...and it's all true...well, it was true yesterday when all this happened .... [1] I "got" the first Chiffchaff of the year .... well, of "my" year anyway. [2] Later, at Grumbling Stumps,someone asked me " what that loud bird was" .. So I told them it was a Cetti's Warbler. And they said .. " No it isn't." Then they walked off. They said it in a snooty, dismissive sort of way. I felt a bit miffed. [3] Then I spotted a whole load of parents and children in a big barbed-wire- fenced enclosure. I thought it was a bit odd, but it's a good idea in my opinion. [4] Then I zoomed in on a peculiar "call" ... the closer I got, the peculiarer it got. Someone else was also in the same boat ... she had no idea what it was either. We both hung around trying to make some sense of this farcical cacophony..and eventually gave up . The stupid thing stayed out of sight. We discussed this whole thing of " knowing enough to know it's something odd" which only comes with years of experience and/or being a total twit-brained prannock. [5] Back at the " Cetti's Warbler Encounter Experience" there was a group of people listening to it. They were discussing what it might be. Readers ... I did not stick my hooter in this time ... I just walked on by ! [6] On the way back I dropped in at a sure-fire, 100% reliable Sand Martin site .... and yes, there were no Sand Martins. Not one. Nada. Nichts.Dim byd. Aucun. A typical Day in the Real World. No Triumph, no Tragedy. And to round it all off, here's the Stranglers with their take on " Walk on By" Maybe this was a better choice .... using "días raros" in the sense of "strange days" ...and before anyone has a go at me, día is one of the few Spanish words which end with -a but are masculine .... so there ! You might want to song along with it .... who wouldn't ? ....
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Very fittingly, what with it being the Spring Equinox, "our" Gt. Spots were about, and for the first time this year the male was drumming ..... all day. It was so loud we could hear it with the windows shut. And ...after a Dismal Day of Drizzle, today is almost reasonable .... well well. And on the news they were telling us that our water is going to run out in a few years time, and the next news item was all about the huge flooding there has been all over the country.... so ..which is right ? Plus ... old duffers like me have had a lifetime of "predictions" that have turned out to be a load of old cobblers, so we tend to be rather cynical about it all. I remember all those warnings that oil was going to run out within 20 years .... well, that deadline flew by many, many years ago and there still seems to be an awful lot of it about. And people are still jetting around the globe, mostly pointlessly, using up the highest grade of the stuff, on ridiculously cheap flights. You could hardly make it up. And I bet "Govey" our "Environment Minister" or something, is gobbling up gallons of the stuff every day swanning about the land .... and maybe other lands too ..... which seems a bit, er, contradictory. And we are now being told that Joris Bohnson could well be our next PM. Gawd 'elp us ! Let's remind ourselves of his one and, I hope, only "Rarity Description" of a Black Stork ...... shall we ? Oh yes .... . . . ↓ Well ... phwooooar ! What a corker ! Cripes ! More of a Corker- Sort-er-Stork-er, what ? Big ! I'll say ! Corks ! A right whopper... remember that barmaid at Wynthorpe-Jegger's 21st ? No ... nobody else does either. Talk about whoppers !!! Tell you what ... just between you, me and the butler's mum ..... it was a big-un. Legs !! Miles long !! Stonkers !! Looked a bit like that bit of stuff ... used to clean my rooms at Balliol !! Poop-Poop ! Erk ! Hard to keep things in the old trousers sort of thing. Phwooaaaaar. Ding-Ding-A-ling. Details ! Cripes ??!! Yes, you'll be wanting, er, hang on a minute, what was I on about, wait a sec, got it , yes, no probs, details.... yes... not a "details"sort of bloke really, don't need it in my line of work, whatever, er, whatever it is, hang on , it's coming back to me, er, sort of, reminds me of me old mucker Trentby-Stinker, or was it Stinkby-Trenter, well, one of those, or something, he couldn't remember his own bally name, had a bugger of a time getting home after a