandpiper with a brown-red instead of white throat and with grayish instead of red-winged coverts and tertials. EvO immediately thought of a Red-throated Sandpiper C ruficollis in summer dress, which was confirmed by Hayman et al (1986) of which he had a copy with him. The red-throated sandpiper flew up occasionally together with the other waders. It usually took a few minutes before the birds had settled down again and the Red-throats were in the picture again. Sometimes he disappeared for a longer period of time, once more than half an hour. Needless to say, at 2:45 pm a Steppe Fork Plover Glareola nordmanni landed on the puddle to pose for a moment together with Red-throated and Broad-billed Sandpiper in one viewer image. By the end of the afternoon, dozens of warned birders had gathered along the road. It turned out not to be easy to recognize the Red-throated Sandpiper among the other Sandpipers. In terms of size, posture, plumage and behavior, many reddish-brown on head and chest, while their white throat was not clearly visible in some positions. To find the Red Throat, the gray wing coverts and tertials proved more useful than the red throat. While searching for food, the bird sometimes approached the road up to 15-20m so that it could reasonably be photographed and studied in detail. At 8:30 pm he flew up with a few Little Sandpipers and never returned. He was not seen again the following days either. But then, to try to get more laughs out of it, it got put through Spanish and Welsh (yo!) ...... before once again dipping into English ... And again, OK, there's quite a sprinkling of wonderful clangers, but it has tried its best ... here we go then ...enjoy ! During the last week of May 1987 there were many mosquitoes in the Lauwersmeer Gr. In front of the Jaap Deensgat was a section of flooded meadow where a "small brook" often ran. From the road, the birds could see it up close. For Erik van Ommen, this was an ideal place to pull laundry. On May 29, he settled at 8:30 am in the dessert, with a telescope, sketchbook and pencil. There were c 10 Little Sandpiper Calidris minuta, c 20 Temminck Stranlopers C temminckii, some Alpine C Pipe Sandpine stones and Krombek Sand ferns C ferruginea and 10 Chorlito Charadrius hiaticula, Ruff Philomachus pugnax and Tureluurs Tringa totanus. Rein Hofman who was already present called EvO's attention toward Limícola falcinellus with a broad beak, two of which were later seen in the lap. The group of waders regularly changed their counts because birds often flew or fell. So EvO sometimes interrupted the drawing to search the group. At 12:30 he saw a Little Sandpiper-like bird with a reddish brown neck instead of white and with gray tertiary and hides instead of red wings. EvO immediately thought of a red dress Sandpiper C ruficollis with a summer dress, confirmed by Hayman et al (1986) of which he had a copy. Sometimes the red neck washer would fly along with the other waders. It usually took a few minutes for the birds to calm down again and the Red Gorges reappeared in the image. Sometimes it disappeared for a longer period of time, once more than half an hour. Needless to say at 2:45 p.m., a plop of Glapella Nordmanni's fork patch landed in the pudding to pose for a moment with Sandpiper with a red neck and a broad beak in a viewer image. By late afternoon, dozens of alert birdwatchers had gathered along the way. Red Sandpiper was not easily identified among other Sandpipers. In terms of size, posture, plumbers and behavior, many were reddish brown in the head and chest, while his white neck was not clearly visible at some sites. To find the Red Neck, gray and tertiary wings were more useful than the red neck. While searching for food, the bird sometimes approached the road up to 15-20 m so that it could be photographed and studied in detail in a reasonable manner. At 8:30 pm he flew with some small Sandpipers and never returned. They did not see him again the following days. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ God only knows what would happen if it got further transitions vie Tagalog, Sanskrit ,Lithuanian and Japanese... and back to English. Maybe you might think it's all silly... but we're only here to entertain our friends .... One of the most loved and enduring rituals in UK life is my world-famous round-up of poems, verses, doggerel and crap that I've put on this seething pile of old rubbish over the last 100 posts. But I'd feel bad if any of you missed one. So, being a twizzle-headed twerp I'm going to do it again .... here they are ... This one's from post 528 ..... Eve Slane had the UK's smallest " list" ,and I wrote a little article about her ...read on ......... After that thing I wrote about Eve Slane, I got a email from a reader (!)