When I was half-awake this morning this odd thought popped into my empty head ..... something I'd never actually thought about before.... When our Swifts go back to Africa, do they breed there as well ? I know it seems like a stupid question ... but then again, why shouldn't they ? After all, presumably all the resident birds down there are breeding merrily. And come to that, what about House Martins and Swallows etc ? I haven't googled it .... mainly because I still think it's a gormless question. But the "reckless" chunk of my mind says, no it isn't. Maybe you know ........ While you're thinking about that (or just laughing at my stupid thought) here's the voice of France's conscience with the hard-hitting "Jeunesse lève-toi" ..and if you want to sing along, here's the words ... you know you want to really ...
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I was talking to somebody who knows these things ... we'll call him Curly .... he's got a mention here before .. and we got round to this " where are all the blasted Swallows ?" thing. I mean, yes, some more Swallows have, eventually arrived, over a month late ... but in nothing like the usual numbers. My theory was, they're all lying on their backs, dead as door-nails, in some desert somewhere. It's happened with other species in the past. But Curly tells me that the Swallows arrived v. late in southern Europe, and because they were ± a month late and needed to get breeding sharpish... they stopped there and got nest-building and egg-laying etc. It's as if you were off on your Norfolk holiday but the car kept conking out and there were massive traffic jams so you had only got as far as Stoke-on-Trent and most of the fortnight's holiday had been and gone ... so you decided to just have the rest of your holiday right there in, cripes, Stoke-on-Trent. You know it has to be the sensible choice. So now we know......so here's the ever-brilliant Death Cab for Cutie and " Title and Registration" .. surely one of the least interesting song titles of all time... The glove compartment is inaccurately named
And everybody knows it So I'm proposing a swift orderly change 'Cause behind its door, there's nothing to keep my fingers warm And all I find are souvenirs from better times Before the gleam of your taillights fading east To find yourself a better life I was searching for some legal document As the rain beat down on the hood When I stumbled upon pictures I tried to forget And that's how this idea was drilled into my head 'Cause it's too important to stay the way it's been There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide Lying awake at night There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide Lying awake at night, up all night When I'm lying awake at night I told you there would be more .... and like last time, some are dead obvious .. ..and some not so obvious ... .and some a bit obscure ... so I've helped you a bit.... but it would also help if you covered 4 of those kids in the middle picture up... I couldn't find a picture of just one of them .. ... you should be coasting along now ... no pun intended... ..... these 3-picture ones are good ... .... This single-picture job should be easy ... but is it ? This one should be a world record .... .... surely this one will stymie you ? .. and if that didn't, maybe this will .... Well, I hoped you got them all ... and if you didn't ... wake up, you sleepy-head ! I had almost forgotten what a fine song that was...
I thought assembling these would be dead easy but in fact they take a while .... so I'll probably add stuff on as I think of more .... actually, it's not the thinking- them- up .. it's the sorting-them--out..... Here's the first one .. dead easy ... Here's the 2nd one ... a trifle unsavoury ... you'll never think of this bird in quite the same way again ... No. 3 .... features a tree ... Expanding our horizons ... But this one is simplicity itself .... I couldn't find a picture of just ONE of those things on the left .... so I suggest you just cover the other four up with your hand .. thank you. That's enough for now ... my typing fingers ( both of them) are knackered.) Bring on the music .... Jen Jeniro .. Dolphin Pinc a Melyn ... terrific riff at the start .. ace. I can't remember where I first read about "Arsers" and "Leggers". There are birders who sit and wait .... they're "Arsers." And there are birders who zip about from spot to spot ... " Leggers." Although I think " Sluggers" and "Sloggers" might be more polite names. You might recall a thing I wrote about how our local " self-appointed" birding boss had a right go at "people" who sat in hides. He didn't approve. He told them they were useless lazy-arses who weren't "proper" birders at all. ... or something similar. And all us "lazy-arses" rebelled against this top-down barrage of acrimony .... it's all here at the end of this link.... 37-the-boss.html But most of the time I'm a Legger ... except when I'm at home. Us thin, left-handed people are generally a bit jumpy. That doesn't necessarily mean they have a thin left hand ... though I have. And while I'm sitting here writing this, I'm being an "Arser" .... and I'm Arsing away hearing a Gt. Spot outside in the garden, watching Swifts and House Martins whooshing about, Woodys and Collys making lots of noise with their wings, a chiffchaff singing, Jackdaws .... all avian life is here. Greenfinch now. Although I think we should be calling them Greenf"es really. Hang on .... Greenf2½cmes. Anyway, most of us are a bit of both ... and long may it be so. But when I've written this, I'm going to be a Legger for an hour or two.... Things wouldn't be right without a "relevant" bit of music .... I was going to put The Strangler's "Hanging Around " on , but I can't find a decent version of it ... they're either stills or duff-sounding live versions .. so here's the excellent Cardigans with their very own "Hanging Around" .... dedicated to all birders out there, Arsers or Leggers or both. I wonder what it's like