bit of a binge down at Jollocks, so did I, come to that, never did find those trousers, but hang on, it was black and, er, white, yes, whatever you do, Joris, don't mention Minstrels, seem to think that might get me in a spot of bother somehow or other, yes, black bits, sure of that, and white,er,other bits, legs ... legs .. they deserve a bit of space on the old page, what, did Stinker-Trentby get his trousers back, no bloody idea actually, moving on, beak, big beak, yes, blimey, what a beak, couldn't help thinking about Beaky Bumface at Balliol, he was always in the Beak's office for something or other, usually the other actually as it happens, now what colour was the beak, wait a sec, it's coming, as the barmaid said to ..hang on, better not do that one, bit near the knuckle, nudge-nudge, Poop-Poop, a blind horse knows no secrets, what, Phooo--aaaaahr !! Corks ! ......................................................................................................................................... sorry, sorry,sorry, nodded off a bit there, Moooooo Moooooo, whose party is it, must slip across the bally room and have a word, no no, hang on, beaks.... red. It was red, yes, hold on, jiggers, the legs were red too ... bloody long as well, I'm telling you, no word of a lie, that Brigitte Barcode or whatever she called herself, Wowsy-Trousers, she had legs. Phwooooaaaar! And the rest, hold on, rhymes with rest, no idea actually, mustn't think about them at the minute, we don't want any more Trouser-Trombone-Trouble, anyway, hold on, you'll need to know what it sounded like, sort of old-gaffer noises, grrrrfff, do it myself during the old rumpy- pumpy, blimey, better cross that out, gasping sort of noise, ooo-er missus, clattery noises too, makes me think of poor old Rupert Crust- Heverington that time he fell off the silly billiard table at the Dorkington, lots of clattering there, rolled him outside onto the pavement I reckon, best thing ... not seen him since actually, now, where was I, or, raaaather, where was it, nearly there, woof-woof, oiks, no bloody clue there, hold on, hold on, lakes, I've got 7 or so on the old shaky-pater's grounds you know, which one, that's the thing, got, it, got it, just a minute, er, one of those, you know old chap, the one where bloody Steggers-Stumpington jumped in starkers ...never seen him since either, odd thing, but that's where it was, up to its legs, grrrr, legs, yes, no, er, hang on, can't be er crumbs quite er right, oourrrhhuuuurhhhhhh..................................................................................... pwwwaaaaaaaaaaar... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm quite proud that I invented the phrase "Trouser-Trombone-Trouble" ... well, I hope I did anyway. And now, a fine song by WelshBandThatSingInEnglish, Catfish & the Bottlemen ..... and "2all" .... I bet you weren't expecting that ! But ... have a gander at this video explaining what it is and what you can use it for.... and then think ...how might this apply to, say, scrutinising bird survey results, or where to go twitching today, or deciding where to go birding tomorrow or next year, or "assessing" the "veracity" of various "sitings" on your local birding website,or reading with a critical/suspicious eye those newspaper stories about bird-related topics or the rarity accounts in BB, or whether to accept a lift to Spurn with person X or person Y, or whether to spend £2000 on new scope that is only 5% better than the one you've already got,or assessing whether the weather forecast for a week away is likely to be anywhere near the truth .... the truth is, the ideas behind Bayes Theorem are relevant to many real-life choices/situations, and might make you think about them in a new, and more sensible or even cynical (?) way. Even if you only watch the first few minutes of it, it will make you think .. ... and maybe, think BETTER ! Another surprise .... NOT ! Here's The Hosiers and CHOICES .... .. and here's the singalong version... At this "in-between" time of the year us oop in't North are eagerly hoping for the migrants to turn up soon. Well, a tiny thing last night ( thanks to the dog and the Essential Last Empty-Out Walk)( You can no doubt envisage why it's called that) was at about 10:10 pm ... 