Before we get started, what do you think this is ? Consider it a Christmas Quiz Precursor ... [1.2] Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. [2.0 ] Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. [2.0] Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. [3.0] Bold and unrelenting. [3.0 ] Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Right ... more of that later ... Yesterday was yet another crap day .... up here we've had a whole string of rubbish weather ...days of huge showers and often long periods of drenching rain. Not only has it stuffed my birding endeavours, such as they are, but it's also turned several of my favourite local walks into mudbaths. And not just for now ..once they get that way they don't become passable until April. There's only so much time you can spend looking out of the the kitchen window hoping for an overwintering blackcap/ circuiting goldcrest /flyover fieldfare/ unlikely waxwing. Yes. And its not just birding either ... the Geminid Meteor shower has been going on up there, but needless to say, the skies have been 99% obscured. How can I have got to the age of 814 and STILL never experienced a decent meteor shower ? And I've missed a brilliant and rare opportunity to do a bit of Neptune-spotting. Grrr. There is a glimmer of good news ... I've turned up three more " dream bird" occurrences...... I had a dream featuring a Bearded Tit on the night of 4th February 1994 ... a Jay on 5th February 1994 .... and a Kingfisher on 2nd March 1994. A bit of a run there ! Maybe I was eating something different back then. I shall be adding those startling birds to my very tiny Dream List Database. But now 'tis the shortest day, and the solstice is conveniently happening at the very memorable time of 22:22. And if you, like me, sometimes wish for warmer climes, here's a cautionary list.... [1.2] Sweat Bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm. [1.8] Bullhorn Acacia Ant : A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. someone has fired a staple into your cheek. [2.0 ] Bald-faced Hornet : Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door. [2.0] Yellowjacket : Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W.C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue. [2.0] Honey Bee and European Hornet : Like a matchead that flips off and burns on your skin. [3.0] Red Harvester Ant: Bold and unrelenting.Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail. [3.0 ] Paper Wasp : Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut. [4.0] Tarantula Hawk Wasp. Blinding, fierce and shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath. [4.0+] Bullet Ant. Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like firewalking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel. Yes readers, that is a list, in "intensity-of-pain" order, of the horrible stingy things you can find crawling up your trouser-legs in Panama. Not, like my edited version at the top there, a wine list. Whine list, yes. I know this, because it's in an excellent, entertaining book by Stuart Winter which is full of his birding/travelling experiences, including his description of getting bitten up-trouser by a Bullet Ant. It's called the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. Not his book,obviously, that's called The Birdman Abroad. It's that list up there. He used to have a column in The Sun ... maybe he still does ?? Not that Schmidt person, obviously ... Stuart Winter. Wake up there !! Amazingly, Sting does a version of this too ! Not that list .... though it would be very apt. No. This song wot's coming up... I was tempted to go for it ,what with it being doubly-relevant. But no. REM it is..
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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