Seeing through your eyes You've offered me to have a try But I was always late The filters that I use [ must be an Aztec then] [ they only watch birds through a camera] Give me an excuse I take away what's real I feel it and it blows my fuse I hang around [ that's more an Arser sort of attitude..] For another round I'm hanging around [ and again] For another round I'm hanging on To the same old song I hang around [more arsing] For another round Until something stops me I wonder what it's like Walking by your side [ that's more "legger" - looking. To think before I talk And to move at the same speed as you walk [ yep , definitely legging now ] I want to have a weight To keep me in your state I'm watching from above [ I wonder if "drone-birding" is Arsing or Legging ??] I love it but it's not for me Show me a birder, and I'll show you someone who loves maps. Some we make ourselves ..... like that one up there. Sometimes we make tiny maps like these ... Sometimes we are envious of other peoples' maps .... I made this one to illustrate my Mandarin Orange Navigation System ! Of which you will be hearing about later ..... A few "official" sorts of maps now ... Let's finish off with an odd sort of map .... but what's the odd thing about it ? I'm sure there will be more maps of various types to come... but meanwhile, here's the very appropriate Vetusta Morla song " Mapas" ... Si quiero encerrar,
El ruido en murallas de cartón. Me dejo atrapar, Prendido en bovinas sin color. Si callo yo por vos, Si dejo el silencio entrar, Envió postales sin sellar. Si busco en los mapas, Que nos dieron al llegar. Me pierdo en la recta sin trazar. Cada error en cada intersección, No es un paso atrás, Es un paso más. Cada curva en cada borrador, No es un paso atrás, Es un paso más. Desvelo el final, Si borro mis cintas de cassette. Si quiebro la lente, http://www.coveralia.com/letras/mapas-vetusta-morla.php Que escupe mi sombra en la pared. Si tiro la aguja al mar, Si ahogo el altavoz. Conjuro el presente en el retrovisor. Cada error en cada intersección, No es un paso atrás, Es un paso más. Cada curva en cada borrador, No es un paso atrás, Es un paso más. Cada surco en cada borrón, No es un paso atrás, Es un paso más. Cada error en cada intersección, No es un paso atrás, Es un paso más, Es un paso más, Es un paso más. [1] We were staying in Bacton ( Norfolk) in a caravan ... we always went to Bacton because it was cheap, and it was cheap because the caravan site is right next to a humungous Gas Terminal... great for helicopter-spotting though. Anyhow, one morning I was walking along the clifftop path and a kestrel was standing in the grass a few feet away obviously looking for something. I crept up to it, like you do, and it stayed there ... closer and closer I got ... then I bent down, so close I could have touched it. Suddenly it glimpsed me out of the corner of its eye, and rolled over onto its back, its claws in the air ! I picked it up very carefully and placed it in the palm of my other hand. It sat there for about 20 seconds and then flew off. How bizarre ! Since then I've handled quite a few Kestrels for ringing purposes, and one of their favourite tricks is to shove their hind claw right through your finger and out the other side. But that one was very well-behaved. I've had sparrowhawks do that too. Ouch. Of course, nobody believed me when I got back. But I wasn't surprised. It was the same week that I came off that motorbike and arrived at the door covered in blood. They didn't believe that story either. [2] I was cycling home from work .... it was a twisty country road with lots of blind corners ... and I had just got round a specially twisty and blindy bit when a kestrel flew right under my nose .... between my arms holding the handlebars and my head. A tenth of a second later and I would have bashed into it! If only I'd had one of those fancy modern helmet cameras it would have been a brilliant sequence in slow-mo. I'm not sure which of us was the most surprised. The next day it was very windy, and in the very same place I had a puncture.... that was bad enough... but then when I opened my little puncture repair kit the wind got hold of the strip of patches and blew them away into the field and far away. I can't help thinking that that bloody Kestrel was involved somehow. That hind-claw thing was surely a factor. I had to walk the rest of the way home .... Well , that was all very exciting was it not. But it's music time now ... it's Philipp Poisel mit " Eiserner Steg" .. notice the "no