3 calling Curlews went over high up, and in an Easterly Direction. Well well. Off t'moors I reckon. A lovely sound anyway. But what's all that about a Wily Wood Warbler in the title ? Well, I was leafing through my "records", such as they are, of migrant arrivals ... with some interesting results. Here's the 1st arrival dates for Wood Warblers along my "Local Patch Waterway" along which I would walk a previous dog ( Holly) most every (v. early) morning ..... so all these are just for that little ultra-local patch .... but they are startling, and reflect what has happened in the wider area... which at the time, was Lancaster, suburbs of.... Wood Warbler Arrival Dates 1992 '93 '94 '95 '96 '97 '98 '99 10-5 2-5 2-5 8-5 29-4 7-5 3-5 - and no more - for ever after ! Yes, every year for 7 years a Wood Warbler would turn up , sing for a few days, and then bog off . People would actually twitch it "for the year" when I put it on the local site. It wasn't of course, the same one each year .... But ... Wood Warblers disappeared ..well, almost ... and they're very scarce for many many miles around nowadays. As are Garden Warblers .... they used to turn up in my garden years ago ...in fact I ringed one ...they're as rare as rarities nowadays, and have been for ages. One turned up this late spring about 20 miles away and everyone went for it. Here's their " canal turn-up times" in those halcyon days ... Garden Warbler Arrival Dates 1992 '93 '94 '95 '96 '97 '98 '99 '99 13-5 17-4 16-5 10-5 24-4 10-5 3-5 none none .... and none for ever after And here's Spot Fly records ... blimey, they fell off the radar like shit down a drain... Spot Fly arrival dates ..... 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 18-6 - 28-5 - 19-5 8-5 31-5 10-6 and no more, no never nohow. So there we have it. This year, if you remember, it was Swallows that were noticeably both late and absent. Make of that what you will. Now this is a conker of a song ... Indochine ... Le baiser .... and there's a "singalong" words video after it, you jammy lot.... After those two recent posts about "Figures of Speech", I'm sure you'll all want to decorate your rarity submissions, articles for BB and Not BB, your local Bird Report and letters to the Times and/or your granny with these sprightly " figures of speech." There's certainly plenty of them .... here's a handy list for your future enjoyment.... Acoloutha: Reciprocal substitution of words. ( Let's horse up the saddle) Accismus: Feigned refusal of that which is desired. Accumulatio: Drawing points into a powerful climax. Acutezza: The use of wit or wordplay. Acyron: Using a word opposite to what is meant. Adianoeta: Expression that has second, subtle meaning. Adjunction: Putting the verb at the beginning. ( Know I this lowly churl ?) Adynaton: Exaggerated declaration of impossibility. Asteismos: Polite expression of emotion. Aetiologia: A statement with a supporting cause. Affirmatio: Speaking as if one's point is disputed. ( No I'm not) Aganactesis: Indignant exclamation. Allegory: Narrative using sustained metaphor. Alleotheta: Substituting one thing for another. Allusion: Indirect reference. Alliteration: Repetition of same initial sound. ( some souls sew socks) Ambage: See Periphrasis. Amphibology: Ambiguity in grammar. Amphilogy: Circumlocution to avoid harm to oneself. Ampliatio: Using a name where it is not defined. Amplificatio: General enhancement of an argument. Anabasis: Stepwise increase in emphasis. Anacephalaeosis: Summary of known facts. Anacoenosis: Asking opinion of audience to gain agreement. Anacoloutha: Non-reciprocal word substitution. Anacoluthon: Ending a sentence different to expectation. ( I could eat a house) Anacrusis: Unstressed syllables at the start. Anadiplosis: Repeating last word at start of next sentence.( I said so. So must you) Analogy: A is like B. Using one thing to describe another. Anamnesis: Emotional recall. Anangeon: Justification based on necessity. Anaphora: Repeating initial words. Anapodoton: Omitting clause for deliberate effect. Anastrophe: Changing normal word order. Anesis: Adding a conclusion that reduces what was said. ( I'm ace, but not often) Antanaclasis: Repeating same word, with meaning change. Antanagoge: Being positive about something negative. ( I'm definitely not sure) Anthimeria: Substituting one part of speech for another. Antilogy: See Antanaclasis. Antimetabole: repeating clause, reversing word order...