( Bill) to tell me that not only did he know her well, but also that she died just a few weeks ago at the age of 72 .... by which time her UK list had gone up to 27 ! It was only 2 posts ago (526) that I wrote about her extraordinary life I thought I had to commemorate her in some way .... so here we go ... So, Farewell then Eve Slane ! A life punctuated by birds. But very few compared to Lee Evans and his ilk. Anyway ... I'm glad you did that modest "twitch" just two doors up even though you dipped out. And now you've dipped out for good. Keith's mum assures me you will "get" that Nuthatch up there. Bill told me you always wanted a stair lift. So I hope you had a stairway to heaven ... (In the style of) E.J. Thribb, 17½ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This very short one is from post 539 .... I had just spotted my first "proper" Carrion Crow in N. Ireland, on the beach at Groomsport ....... The Carrion Crow's now on my Irish List For 40 years it has been sorely missed The ground it stood on I would have keenly kissed Had it not been quite probable that on it 100's of holidaymakers had pissed ! Or maybe worse. Here ends this verse. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ These next two were written the day after Doris Jobson was "elected" to be our new " Prime Sinister" and I was feeling v. duff. Here's the first one ... So! Farewell then ..... Theresa May. You should have been a headmistress at a minor girl's academy in Deepest Dorchester. I'm sure you would have had a rota for the 6th form to replenish the bird feeders. But now we have Doris ! [His real name is not Boris. So I have thought one up myself.] The word PRAT somehow seems inadequate as does he ... in spades. And boy is he busy digging. Let's all hope and pray that it will be his own grave and not ours. ( In the style of E.J.Thribb, 17¼) ( Doris, by the way, is the name of a Sea Slug ... how wonderful !) This next bit is in the "style" of ME ... it's the intro to the song I chose to finish the article .... which was " It's the end of the world as we know it" by REM ... This seemed to be suitable, the right sort of song and totally singable so please sing along if and when our country's going down the pan we know who's the guilty man he's amazingly like that Donald Lump they both could do with a rocket up the rump but people seem to like those heaps of shit but they might find themselves eating it when the money runs out and pound's worth zero ..... maybe they're the modern version of that Emperor Nero. This song ,in the circs, is astonishingly cheerful so while there's time, you should get an earful ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is from post 554 .... it's my "gentle parody" of a famous poem... and it has "questions" at the end like you used to get at school...... I must go down to the sea again, to spot a Skua or Diver, And all I ask is an onshore wind, for that I'd pay a fiver, for a chance of a tick, and the Phalarope's song and the white of a distant wave breaking, with no sign of mist on the briny's face, and the rivals I'll be overtaking ! I must go down to the sea again, for the thrill of the incoming tide And the wild call, and the clear call, of a Gannet on the glide, And all I ask, is an Ivory Gull, its white wings flying, And a close-in Kumlien's gliding by, my first after years of trying ! I must go down to the sea again,for the vagrant skimming by and the Tern's way, and the Shearwater's way, for me alone to spy, And all I ask is a merry yarn about someone who's dipped a mega, and the flung spume, and the blowing spray that's made me such a jammy beggar ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, 'tis question time ..... as promised. Don't try to write on both sides of your paper at once. [a] What's the difference between a "gentle parody" and " taking the piss" ? [b] Which category would you put my effort in ? [a] Cathartic [b] Cynical [c] Cyclical [d Clinical [e] Chronic [f] Caustic [g] Cack [c] What was the "original" ? [d] And who wrote it ? [e] Is mine "better" than his ? [a] Yes [b] Certainly [c] Obviously. [d] No [f] Why ? [g] Why not ? [h] Are you going to "do" something similar ? [i] And then send it to me at [email protected] [j] And if not, why not ? I have to admit. I was rather pleased with that one.... ................. I'm a big-headed old Hector ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ These two are from post 538 I think ..... and the second bit is my brilliant re-working of a Shakespearian sonnet ! Get your cultural hat on .... I thought I ought to venture into verse once more .... let's face it I couldn't get much worse ! So .. a soppy sonnet I will try. If ancient Shakespeare did it Why not I ? ( It's actually turned out a bit dystopian so maybe t'would be suitable for the Guardian ?) ........................................................................................................................ I'm following in Shakespeare's footsteps here with this fair sonnet, filled with birds so dear like the fair gannet, garganey and grouse ( how oft can they be seen circling the house ?) But turn I must to much more pressing themes.. those birds that I keep seeing in my dreams so oft forgotten e'en before I wake. ( Was one of them perhaps a kittiwake ?) I think so ... but mistaken I could be t'was far away, far far across the sea amidst the towering waves and fearsome skies. ( should I have eaten all those ven'son pies ?) These rambling thoughts do so pervade my noddle I think, mayhap, I off this world should toddle. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And this load of limericks etc is from #508 ....... Being at the seaside is a great stimulus for the "poetic muse" that us aesthetes like to think we've got ....and two of them are true... so here's a few wot I wrote in between not seeing any Black-headed Gulls ..... and I'm going to give them all Nifty Titles ! ... SEVEN SERENDIPITOUS SONGS ( fancy title too ) [1] Crypticity There was a young man from Dundee Who thought he had found a Thick-knee, a.k.a the Stone-Curlew which is tricky to view 'cos its plumage is cryptic, you see ! ( or rather, you don't see ) [2] Further Horizons ... A young lady who lived in Bombay Always walked around town with a Jay that sat on her head and occasionally said " I can see so much further this way !" [3] Stanley's Knife There was a young birder called Stanley Who was worried that birding ain't manly. So he wore hob-nailed boots, and sharp-looking suits, and carried a knife ( also Stanley). [4] Alice in Sunderland Alice, who had bought new binoculars first used them to look at some Fulmars but after all that she faced up to the fact there's no more birds that rhyme with her oculars. [5] Crests and Crusts A right bonny bird is the Hoopoe And it only eats dry crusts and cat-poo they're fine and nutritious and really delicious and keep his crest tickety-boo ! [6] Evans Above ! I once spent a hot afternoon with Lee Evans ...both hoping that soon a rare bird would appear but it didn't, and I fear that he'll blame me for it, the loon. [7] The Sense of an Ending..... Lots of bird names begin with a B like the Black-headed gull, as you see but to end with a B that's a true rarity but there's two types of Carib ( not 3). As far as I can find, there's no other bird ending with a B .... surely I must have overlooked something. The bigger question is, are there any Bees which end in with a B ? Now there's a thought. Is there a Jay ending in J ? Is there a sea ending in C .... yes. Is there a Pea ending in P ? Is there a tree ending in T? ..yes. Enough, enough Of this weary stough It's much too tough But clever though. So I'll sit on a bough And watch a cough. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This next one is from post 578 ... having reminisced about past rarities etc, I felt a bit sad that I'm not in the first flush of youth ..... .. that was when I were "young" and "keen" but now I'm just an old has-been my knees no longer fit for purpose my brain more like a 3-ring circus! and no doubt soon I'll be decrepit so now's the time to write about it as a warning to you lot out there getting old, it's just not fair. Don't get married ! Don't have kids ! It puts your birding on the skids !! and do all that birding while you can before it all goes down the pan ! As usual, I thank you for your kind attention ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This rather ridiculous but , I must say, ingenious bit of doggerel appeared on post 580. I did it mainly because it was short, after a whole swathe of long, rambling posts ... The P♥ridge is an easy target one c♥ridge is enough to kill it. especially if it hits the ♥ which is, of course, the ideal p♥. The head's another dodgy p♥ the brain is in there for a st♥ once dead, it's thrown into the c♥ and taken to the superm♥ ! You lure him with a lemon t♥ then with a hefty ♣ you'd clout it and nobody would give a f♥ if you put it in a π and ate it ! You could have a go at Magπs too they perch in πns the whole day through it's quite an ♥ 2 catch 1 I think I'd eat it in a b1 ! In the warmth of hΩ sweet hΩ ....... ... and give a morsel to my garden gnΩ ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This very short poem from post 583 is actually a song ..you'll find out why right now ... the article was all about how you can avoid getting the dastardly Lyme Disease ... you can't miss the song, it's in BRIGHT RED. Basically.. IF YOU ARE WALKING TROUGH TALL VEGETATION, COVER UP ! Lyme Disease is transmitted via ticks,and those ticks lounge around on bracken etc just waiting for some halfwit with bare legs ( and arms too) to stroll past and then they latch onto you, stick in their Lyme Disease Injection Proboscis and you're stuffed. Lyme disease is often poorly detected, and often far too late as well, and you can easily finish up with it for life .... and it can be seriously debilitating. It horryfrys me when I see " nature lovers" and even professional naturalists strolling through bracken ( other tall plants are available) wearing shorts. If you spot "that sort of thing" I encourage you to sing out loud ... " You are thick, and a dick, you're going to get a tick you'll get the deadly Lyme disease, so put some clothes on quick !" ..that's what I always do. I generally run way sharpish for safety reasons. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This one's from post 586 ..... a rather gloomy one too ... We went to put some new flowers on the family grave yesterday. My parents are both buried there, as will I be sooner or later. At my father's burial, a Treecreeper bustled up a nearby elm. Then we wandered around a bit, what with it not actually raining for the first time in many soggy days, and came across this on a tucked-away obscure gravestone ...... I used to watch the birds, those were the days and years. I listened too, and loved the fleeting phrase of lark and linnet, swift and siskin floating in their sky now terribly invisible from where I lie. As you stand here, look up to see the birds for me whilst I, below, await eternity. BUT ........ I have to admit that I wrote it ! It was a while ago, and I re-found it yesterday ... And thought ... I'll make a little story round it. So I did. The stuff about the visit to the graveyard and the Treecreeper and the birds we saw is all true though. I'll tell you what though.... along with the Welsh word Adref = homewards, I wouldn't mind having that verse on my gravestone. I'll see what the Significant Otter thinks. I think it's about £1 per letter though. That could be a bit of an issue ! I'm sorry I've been a devious and mendacious old Hector ! Mind you, it's nothing new. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This one is from post 590 ...... Here's another of those " E.J. Thribb"-style obituaries ..... Except that I wrote it. It also serves as a "follow-on" to the theme of my previous post. So ! Farewell then Peter Fonda. Kevin's mum has always had a soft spot for him. Unfortunately unreciprocated. She saw Easy Rider I don't know how many times. And so did Kevin. Personally I thought it was a lost opportunity..... All those birds to see. But they just whooshed by regardless in both senses of the word. Listless in both senses of the word as well. Nevertheless I wish him well in the afterlife. But I suspect that there are no motorbikes in heaven. Assuming that maybe possibly perhaps .... that's where he will hang up his helmet for the last and final time. ( Not by E.J.Thribb, but respecting his notional age of 17¼) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Just for a change, here's a dinky "verse" ..... all about a " bird of the day" ...as you'll see in the blurb that goes with it ....
Yesterday's " bird of the day" was a Swift. I saw several yesterday, but one particular one stood out from the rest. That's the thing ... circumstances often make tiny things more memorable. We ( the Significant Otter and me) went up to Lancaster to visit my sister and some of her menagerie, and then us two went up to Wiggly Park, which is our name for Williamson Park, the one whose massive memorial is visible from the M6 as you whoosh by, poking out of the park's numerous trees. We call it that because loads of people get lost what with the maze-like twisty paths and the almost total lack of intervisibiity due to the trees I mentioned earlier. Anyway, we sat on a bench which overlooks the city and I scanned the apparently empty vista spread out below us ..... and then, a Swift loomed into the view. It was really, really high up and really really far away, ploughing its solitary way southwards over Lancaster. Lowering the bins, I couldn't even see it with the naked eye. That made it even more mysterious and noteworthy. So that was the Bird of the Day. because it was Far Away and extremely Altitudinous which increased its Interestingness. I hope you "do" your own "bird of the day." Even if it's sometimes a stoat. Or a Brown Argus. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This one's from post 592 ... Surely, all poems/verses/doggerel should try to be educational/useful in some way. Even being silly is "useful" if it cheers people up for a little while. This one, I hope, does a little bit of all of that...... Troglodytes troglodytes never climbs to the tops of trees it doesn't like to be up high like Polysticta stelleri whilst Ardea cinerea likes to catch a fish for dinner. However, Merops superciliosus, eats bees without the slightest fuss. (Your Charadrius hiaticula likes an over-ripe cucumber.) Streptopelia decaocto flew in from Europe years ago and Hippolais polyglotta makes its nest from terra-cotta. Oriolus oriolus makes hers in an omnibus. (Anas discors, rather neatly uses an old Woman's Weekly.) The wily Larus philadelphia lives a life that's so much healthier eating lots of Otis tarda which she keeps in a fancy larder also stocked with Cinclus cinclus (and Grus's "antigone" and "grus" which some think is ridiculous.) Crex crex is rather keen on seaweed unlike Carduelis chloris it prefers a bowl of linseed and, perhaps, a boiled Doris (which is a sea-slug, rather colourful and like Upupa epops, wonderful.) Your average Zonotrichia is a lifelong nosy parker (like Tringa nebularia but darker.