marker" -r ending on the adjective there !! When I was 11 and went to Secondary School I discovered the Arthur Ransome books in the library ..all twelve of them. Even at that time I was very interested in what was then called " nature" or "natural history" and those books really stimulated my enthusiasm. Mind you, I was also incredibly jealous and got the strong feeling that I was living a wretched, scratty , grindingly boring and repressed life ... and here's why... Coot Club was the first one I read.... the basic idea was that several immensely overprivileged children spend a seeming eternity of balmy summer days sailing two dinghys around the Norfolk Broads in the ± total absence of their parents. The boats were called Swallow and Amazon ... so you can guess what the name of each set of kids was. Dick was the nerdy, swotty type who "knew all the names of the birds" and kept a smart-arse notebook full of , er, notes. He wore glasses, obviously, because of all that reading he did. He became, of course ,my hero. He still is. A bit. They had an enemy of course... the Hullabaloos. There they are ... in their boat, the Margoletta. It was a great big boat and it and they made lots of noise and disturbed the coots that Dick was studying. Aha ! The Swallows and Amazons had a cause !!! They were going to protect the coots from the Hullabaloos at all costs. .... but were they successful ? You'll have to read Coot Club to find out..... Readers, I was gripped. I was only 11 remember. I was easily impressed. I still am. After reading Coot Club ( which is a long, long book by the way, as are they all) I went on to read all the others. The best ones for me were the birdy ones ... Great Northern was really good read. The only odd one out that I never took to was Missee Lee ... the atmosphere is all wrong. It was quite a few years before I ever went to Norfolk..... my family had many holidays on the coast, and when I had a family myself we went to Norfolk and sometimes Suffolk for many a summer. Blakeney, Cley, Cromer, Bacton (!) etc. As that Jazz Club bloke would say ...... Ace ! Yes readers .. swotty Dick had a bloody telescope.
Quite a while ago [ post 101] I showed you a smashing ( in my opinion) index that I made ..... it's an index for the "binoculars" section in Bill Oddie's Little Black Bird Book. I was quite chuffed with it myself, because most indexes are right boring and dry. Not mine though. In case you didn't see it at the time, here it is ... Adverts 59 Army, German 60 bins 58, 59 binoculars 58, 59, 60,61 big, butch 60 caps, chewing 60 rain 60 staining 60 sun 60 warping 60 distressing of 60 effeminate 60 expensive 60 little 60 poncy 60 small 60 strap, long, disapproval of 61 short, approval of, 61 too short, chin issue 61 waist, dangling down to, sporran-like, disapproval of 61 wearing, where 61 neck, round 61 shoulder, over 61 birds, rare 61 blood, staining with 60 case, binocular, over shoulder binoculars in, disapproval of, 61 losing, approval of 61 lunch, packed, in , approval of 6 roll-ups in, approval of 61 soppiness of .... 61 throwing away ... safest idea 61 coffee , staining with 60 corpses, bird, rings of 61 tideline, binocular case, in, approval of, 61 Crane, bird 59 Crane, crane 59 Diminutives 58 dozen, half of ... 60 dude, not a ... 60 wealthy 60 dust 59 Edges, blue 59 orange 59 Equipment, essential 58 Germany, west 60 Glass 58,59 Hipness 58 Leitz 60 Lenses, clean 60 great, big 59 scratched 60 Magnification x25 ,59 x 10 ,59 15p per , 59 monsters 59 mud 60 name, German 59 'nockies 59 Noddy 59 Noddy, Bill 59 Papers, morning, saturday 59 Parts, precision 59 posh 58 rain 59 rings, festooning with 60 diamond, not festooning with 60 ear- , not festooning with 61 rooms, ringing, Observatory ... 61 sand 60 SCH 59 shameless 59 soup, tomato, staining with 60 stoop , permanent 59 sun 59 twee 59 water 59 weathers, all 60 workmanlike 58 Z 59, 60 Zeiss 60 Zoffel and Schuntz 59, 60 x25 60 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ But, you might ask, why am I showing it to you again.... is it because .. [a] I'm very forgetful ? [b] I'm an idiot. [c] I'm very forgetful. [d] I was just keen to show off. [e] I'm trying to get you all to comment on how brilliant it is. [t] I'm very forgetful. Well, no. The REAL reason is ... you know that Willy Wordsworth poem with the stuffed owl in it that I just wrote about 2 posts ago ..well, it was in a really clever book full of cack poetry ! It was called, of course... The Stuffed Owl. Which was right up my street. But .... but ... the index was very very interesting ... here's a few bits from it ... there's quite a few wildlife references in there ... so pay attention .... Now I think you'll agree that they've nicked my idea ... that's just like my blasted index ... but funnier. Well, they've got better material to work with. But there's a snag there ... their book was published in, er, oh dear, 2003. They've obviously got some sort of time machine and wooshed forward to nick my brilliant indexing method. But I don't mind. I'm a generous old Hector after all. Further entertainment .. the great Graham Parker .. " (Don't bother with the) local girls " ......... |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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