( I know that, that I know.) Anthypophora: Asking then answering your own questions. ( Am I mad ? No !) Antiphrasis: Using words in contrary sense for irony. ( Oh, you're SO SO clever ) Antiptosis: Two logical, but contradicting, arguments. Antirhesis: Rejecting bad argument. Antisthecon: Replacing one word element. Antistrophe: Repeating the final word in successive phrases. Antithesis: Contrasting with opposite. Antonomasia: Naming a person with other than their given name. Apcope: Omitting letters from the end of a word. ( A sill wa t tal ) Aphaeresis: Omitting letters from the start of a word. ( he tole y ipstick) Aphorismus: Questioning the meaning of a word. Apophasis: Talking about something without mentioning it. Aporia: Feigned doubt. Aposiopesis: Not completing a sentence. Apostrophe: An 'aside', to others. Apposition: Layered meaning. Archaism: Using out-of-date language. Assonance: Repeating the same vowel sound. Asterismos: Adding a word to emphasize following words. Asyndeton: Omitting conjunctions. Aureation: The use of fancy words. Autoclesis: introducing an item by refusing to discuss it. Auxesis: Enhancement of importance. Bdelygmia: Expression of contempt or hatred. Bomphiologia: Bombastic, bragging speech. Brachyology: Condensed expression. Brevitas: Concise expression. Cacemphaton: Deliberately ill-sounding expression. Cacophony: Harsh combination of words. Catabasis: Steadily decreasing emphasis. Catachresis: Using words incorrectly. ( aka Abusio) Cataphora: Using a word to refer to a word used later. Categoria: Directly exposing another's faults. Chiasmus: Two phrases, with reversal in second. Cledonism: Circumlocution to avoid saying unlucky words. Climax: Words ordered in ascending power. Congeries: see Accumulatio. Consonance: Repeating consonant sounds. ( Wacky backy) Correctio: Correction to revise meaning. Crasis: Contraction of two vowels into a longer sound. Diacope: Repeating word after one or two other words. Diallage: Multiple arguments to establish a single point. Distinctio: Describing something by saying what it is not. Dubitatio: See Aporia. Dysphemism: Substituting a mild word with a stronger one. Dysrhythmia: Breaking of a rhythmic pattern. Dystmesis: Inserting one word into the middle of another. Ecphonesis: Short exclamation. Ellipsis: omission of words that would make a sentence explicit. Enallage: Substituting one item for another. Enjambment: Breaking a phrase at an odd point. Enumeratio: Breaking down and detailing a subject. Epanalepsis: Repeating the same phrase at start and end. Epanados: Repeating words in the reverse order. Epanorthosis: In-sentence correction. Epenthesis: Adding letters to the middle of a word. Epistrophe: Repetition of the same final word or phrase. Epitrope: Conceding in order to gain. Epizeuxis: Repetition of a word with vehemence. Erotema: Rhetorical question. Ethopoeia: Putting oneself in the position of another. Euche: Expressing emotion through prayer. Euphemism: Substituting offensive words with gentle ones. Eusystolism: Use of initials to avoid speaking harsh words. Exemplum: Using examples (real or fictitious). Exergasia: Restating a point in different words. Extraposition: Putting a subject at a later position than normal. Fictio: Attributing of human traits to creatures. Glossolalia: Fabricated, meaningless speech. Gradation: See Climax. Hendiadys: Two words, connected by conjunction. Heterosis: Changing the form of the verb. Homoioteleuton: similar endings in adjacent or parallel words. Homophone: Different words that sound the same. Hypallage: Reversing syntactical relationship. Hyperbaton: Separating words that belong together. Hyperbole: Deliberate over-exaggeration. Hypocatastasis: Implied comparison. Hypocorism: Use of pet names, diminutives, baby talk. Hypophora: see Anthypophora. Hypotaxis: Subordination of clauses to show relationships. Hypozeuxis: Every clause having its own subject and verb. Hysteron proteron: Reversing temporal sequence to put key things first. Illeism: Referring to oneself in the third person. Inclusio: Bracketing a passage with the same words. Innuendo: Oblique allusion. Irony: Saying something by using its