Not that you've much chance of spotting owt. We were talking about the Tour de France at Gr. Stumps yesterday .... and about the birding possibilities. Or lack of them. I remember previous tours where they would point the cameras up sometimes at birds of prey ... usually too far away to id except to genus .... or you might hear a bird or two as they went through some dense foresty bit ... very rarely you might see " something" flitting over the road .... but your best bet was when they went by or over lakes ... or estuaries ..... for some reason the birds seem to be bigger and more conspicuous/less cryptic in those sort of places. They're often white . Why are so many seabirds white ? Or for that matter, black ? Then there's those mountains ..... where there might indeed be good stuff ...those windswept cafes up near the summits with big car parks and therefore food and therefore birds .... but I've never seen any. They're too busy filming the riders huffing and puffing drearily up those aforementioned slopes. And , of course, whizzing down them at nake-breck speeds. I wonder ,er, why . Anyway, yesterday was a "break" day when they show the highlights, but they also tend to put some quirky bits in. They "did" that big bloke with a sort of Viking outfit on running alongside the riders ... cliche 1, and cliche 2 was the galloping horses. Well, horse actually. But no discernible birds. I expected better. I'll keep looking. And may the road rise with you .... LATEST ..as I'm writing this, a crow has landed on the roof, and stuck its head through the open window. It is staring at me now, as I write. It looks very confident.
How bizarre ! A bit later ... it has flown off.
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The Flat Controller, as you will all know, is our sort of self-appointed boss in all birdly matters . Luckily he has a heart of gold, always willing to help, never goes throwing hard-working minions out of bird reserves for no apparent reason, and always apologises for any mistakes. He is so generous, he has to have a more ruthless sidekick who is always there to stop him giving away all his money and clothes to the poor and needy. He's also an excellent driver and his car is immaculate and spotless in every way. And his sense of humour is second to none. He's also incredibly thin ..... hence the name. Anyway ... today he is in his ringing hut, (pictured above, plus two visitor experience managers), the walls decked with top awards for politeness, good judgement, diplomacy and helping visitors. But he has a problem. He needs to weigh this morning's batch of birds. But .. his posh electronic scales have packed in. All he has is an ancient "balance" thingy, and only 4 weights. 1g, 3g, 9g and 27g. He's probably given all the others to the poor and needy of the parish. As you can see, he has ingeniously weighed the first bird using the 3g on the left with the bird, and the 1g and 9g on the right. He didn't need the 27g thing for that one. ........ so the bird weighs 7 grams. He's a clever clogs, that Flat Controller. But he's worried ! Obviously he will be able to "do" some weights up to 40 grams ..... but can he "do" all the ones in between ? That, should you choose to have a go, is your task for the day. You never know, you might be in the same position one day. There's no substitute for actual experience with these sorts of problem. By the way, he's so busy he sends his wife to parent's evenings ... There will be "solutions" ... but not yet.
Otherwise you would not be motivated to try it for yourselves. I've done some lovely "drawings" to go with them. And a nifty chart. But did I manage all of them from 1-40 ? Aha ... that's for you to find out. Seriously ... it certainly should ! I suppose you'll be wanting to know what exactly should be banned........ OK then .... it's dangerous, it's wrong, it's thoughtless and pointless ! YES ..... it's DRIVING AND BIRD-SPOTTING AT THE SAME TIME !! Come on, you all do it. And it's right dodgy. And if you really really must, then at least make it "ahead only." No gawping sideways for 17 seconds just to spot a magpie. No looking upwards for 13¾ seconds at what turns out to be a Starling. Or back-spotting.... probably even worserer, and pointlesser. If you can't resist spotting in the car ...... Be the passenger...................... ............................. and NOT the driver. There we are ... I've been serious there for the first time in ages. It feels a bit odd. It won't be easy. There'll be tears and tantrums. But you know it makes sense. And, serendipitously, it gives me a chance to put this lovely song on here again..... Ooooooooh ...and this one ! I've been investigating that "bird anagram" question I asked you 2 posts ago .... skip back if you haven't "adh a og" .... making sure that I actually had the "ghirt" answers myself .... and what to "do" about Category C etc .... .... when another question drifted into my "dimn/abinr". Do UK "rare" birds tend to have longer names than " the rest" ? On average . And if they do, why ? Why did I think of that ? Well ..... We were whooshing along the M6. And it said " average speed check." And I said to The Significant Otter .... " I wonder which average they use ?" I think a good lawyer could get you off that way. He/she could point out to the judge that the driver had not been fully informed as to the exact nature of that "average" Would I be allowed to go at 30 for the first half, and then at 110 for the 2nd half. Average ..... 70 mph ! Or is it ? It might depend on what I mean by "half." Think about it. I wouldn't be surprised if nobody actually knows. I fancy the Geometric Mean myself. There's quite a few other sorts. And that's the way my mind works. If you can call it "work." And that brought that "Average Bird Name Length" thing to mind. So that's the next thing to think about .. And so is this ...... you might "spot" a bird or two .... Apparently, today is "Pandemonium Day" and "National Nude Day" You've got to wonder if one leads to the other. Or might it be "the other" ? I wonder if there's a Subliminal Day when everything is on the edge of perception....... There was an article in the paper yesterday about the influx of Painted Ladies into the UK. It's been very noticeable here all right ..... and very welcome. But in the article they implied that they came here "because they knew there was going to be hot weather." Er ... oh no they didn't ! Butterflies don't "know" anything ! Not in the sense we mean it anyway. And they certainly have no means whatsoever of forecasting hot weather neither where they are nor anywhere else. Some gormless anthropomorphism is going on there, and I don't like it. Anyway, round our way the big drop over the past 5 years or so has been all the small butterflies .... I've not seen a Blue for instance, Small or otherwise, for ages. And oddly, there have been quite a few almost-waspless years recently, so much so that I've actually counted all my sightings, and in several years I haven't even got into double figures. Strange, but true. I haven't seen anything about that ! Hey ... that's three reasonably shortish posts in a row. Time then for a bit of cutting-edge German Lautschmettern ! Butterfly, you little thing !