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So .... that's another lot "archived" for "ever". I was reading AND listening to Radio 4 at the same time, and at 12:04 there was a story called "The Offing" which I was ½ taking in ..... it seemed to be set in a North-East Tyneside-ish place, and this bloke was trying to get to sleep in his tiny tent ..... when out of nowhere, a Nightingale started singing ... and carried on singing. Then, just to add to the incongruity quotient a blasted Nightjar started churring as well ! This went on for a bit, and then, even more oddly, the "man in the tent " announced that he could hear an owl calling, which there certainly wasn't. How fascinating, and not in the least surprising going by the track record of those "sound effect providers." And, if you're reading this today, 28 Aug 2019, you can listen to it yourselves as there is a repeat at 10:45 pm. And what's more, there's two more episodes over the next two days, at the same times .. 12:04 pm and 22:45 pm ..and you never know, they might bog up some more sound effects ... I'm going to try to collect the set. And now, music ..... relevant, because it has "dark" in the title, and on top of that , it's the first DCFC song I ever heard, on the car radio. I stopped the car ! What about that ! It's got horns, a nostril and an eye, a scaly skin, a nosy nose and even a hint of a mouth. And at the rear end, it's either constipated or pregnant. Luckily it was rather torpid so I escaped unscathed..... Moving on to other topics ... you probably know about this next bit already.....but there's a further development ... As any fule no, if you move the letters of RSPB two places up the alphabet ( R becomes T via S etc) you get a surprise. I'm inordinately proud of having discovered, or perhaps "uncovered" that wonderfully incongruous thing. This gripping link sends you directly to the moment of my historic discovery .. 256-birding-the-silly-side.html and this has even more of my recent revelations ... 295-the-rspb-turd-phenomenon-further-news.html And I take every opportunity to tell other people about them. But here's the thing ... I'm still waiting ..and waiting ..... [a] ..... for someone to tell that RSPB joke back to me. The whole idea of it going "full circle" through a whole maybe colossal chain of unknown faraway people is fascinating. I'm sure they would be pleased to meet its creator . ( Me). [b] ..... to hear it on the radio or the TV. This has happened to me before ..... ages ago I created an excellent and clever joke and about three weeks later someone used it on the tele. They used exactly the same wording that I used .... word perfect. I was remarkably pleased. The Significant Otter reminded me that many years ago in the US some researchers spread various "fake rumours" around the campus, and then contacted other academics throughout the USA to tell them if they had heard any of them and when. And it worked .... graphs were drawn, deeply theoretical models of "rumour transmission" were created, " rumour-spreading-maps" were plotted and a whole new branch of sociological research was created .... I suppose these days it would be swallowed up into "media studies." Plus .... the world of birding/twitching is also awash with rumours of various levels of accuracy ... and probably jokes as well. What goes around, comes around. So ... I'm still waiting. And now ... Graham Parker and the Rumour .... "Passion is no ordinary word" I'm sure you're all aware of my interest in the local Common Gull numbers. I mean, who wouldn't be ? Seriously ! But normally, I can relax through the summer months and most of Autumn too, until they arrive on a local low-tide river and I feel strangely compelled to count them. BUT ... yesterday I went down there, and counted the 280 -or-so-Gulls .... and, blimey and crumbs, there were two (2) Common Gulls in with them. Normally they don't even turn up at all until much later .... and then even in only small numbers. They don't get going properly until November. I had to lie down on a handy, if rather dilapidated " bench" for a few minutes to calm down. Waking up 47¾ minutes later, I went over the bridge and they were still there. I was going to photograph them as part of my fieldwork for my upcoming new edition of "Birds from Above" which is aimed fairly and squarely at the new legion of birders who "do it" using a drone so that they can stay in the comfort of their own home. But the blasted gulls all flew off downriver having spotted a couple of old gaffers feeding the birds. Such are the vicissitudes of northly-agony.. argoth-only goner-oathily ortho-ligny ornio-thogly ornithology .... at blasted last. As you've probably realised, some of that is true, and some not. After all, nothing has to be true ..... Here's what the writer of that book I wrote about last time has to say about his progress towards being a reasonably skilled birder ... he makes his point very well with a telling analogy ........ You're probably aware of a TV programme on Channel 4 called Faking It. Even Duncton's heard of it, and he only really watches programmes featuring David Attenborough or Tottenham. If you haven't, it's like a shortened version of my "Big Year". As the pithy pitch on the show's website explains, " Our faker is plucked from their natural habitat and given four weeks to master a skill well enough to fool a group of expert judges." So in just a month a chess player must become a football manager, a management consultant has to master dog training , and a choir girl is asked to morph into a rock chick. It's good TV. But I don't think Channel 4 could ever do a Faking It on bird-watching.There's too much to learn. Even after my first ten weeks of birding , there was absolutely no way I could have persuaded some genuine bird experts that I knew what I was doing. There are too many nuances, too many calls, too many brown, speckled birds. A Faking It on birdwatching would be like doing a Faking It on Being a Mouse. It would be that pointless.You'd have four weeks of training on How to Walk Like a Mouse, How to Squeak Correctly and Which Cheese to Eat. Then the day of the test would arrive and you'd have to line up next to three actual mice and the judges would take one look at the line-up, point at you and say , " Well, he's not a mouse, clearly, he's far too big." After ten weeks I was nowhere near to being a mouse. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I think he's dead right there. There's so much to learn, and most of it has to be learned the hard way, making drastic and embarrassing mistakes, getting totally shown up by your ignorance, often creeping home and hiding under the bed for 5 weeks.... that sort of thing. And remember .. most of the "General Public" thing that bird watching is for drips, dopes and softies ! I don't think so. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So ..what music goes with that ? I suppose all you can do is look on the bright side ...... The other day I was at the Stupor-Parkit and in the Parkit-a-Lot was The Mobile Library ! That harbly ever happens, harply ever actually,so I did the citizenly thing and got a couple of books. They didn't, wrth gwrs *, have any Welsh books, and only one crap French book which told me I could learn it in three months, very bloody likely, so I went to the "nature" shelf. There were two bird books ... David Lindo's "The Urban Birder" and this ..... .. and here, in a nutshell, or rather, on the back, was this ... I liked the look of that, and the quirky drawings inside, so I took it out, + the Lindotome, secure in the knowledge that The Mobile Library* might just survive because my two books might just tip the numbers over the threshold of survival. Here's one of the drawings ...... a totally accurate depiction of the young Alex... ..but what that "thing" on the far left is, I've no idea. A young Jeremy Corbyn ? It also features extensive and interesting footnotes* as all good books should. I recommend it, especially as he starts his birdwatching " career" from a base of almost unbelievable ignorance, which is a great boost to the readers's ego. Another recommendation is that people like The Flat Controller* and The King of Bryher * would totally totally hate it. That's good enough for me !!! And .... unforeseen events allowing ... I'm going to write a bit more about it, perhaps as soon as next time ... but for now, the inevitable choice of song ..when you consider that throughout the whole book he refers to his dad as " Duncton." You'll find out why if/when you read it. On with the music, bird-lovers ! And this is a brilliant and unusual version of a brilliant and unusual song ... Here's another of those drawings from the book ... * I've never understood why they put footnotes at the bottom of the page ...surely they'd be much more noticeable up at the top. But hey, what do I know ?