opposite. Isocolon: Phrases with multiple similarities. Kenning: Replacing noun with circumlocutory mythologising. Kolakeia: Flattery to distract from unwanted elements. Litotes: Denying the contrary of what it being affirmed. Malapropism: replacing a word with one that sounds similar. Meiosis: Understatement for emphasis or effect. Merism: Combining words for meaning beyond normal combination. Merismos: Complete description or reference. Metalepsis: Referencing something through a weakly associated item. Metaphor: A is B. Using one thing to describe another. Metaplasmus: Deliberate misspelling. Metathesis: Rearranging letters in a word. Metonymy: Using one item to represent another. Narratio: Presenting essential facts. Nosism: Referring to oneself in the plural. Oeonismos: Expressing emotion through wishing or hoping. Optatio: Exclaiming a wish. Oxymoron: Adjacent words that seem to contradict one another. Parachesis: Repeating the same sound in successive words. Paradeigma: Listing examples to create generalization. Paradiastole: Portraying a vice as a virtue. Paradox: Seeming contradiction. Paraeneticon: Expressing emotion through exhortation. Paralipsis: Emphasis by obvious omission. Parallelism: Repeated patterns in a sentence. Paraprosdokian: Surprising ending. Parataxis: Successive independent clauses. Paregmenon: Repetition of words of the same root. Parenthesis: Nesting sentences. Parisology: Deliberate use of ambiguous words. Parison: Matching patterns across structures. Parisosis: Same number of syllables in a clause. Paroemion: Excessive alliteration. Paromoiosis. Similar sounds across two clauses. Paronomasia: Using similarly sounding words. Parrhesia: Boldness of speech. Periphrasis: Roundabout wording. Perissologia: Excessive use of words. Personification: Giving an object human characteristics. Pleonasm: Using unnecessary words. Ploce: Repetition of a word whilst varying specificity. Polyptoton: Repetition of a word in different forms. Polysyndeton: Repeating conjunctions. Polyptoton: Repetition in different forms. Praecisio: Not speaking to get over the message. Praegnans constructio: See Brachyology. Praeteritio: Mentioning something that is against the rules. Procatalepsis: Answering objections in advance. Prolepsis: Anticipation of action. Proparalepsis: Adding letters to the end of a word. Prosthesis: Prefixing letters to the beginning of a word. Proverb: An encapsulated and unquestioned wisdom. Psittacism: parrot-like repetition. Pun: A play on words. Repetitio: Repeating a single word. Rhyme: Repeating sounds at end of words. Scesis onamaton: Omitting the only verb. Sententia: Quoting wisdom to create truth. Simile: Explicit comparison between two things. Spoonerism: Interchange of initial letters of two words. Subreption: Phrasing words to misrepresent and concealing facts. Syllepsis: See Zeugma. Symploce: Simultaneous use of anaphora and epistrophe. Synaloepha: Omitting one vowel to combine two words. Synchysis: Confused arrangement of words. Syncope: Shortening word by omitting middle segment. Syndeton: Use of conjunctions. Synecdoche: Understanding one thing with another. Synesis: Unifying things. Synizesis: Successively sounded vowels. Synonymia: Repeating synonyms for amplification. Tapinosis: Downplaying and reducing something. ( aka Abasser) Tautology: Repeating meaning, unnecessarily. Tmesis: Inserting a word in the middle of another. Transumptio: See Metalepsis. Tricolon: Three components, increasing power. Zeugma: Two words linked to another, only one appropriately. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Fill Wallow you into the Lark Dyrics by Ceath Dab Cor Futie ! ( Spoonerism) So ... what a crap day yesterday was ..... I wouldn't be at all surprised if the Music Choice wasn't a Wet Wet Wet ditty. But .... there we were, " that dog" and me, out in the rain again, in the pitch dark, slightly irked,when way way way away I heard a "possible" male Tawny Owl. I've written about our "disappeared" Tawny Owls and how sad it all is .... not one has been seen or heard locally for (insert rough estimate later) months. But .... I wasn't sure ... it was v. faint and far away, and there were cars going by, youths making a racket etc ... but a few mins later it was Closer and Clearer and Countable !! Yo !!! That's