If you're not sure what a bird anagram dictionary is, have a look at the previous post .... ( Pause while you skip back and read it ... and do it ! ) Now you are ready for two tricky questions ..... easiest one first. If you had that UK Bird Anagram book ..... [1] What would be the first bird in it ? ( That's the easy bit) [2] What would be the last bird in it ? ( That's the harder bit) A quick one this.... Imagine you've got a " Bird Anagram Dictionary". Just for UK birds of course. In case you're not sure what such a thing does .... It turns Blackbird into abbcdiklr And Kestrel in eeklrst. And duck into cdku. And anagram into aaagmnr So ...... sticking just to all those UK 4-letter birds There ain't many of them ... [1] Which two of them are just the same as usual in this anagram dictionary ? [2] Which one is completely reversed ? [3] Which one starts with "a" ? [4] Which one sounds like a lot of ratites ? [5] How many are there altogether ? There. Done. I hope you found that interesting. And this ...... Needless to say, like every other twerp in celebrity-land, Amil has shunted his talents into the birding sphere. I think his relaxed attitude, friendly demeanour and general all-round laid-back approach will inject a new fresh, git-led atmosphere to our cherished pastime. And as the destroyer of top pop band Soriasis he has the skills to stir things up a bit ...about time too. And ... he's found a rare bird ... or thinks he has. How would he know ? And ... he's sent his " description" to the BBRC ( Baby Arsy, he calls it) Yes, he's written it all up, sorted, right ? ..... Baby Arsy ..... you'd best read this or else..... Ok ? OK, I'm on it, listen up, I was out with me kids, don't mess with them mate, or you'll get a wack round the 'ed, fat bastard, anyway, took 'em to the park didn't I, good parenting, right, you arguing wiv that mate ? Eh ? yor up for a slap rarnd the 'ed so watch it mate.There's all these dopeheads after me ortograff, but I'm , like, piss off, and there's this bird, yeah, and I'm shitting meself, know what I mean, bloody bastard big thing, attitude, I know all abart that, me, so don't mess me around or I'll be rarnd your gaff sharpish with me mates, it 'ad 2 legs, that might 'elp you wiv it, and , 'old up, me eldest 'as got 'old of it, gerroff it Cheyenne or you-know-bleedin' wot, I hope youse Baby Arsy lots lissnin or you'll not ave no neecaps left so think on ..... great big 'ed on it, bloody bonced up it was, totally bonced I fought, don't mess wiv it mate, I told the kids, leeve it, leeve it kids, snot wurf it if y'kno wot I meen, anyway, you lot in your swanky offisses droolin all over those tarted-up secret airy's you've all got, don't fink I don't kno abart it, you'se job is to tell me what the bastard is, and sharpish or I'll be rarnd your gaff tooled up, don't fink I carnt find it I can find owt me, I've got mates, right, leave it Cheyenne, tell you wot, fetch it over 'ere and I'll get a proper butchers at it, shite, you've ad it in the bleedin' pond you soft tart, look .I 'aint got the time for all this ritin' an stuff, get it sorted art swiftish or bleedin' else. Don't say I've not told yer. Hey, I've just remembered it were right bonced up too .. 'ow 'ard can it effing be ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well readers, if you were lucky enough to be one of the BBRC panel, what would be your decision, allowing for the fact that you had to get it "sorted" pretty " sharpish" or you would be "up for" a "slap rarnd the 'ed" at the very least ! ...............and now, fittingly, a song about strange birds .... ..and here he is in person, telling it like it is with his usual charm and poise .. no wot i meen mate ? ..... It doesn't look that special. But .... it's the Gray-Brown White-Eye ! I'm not totally certain that it is so very special .... but I think it probably is. Even if it's not incredibly unique, because there might, possibly,be other contenders, but I can't find any .... it would still be pretty remarkable. So ... short and sweet .... what is so remarkable/possibly unique about it ? ..and here's a "special" song ..... If you know of a better one, I would be pleased to hear about it....
[email protected] ( Even something of equal status would be interesting.) What colours do you see in this dress ? Now get other people to look at it. Yonks ago I brought your attention to various "illusions/vision problems" that might affect our identification skills and decisions. One of them, a rather startling one, is that up there. Here's the link to what I wrote about it back then ...... 14-id-problems-381.html Well, here's another one that's been a bit of sensation ... have a look at this rather peculiar video ... Let's face it, you don't want to spend valuable time scanning a non-existent beach ! I suppose you might eventually spot the giveaway fact that the sea wasn't, er, moving ! Plus ... the car might drive off . This next one is much simpler .... a colour-perception test. You are shown a row of colours, and you try to pick out the "different" one. The first set you might find to be easy-peasy Then they get tougher and tougher. I got through the first three stages 100% That was " exceptional" eyesight. But I completely failed all of the final set ! Ouch. [ Afterthought .... I might have done better in a darkened room][ so might you] This, of course, is very relevant to birding .... fine differences in neighbouring colour tracts could well be crucial. It might also affect your " colour-ring" reading. Here we go .... by the way, to get to the last section you have to skip some ads... Now ..imagine how it would screw up your ID skills if birds were flying around in an Ames room !! Here's what it might be like .... in a room like this, a Wren could become a Buzzard in seconds.... maybe ... plus ... we haven't had a German song on here for a while.. |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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