Or is it ? A little while ago I was writing about that Severe Benson character, the one who wrote The Observer's Book of Birds .... the key thing being, is/was he/she a he or a she ? Not that it matters. But here's a ridiculous fact that I also discovered whilst leafing through its dinky pages ..... I've seen every bird in that book . Except .... the last two...... .......... now that's a mighty odd coincidence don't you think ? ........... was she taking the mick ? ........ they are in a strange order, come to think of it. and , it's a dreadful admission .... or is it ? The thing is, I could get them if I wanted to .... it would just be a matter of getting in the car, driving there, and finding them. It might take a day or two .... but there they are, waiting for me to tick them. No hurry. They're what I call "petrol-birds." We went up there on holiday once. But what with pesky twins, lack of time, and "real life", I only had a tiny minuscule little window of birding time in the key area, enough to "get" Crested Tit and Scottish Crossbill, at which point my time was up. And now, it seems a bit pathetic to slog all the way up there again. As if I'm not knackered enough already ! Hey ... I could get those now grown-up twins to hire me a car and a chauffeur to whisk me up there, to make up for them ruining my first visit by being tiny, noisy, messy, unpredictable twins. Yes ... and there were two of them. Two !! Bah ! And now, some remarkably apt music ...... I bet you're wondering what that thing is at the top ..
A MAGIC PRALINE PARTICLE. Well, if you haven't managed to work it out ,the answer is on the end of this magic link .... it will send you back about a year to post 97 ...... 97-another-way-to-cheat-in-bird-surveys.html
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After so many years of living in the same house, you don't tend to get many garden firsts. But yesterday we did. We've had Gt. Spots around the house on and off over the years, some as obvious residents, but never so far a juvenile. I was just remarking on this yesterday morning when the male of our current pair was drinking from the highly valuable "bird bath" on its no doubt venerable antique plinth when suddenly ... ..... a juvenile Gt. Spot flew in and landed by its side.. woo ! And talking of Jackdaws, which I wasn't, we generally get about 30 or so arriving each morning, and leaving in the evening. But a few days ago, as dusk was dusking, about 120 of the medium-sized blighters could be seen circling and recircling repeatedly over the street . This continued for about 40 minutes to a greater ( or lesser) extent until the whole lot landed en masse into a dead tree and stayed there. I assume that this was a prequel to going to a more sheltered tree once we weren't looking. So that was all v. interesting. In the distant past, we used to get a WOJAR over the house. I think I've written about it .... maybe. Anyhow, it was a massive Wave Of Jackdaws And Rooks. Often several thousands of them. They would whoosh over us just post-dawn in a Northerly direction ... ... and continue to who-knows-where. But they dwindled and dwindled ..... why ? did they go somewhere else ? And anyway, there's hardly any rooks at all at all round here now. Well, it keeps us local birders busy I suppose. We'd be a bit stuffed if nothing ever changed..... These "clues" all lead to a UK bird ..... [a] When the cat gets up (9) [b] Could mean a death sentence (8) [c] Small move left or right ( 6,4) [d] Eating action ( 7) [e] Black and white dog shows pleasure (4,7) [f] Call 15 21 26 05 12 ( 4,5) [g] Crimson bird, but surprisingly no strings (3,4) [h] A bit of fun in the air (7) [i] Angry Clinton or Gates (9) [j] Timber rooster (8) [k] Polish part of the car (7) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .... if you didn't work them out, don't let it bring you down it's only castles burning ... ...what about that open tuning ? Pretty smart ..... now, the only decent words video for that was sung by Annie Lennox ..but that's OK ... [1] The French often use << and >> as speech marks .... and they call them << guillemots >> for obvious reasons ..and in case it ISN'T obvious, study this picture carefully ... I know what you're thinking ... ... yes, it's a Razorbill... .. The French call the Guillemot Guillemot de Troïl* ..and the Razorbill Petit pingouin. .... so, logically, they should call their speech-marks << pingouins">> But they don't. Right then .... another highly interesting fact about Guillemots is a long-held but gormless theory about why their eggs are that shape ( see below) which is a complete load of old tripe ..... have a watch of this at 3m 10s ....... The 3rd grippo fact is that there is a band called Guillemots ... I would like to reassure you that, in fact, ALL love songs are " made up" .... and all the other sorts of song as well. Even the ones I've written were made up ...by me ! On with the music .... .. and ...there are several songs ABOUT Guillemots .. of which this is the best .... If you, dear readers, have any more interesting facts about Guillemots, I suggest you keep them to yourselves.I thank you. * I can't find the word "troïl" even in the Woppingest of my many French dictionaries .... nor anything like it. Is that an interesting fact ? Maybe ït's a mïsprïnt . Nope ... wïkïpeïdïa