Tricolon AND Alliteration !!! Readers ... I was chuffed.It turned a crap day into a cracking day. The dog didn't actually get a doughnut though. It was necessary for the alliteration.... we're "doing" figures of speech currently. Anyway, we haven't got any. And it would not be good for him. ...and now, Philipp Poisel ... " Heute hier, morgen dort" ... Here's yesterday's "bird description" again ... so I can show you what I did... it all kicks off with the title .... A feeble, rather uninteresting sort of description of a slightly mysterious bird, hardly worth reading really [Tapinosis: Downplaying and reducing something.] The "Unknown Birdlet" is not unlike a humungously massive Blackcap ... well, it is actually incredibly, unbelievably so totally not unlike one, you'd scarcely believe it it could be so very very not unlike it. Seriously. I'd stake my life on it. And the lives of my whole family. [Hyperbole: Deliberate over-exaggeration.]++[Distinctio: Describing something by saying what it is not.] Now, I'm not going to even mention the way that the cheeks and nape are the same colour as the crown, and I won't say a word about them being deep brownish black in the males, and as for the females, not even a hint about them being a lighter brown. Not a word. [Autoclesis: introducing an item by refusing to discuss it.] They also have a, let's call it a sort of whitish chin, with sort of, maybe, if you know what I mean,not worth mentioning really, white outer tail feathers. [Meiosis: Understatement for emphasis or effect.] It nests, breeds, reproduces in South-Western Europe, Luxembourg, and N.W.Africa. On not three, not four, but five occasions it has been met with, seen and closely observed in southern counties, down south, way down there. [Tricolon: Three components, increasing power. I came, I saw, I conquered ] But, if you can believe it , the first record, not that I necessarily give it much credence, was, well maybe, from Yorkshire ( very likely !) in 1848 .... oh yes, of course it was ??!! NOT ! [Aporia: Feigned doubt.] and/or [Tapinosis: Downplaying and reducing something.] An old bird wasn't found , and certainly not in 1905, having been brought back to life by not flying into a telegraph wire. [Distinctio: Describing something by saying what it is not.] Oh, how I remember so deeply, so deep in my soul, that it is 6" long, and oh, how harrowing it was when I discovered its wings were a tiny, upsetting 3.1 " ..and oh ! its tiny ,tiny Tarsus, well, I burst into tears when I learned that it was only 0.9". I think I'm going to cry. [Anamnesis: Emotional recall.] In each section I used different "figures of speech" ... as you can see. These are widely used in the literary world, or maybe they aren't, and also in everyday speech by ordinary, everyday unassuming people without realising it. And I'm not even going to mention their widespread use in advertising... or am I ? I've no idea. Who cares ? But there's an additional thing .... what species is being described ? If you've got a household crammed, overwhelmed and bursting with old, tatty, decrepit books,but I don't suppose you have, you'll probably have no chance of finding it in T.A. Coward's The Birds of the British Isles volume 1, 1961 edition, pages 198-199. Oh. how utterly lovely is that book, in its sweetikins shit-brown binding that I have caressed sensually many, many, many times over what now, looking back, seem like centuries.Not that it'll be worth reading when you've found it. I'll burst into tears in a minute just thinking about it. ..and here's the words video .... go on, sing along, it's beautiful .... Here's a rather odd description of some bird or other .... we'll call it the " Unknown Birdlet" The "Unknown Birdlet" is not unlike a humungously-massive Blackcap ... well, it is actually incredibly, unbelievably so totally not unlike one, you'd scarcely believe it it could be so very very not unlike it. Seriously. I'd stake my life on it. And the lives of my whole family. Now, I'm not going to even mention the way that the cheeks and nape are the same colour as the crown, and I won't say a word about them being deep brownish black in the males, and as for the females, not even a hint about them being a lighter brown. Not a word. They also have a, well, you know, let's call it a