Needless to say, like every other twerp in celebrity-land, Amil has shunted his talents into the birding sphere. I think his relaxed attitude, friendly demeanour and general all-round laid-back approach will inject a new fresh, git-led atmosphere to our cherished pastime. And as the destroyer of top pop band Soriasis he has the skills to stir things up a bit ...about time too. And ... he's found a rare bird ... or thinks he has. How would he know ? And ... he's sent his " description" to the BBRC ( Baby Arsy, he calls it) Yes, he's written it all up, sorted, right ? ..... Baby Arsy ..... you'd best read this or else..... Ok ? OK, I'm on it, listen up, I was out with me kids, don't mess with them mate, or you'll get a wack round the 'ed, fat bastard, anyway, took 'em to the park didn't I, good parenting, right, you arguing wiv that mate ? Eh ? yor up for a slap rarnd the 'ed so watch it mate.There's all these dopeheads after me ortograff, but I'm , like, piss off, and there's this bird, yeah, and I'm shitting meself, know what I mean, bloody bastard big thing, attitude, I know all abart that, me, so don't mess me around or I'll be rarnd your gaff sharpish with me mates, it 'ad 2 legs, that might 'elp you wiv it, and , 'old up, me eldest 'as got 'old of it, gerroff it Cheyenne or you-know-bleedin' wot, I hope youse Baby Arsy lots lissnin or you'll not ave no neecaps left so think on ..... great big 'ed on it, bloody bonced up it was, totally bonced I fought, don't mess wiv it mate, I told the kids, leeve it, leeve it kids, snot wurf it if y'kno wot I meen, anyway, you lot in your swanky offisses droolin all over those tarted-up secret airy's you've all got, don't fink I don't kno abart it, you'se job is to tell me what the bastard is, and sharpish or I'll be rarnd your gaff tooled up, don't fink I carnt find it I can find owt me, I've got mates, right, leave it Cheyenne, tell you wot, fetch it over 'ere and I'll get a proper butchers at it, shite, you've ad it in the bleedin' pond you soft tart, look .I 'aint got the time for all this ritin' an stuff, get it sorted art swiftish or bleedin' else. Don't say I've not told yer. Hey, I've just remembered it were right bonced up too .. 'ow 'ard can it effing be ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well readers, if you were lucky enough to be one of the BBRC panel, what would be your decision, allowing for the fact that you had to get it "sorted" pretty " sharpish" or you would be "up for" a "slap rarnd the 'ed" at the very least ! ...............and now, fittingly, a song about strange birds .... ..and here he is in person, telling it like it is with his usual charm and poise .. no wot i meen mate ? .....
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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