has ït as troïl as well. It's not a place-name either .. I've checked in my Big Road Atlas of France. So there. Hang on ... maybe troïl is some non-French word. Bah. All thïs toïl and trouble for nowt. ! cisum eht nevE tfiwS wollawS gnilratS tit eulB tit taerG llug GnirreH worraps esuoH wadkcaJ rekcepdoow dettops taerG nitram esuoH evod deralloC tit deliat gnoL niboR ! ti fo 01 setunim tsrif eht , lleW ......tsil s'yadoT ? taht htiw og lliw cisum tahW ! sihT Here's a "leaked" STQC exam paper .... nowadays you can't just let any old riff-raff into this top organisation you know....and this will sort the Wheatear from the Chiffchaff, and no mistake ! The good news is, you only have to answer 5 of the 8 questions .... you choose ! [a] Describe three ways in which bird-watching is similar to trainspotting, and three ways in which it isn't. [b] Birds have "scientific names" as you no doubt know. Match up the first bit with the correct second bit .... Puffinus crex Crex vanellus Perdix troglodytes Troglodytes puffinus Vanellus perdix [c] My favourite bird is the .................................... [d] Here's some jumbled-up bird names.... please put them right ... [1 ] tonK ....................... [2] Wern ...................... [3] otCo ...................... [4] okoR ..................... [5] worC ..................... [e] Which one of these is top birder S. Vere Benson's nickname ? [a] Droopy-drawers [b] Fat-arse [c] Severe Benson [d] Donkey-face [e] Grumpy-guts [f] Here's 5 of the famous " Scilly Isles" ...which one has the fewest letters .. [a] Bryher [b] St. Martins [c] St. Agnes [d] Tresco [e] Gugh [g] Here's a list of several different types of bird- spotter. Which one is the best ? † Twitcher Bird-spotter Birder Dude Ornithologist Bird-watcher [h] If you move all the letters of STQC down 1 place in the alphabet, what do you get ? Now try moving the letters of STQC up one place. Write down your answers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, I hope you've made wise choices to ensure your entry into the UK's best bird-lover's , er, society. But don't worry too much, because everybody passes the exam anyway. We need those subscriptions to keep pouring in. That way, we can carry on with all our good works, such as giving work experience to hordes of remarkablyattractive,young, female interns and clapped-out old gaffers well past their sell-by date, not to mention safeguarding the "careers" of hundreds and hundreds of people who spend their whole time at their "terminals" persuading more people to buy over-priced peanut feeders. .. this, by the way, is the society's new recruiting song ...... ........ and very fine it is too ...... It's been soggy² or maybe even soggy³ for about 10 days now, and it must have given all the Swifts, Swallows and House Martins a right bashing. Normally we get them whooshing around the house almost constantly , and I've missed seeing them a lot. (Swallows are slightly more numerous than last year's low numbers.. but not by much.) As for the Swift's offspring, have they survived this crap spell of weather ? Don't know. There's certainly been a distinct lack of insects. But....but...but ...... BUT .... yesterday, with slightly better/less bad weather, 1 ( one) Swift appeared. And this morning, despite the early rain ( what a surprise) 4 Swifts have appeared and have been swooshing around the skies again. Can Swifts "do" a 2nd brood ? Don't know ! ( Later .. no they don't) After all, they haven't got very long .... ± 100 days is their lot.Roughly. Ballpark figure. And do you remember that odd thought I had, about whether they breed again when they arrive back in Africa ? Don't know .... most people I've asked about it say no. But they're not sure. I'm pretty sure they don't, but why not ? Everything else is, once they get down there. NEXT DAY .. further Swift progress .... up to now I've only spotted 1 Swift nest on the row of houses at the end of the road ..... but this morning another Swift went into another nest ! Yo ! That's doubled the count. There's been lots of "don't knows" in all that. That's real life for you. If I was a trainspotter, everything would be a lot simpler ... and reliable. I hope you enjoy this bit of " anti-pop" as much as I did ...... Well well! This morning we got the astonishing and surprising(?)(not!) news that somebody has, for the 3rd year running, leaked some of the questions for an A level maths exam! And the answers as well. I find this deeply disappointing. You see, I would like to think that all those maths students would be "doing" maths because they liked doing maths. After all, they had a choice. They could have done Geography ( Geography is going places) or Art ( Easel'y mastered) or History ( A thing of the past) or even General Studies ( er?)