* A miniature library in a dinky van that goes from one little neglected dump to another all day long ..a valued service which will, of course, soon be stopped due to fiscal decrepitude. Whenever you see one, take out as many books as they will let you. * An enemy ! * A deadly dastardly arch-enemy !! * Wrth gwrs is the ridiculous Welsh version of " of course".* * Wrth gwrs ! I was looking in this antique shop window and sure enough, the chess set in the window was set up the wrong way round. You would think that ,just by chance, they should get it right half of the time ..but no ! Anyhow, next to it was a framed picture .... that one up there. It was labelled as a "Hoopoe." I don't think so ! I've seen quite a few Hoopoes, and they were nothing like that up there. I looked in my massive book of World Birds to see if there were "other" sorts of Hoopoes .... and no, there's only 1..... BUT ... there are 8 species of "Wood-Hoopoes" There's Black, White-headed, Forest, Scimitar-Bill, Violet, Grant's. Abyssinian-Bill and Green. So naturally, I looked them up..... and a right mess they are .... many of the latin names don't seem to be the ones they are supposed to have, and they seem to be rather variably named .... but none of them look much like that "thing" up there. Here's what I found ... Black-billed Forest Grant's Green Scimitar-Bill Violet White-headed They've got a few things in common .... long tail, tree-living, curved bill ..but that's about it.
Personally, I think that bird is an invention dreamed up by the person who painted it. However, if any of you out there have any idea what it is, I would like to know. [email protected] or, of course, as a comment. ( By the way, this all happened a week or so ago ) ( I've been wondering if I should put it on here. ) (It's not funny, nor are there any daft poems in it.) You're gazing at the garden .... and you decide to note down the number of different bird species you see each minute. Well, I did that very thing yesterday for 84 minutes .... Crumbs ... you're thinking. But I did it over 6 sessions of 14 minutes each, whenever I had a bit of spare time. That way I didn't get bored. Or tired. Nor did I fall asleep. There were 29 minutes when I saw no birds at all and 33 minutes when I saw only 1 species and 13 minutes when I saw 2 species and 7 minutes when I saw a massive 3 species and 2 minutes when I saw an incredible 4 species and also 2 minutes when I saw ... crumbs ... 5 species Let's make a nifty table of it shall we .. Number of species seen 0 1 2 3 4 5 How many times 29 33 13 7 2 2 = 86 minutes Sp. sightings . 0 33 26 21 8 10 = 98 "species-sightings" Mean number of species /minute = 98/86 = 1.14 If we plot this out, it doesn't look like a Normal Curve at all. It's far too lop-sided for a start. ..... and then, I did a bit of mathematical magic ..... which I used to "predict" what the results "should" look like .... here is the prediction, plotted in red on the same graph........ I hope you are all impressed. Pretty close to the "real" results. Coo ! The prediction for "2" is a bit out, but overall ...pretty good. The "real" and "predicted" plots keep pretty close together. It's a cracking example of the power of the Poisson Distribution. And all you need to work it out is ..... something we've already got ... The Mean number of species /minute = 98/86 = 1.14 I worked out those " predictions" from that ! It hardly seems possible .... but there it is. How exciting is that ? I'm happy to show you how it's done ..... But I have an odd feeling that my readers might not be interested . In fact, they might run into the hills and never return. And I don't want that. There's very few of you as it is. Hey ..you could look up how it's done yourselves. (But don't, whatever you do, look at the videos about it.) They are all specially designed to confuse and confound your entire being. But I can explain it properly. Then you can do it too. Tell you what ..... you can tell me if you "want" it in the comment thingy. And ... if I get a "yes" majority I'll do it. And if I get a "no" majority I'll file it away under " No, no, and thrice no !" Oh ..I did do some "proper" birding as well. In the pm I spotted a fly-by Med Gull .... v. nice. And at breakfast time there was a Juvenile Jay on the picnic table. Isn't that the name of one of those " rappers" ?? And I saw 16 swifts ... after seeing none at all for 5 days. And there was a grasshopper on our front wall in the sunshine. And.... at night, there was a male Tawny Owl hooting away... ..and even better, TWO Little Owls wow-ing like mad. "Littles" have become v. scarce in my little 3K patch ... and beyond. So I was unduly chuffed. And duly chuffed too. How can that be ? Instead of the music, we're going to have a video about " The Best Equation" and despite what you might think, it's funny, entertaining and true. And what's more, one of those people has been to my house. And not just to read the gas meter. Oh, go on then, we'll have some music as well ... So ..get voting or lose out on a lifetime opportunity .
Maybe that's a slight exaggeration. That prediction was pretty neat though .... you've got to admit it . I delayed putting this on here in case all of my readers ran off into the long grass ! And if they do, I hope they've read my warnings about Lyme disease . 583-the-hazards-of-birding-lyme-disease.html |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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