whitish chin, with sort of, maybe, if you know what I mean, and to be totally honest about it, white outer tail feathers. It nests, breeds, reproduces in South-Western Europe, Lorraine and N.W.Africa. On not three, not four, but five occasions it has been met with, seen and closely observed in southern counties, down there in the south, way way way down there. But, if you can believe it , the first record, not that I necessarily give it much credence, was, well maybe, from Yorkshire ( very likely !) in 1848 .... oh yes, of course it was ??!!Not ! An old bird wasn't found , and certainly not in 1905, having been brought back to life by not flying into a telegraph wire. Oh, how I remember so deeply,profoundly in my innermost soul, that it is 6" long, and oh, how harrowing it was when I discovered its wings were a tiny, upsetting 3.1 " ..and oh ! its tiny ,tiny Tarsus, well, I burst into tears when I learned that it was only 0.9". I think I'm going to cry just writing this sorry tale. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll tell you what's going on up there in the next post ..... I'm sure some of you, maybe all of you, will have a fair idea , a suspicion, an inkling...... and then there's the knotty issue of what that bird actually was. But meantime ... We all know only too well the various sorts of " dodgy listing scenarios" that go on in the wacky world of " ticking". I have had a particular "problem" with "getting" Kingfisher on my house list. But why, you ask . Well, there's always been Kingfishers within House-Ticking Distance from my dear abode. But so far, after many, many years it is still not on The House List. So what is the problem ? Well, to see the stretch of water frequented by said generations of Kingfishers, the only way, is to go up to the attic, where I am right now, stand on a pile of books or whatever, or buy some stilts, and lean out of the tiny window at an awkward 35 degrees from the vertical. This is not a comfortable method ...after about 10 minutes of it, everything hurts. Yes, everything. Plus, I'm holding binoculars up to my eyes at the same farcical angle. You'd think that over many years of doing this,even in those tortuous, twisty-twiny postures described earlier, I would have jammed in on it flying by, even if only for a fleeting, whooshing electric-blue second or so. BUT NO ! IT NEVER HAS !!! And here's another thing ... sometimes, when I'm walking by that watery expanse, a Kingfisher has gone by, and flown off NEAR MY HOUSE. But .... never in such a way that I could have seen it from the house. It could have just gone a bit to the left, or a bit higher ... but it never has. I could persuade myself that I might have seen it from the house ... but I would know it was a lie. But .... I do know that lots of birders do tend to bend the rules a bit when required...... and there are a remarkable number of ways it can be done. Here's a good'un ! I think I've written on here somewhere about that time we were all looking for "Rare Wader X" .. with no luck ... but someone scoped a tiny ,far-far-far-away-bird in the distance .. and thought it "might" be it. We could even see loads of scopes trained on it in the similarly-distanced hide just behind the Faraway-Bird. We "should" have trudged round there, but we didn't .... someone had a pager or a primitive sort of mobile and sent a message to someone he knew was over there, asking if "it" was indeed "it" ... and it was. Readers, we ticked it. And went home. It had been a long day. But .... really ... it was cheating. I felt bad about it afterwards. One day, I'll spot that KF .... a day of dreams ! Un Jour de Rêves ! Of crusoe, we've al sene arcitles ful of prgnint mikstaes hav we knot ? Cretilany ! And it can hanpep wiht dribs mosemites a swell . an axemple ..... a drib slit wittren by a dunkren wardbitcher ... srroy, unkrend wordbotcher .... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Grate Spine Soiltray Padsniper Hafwinch Gery Alphapore Duksy Shurth Ruttle Dove Snog Shurth Cork Tubning Cirb Tinlung Breaded Tit Hut-chant Bamblering Toilarsy Danserpip Wreckny Beetld Shrinkifeg` I thnik he was tatolyl spised wen e scerbilbd it. Barklereamy dogo ! |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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