... But they chose Maths. But apparently, some of them don't actually want to "do" it. But they DO want to pass the exam. Because ...er ..... they want to go to University. And the University accepts them because they have shown that they are good at it. But if they have simply copied the answers for £70, they might well not be. But strangely, a huge proportion of those students seem to get A's these days. Something doesn't seem right there. I don't think people have got any brighter over the last 30 years. You can't help wondering if that might be the cause of a lot of this "stress" that, it seems, vast numbers of students now suffer from. hold on a minute ..... BUT WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH BIRD-SPOTTING ? Well, for a start, we set ourselves "exams" all the time. We're out there ID-ing dinky dodgers 3 miles up going "squeeeeee" or "twink" as a matter of course. Of course. Other utterances are available. Every day, every minute, we're being tested by the very subject matter we are involved with... ...elusive hoodwinks deep inside bushes .... raptors flying 2000 metres above us and 4 miles away .... warblers which sound very much like other warblers warbling..... a long-tailed tit/bearded tit "hybrid" that we'd love to think was a penduline tit, 749 metres away and 4 feet inside a reedbed. A flock of 11 skuas whizzing 30 cm above the windswept waves banking and shearing about 80 miles away in a force 8 whoosher at 6 am. We've all been there. That's what we do .... because, oddly enough, we BLOODY WELL WANT TO. And on top of that, there have been suggestions of actual " Birding Exams" set by Top Birders .... although I suspect that each "organisation" will have their own style ... oh yes. ( That's an idea and a ½ ... I'll get writing a "sample paper" for each one.) And as my loyal readers will know, I have leaked (after the actual exam of course) an actual " Flintshire Bird Club" exam. I did it to "reveal" a certain "hint" of "dumbing down" ...... here, if I can find it, is the link to it .... aha ...here it is ..... 190-a-leaked-flintshire-bird-club-exam-paper.html ..and this is why I leaked it .... -190-flintshire-bid-clubs-latest-exam-results.html OK ..what we need now is a real blast of a song that blows away all that cynical, nit-picking stuff I've been tripetapping ..... I just know that "Toi et moi" will love it ... it will blow away all the webcobs ... Oh yes, another feast of index-related mayhem .... here we go .................. Staring, Abuts 390 Arrow-tailed , 386 Black-basted, 387 Blended Glossy, 388 Blended- shelled Wingnut-Chested, 386 Bonce-tailed, 388 Bristol-crowned, 387 Chest-bellied, 392 Chest Nutwinged, 335 Edge-detailed, 389 Eve's Log-tailed, 389 Fisher's, 391 Glue-eared, 389 Hare's, 390 Hill- Brained, 391 Ken Rink's , 386 Lesser Glue-eared, 389 Mali Wingnut-Chested, 387 Map-guy's, 390 Olden-breasted , 392 Rumpled Glossy ,388 Rumple-headed, 387 Rumple's wrong-tailed, 389 Shell-eared, 392 Shy, 339 Souper's , 392 Toolman's , 386 Violent-baked, 390 Wall-eyed Wingnut-chested, 386 Walleted, 393 Wedding, 385 Why-billed, 387 Why-crowned, 391 Why-winged, 391 Blimey .... what a list ! But ... what are they really ? Where do they live ? I wish I knew. After that rather obscure " arty-cul" here's a fine GZM song ... [ cul = arse = french slang ] Methu aros tan haf ... can't wait till summer ! ( V. appropriate) All through our stay on the Abergele coast I was puzzled and hornswoggled by a strange thing going on with the coastline. In search of "the elusive Black-headed gull" I scanned along the coastline towards Rhyl frequently from roughly just below where that number 79 is, .... there it is, as straight as a very straight thing .... right the way to, of course, Rhyl. Well, on the blasted map it is ..... But ... in real life, it was like this .... noticeably, obviously, curved. It actually stuck out a good bit more than that .... I blame my crap drawing. For example, I've tipped the steeple and the mast over to the left a bit. They weren't like that really. Most of their wind is from the left anyway ! Although some of the wind is, regrettably, from the people of Rhyl. We actually made a special expedition deep into the heart of Rhyl ....just to check that we weren't looking at something much further away ... and sure enough, we weren't... there was the church steeple, and the tall mast. in your actual Rhyl. And they were well sticky-out. Not another 17 miles away. So ...what's going on there then ? Well, the Ordnance Survey do put mistakes on their maps .... they do it so that if someone tries to photocopy and sell them, they can prove it actually is an OS map. But those " deliberate mistakes" are tiny, inconsequential things.... a barn is moved 2mm to the left, a lake is made slightly the wrong shape, that sort of thing. I don't think they would give the Welsh coastline a honking great twist to the left like that. Nor is the Welsh air ultra-refractive so as to make it appear curved. So we can rule "Curved Air" out. But what has all this got to do with birds ? Well, it was a bit of birding that found it out.So there. And it would make a right mess of any "quadrat-based" seabird counts. Oh yes. Oh Calamity ! Also , you'll be wondering why I didn't photograph it. Well, I did ... but mysteriously, they weren't there when I looked for them. Mind you, that does happen. It's a very cheap camera. 2/6 in old money. This one came out though .... Bangor pier ... she was just about to lock up ..... it wasn't locking-up time, but the decking was ,apparently ,too slippy after a whole day of rain. That was the day I didn't need to deploy " Radiohead". [See post 506] ..and once again, I've come up with a song that's got absolutely nothing to do with anything... |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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