There's doesn't seem to be a " Miss Clever" so I had to go with Madame Géniale. There's been a hell of a hoo-hah about exam results these last few days. And in the papers there's been lots of huge photos of hordes attractive girls celebrating their results,dressed up to the nines, and a few tiny photos of lone, badly dressed males sitting gloomily on their own, looking glumly at their results. That, dear readers, is the Way of the World. Well .. way back ( posts 514 and 516) I showed you lucky readers how the "exam system" could be manipulated so that any old fart could do well without too much effort. And amazingly, here are those two harticles .... Here's a "leaked" STQC exam paper .... nowadays you can't just let any old riff-raff into this top organisation you know....and this will sort the Wheatear from the Chiffchaff, and no mistake ! The good news is, you only have to answer 5 of the 8 questions .... you choose ! [a] Describe three ways in which bird-watching is similar to trainspotting, and three ways in which it isn't. [b] Birds have "scientific names" as you no doubt know. Match up the first bit with the correct second bit .... Puffinus crex Crex vanellus Perdix troglodytes Troglodytes puffinus Vanellus perdix [c] My favourite bird is the .................................... [d] Here's some jumbled-up bird names.... please put them right ... [1 ] tonK ....................... [2] Wern ...................... [3] otCo ...................... [4] okoR ..................... [5] worC ..................... [e] Which one of these is top birder S. Vere Benson's nickname ? [a] Droopy-drawers [b] Fat-arse [c] Severe Benson [d] Donkey-face [e] Grumpy-guts [f] Here's 5 of the famous " Scilly Isles" ...which one has the fewest letters .. [a] Bryher [b] St. Martins [c] St. Agnes [d] Tresco [e] Gugh [g] Here's a list of several different types of bird- spotter. Which one is the best ? † Twitcher Bird-spotter Birder Dude Ornithologist Bird-watcher [h] If you move all the letters of STQC down 1 place in the alphabet, what do you get ? Now try moving the letters of STQC up one place. Write down your answers. Well, I hope you've made wise choices to ensure your entry into the UK's best bird-lover's , er, society. But don't worry too much, because everybody passes the exam anyway. We need those subscriptions to keep pouring in. That way, we can carry on with all our good works, such as giving work experience to hordes of remarkably attractive,young, female interns and clapped-out old gaffers well past their sell-by date, not to mention safeguarding the "careers" of hundreds and hundreds of people who spend their whole time at their "terminals" persuading more people to buy over-priced peanut feeders. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now ...here's another Take" on the rotten-to-the-core Exam system .... Well well! This morning we got the astonishing and surprising(?)(not!) news that somebody has, for the 3rd year running, leaked some of the questions for an A level maths exam! And the answers as well. I find this deeply disappointing. You see, I would like to think that all those maths students would be "doing" maths because they liked doing maths. After all, they had a choice. They could have done Geography ( Geography is going places) or Art ( Easel'y mastered) or History ( A thing of the past) or even General Studies ( er?)... But they chose Maths. But apparently, some of them don't actually want to "do" it. But they DO want to pass the exam. Because ...er ..... they want to go to University. And the University accepts them because they have shown that they are good at it. But if they have simply copied the answers for £70, they might well not be. But strangely, a huge proportion of those students seem to get A's these days. Something doesn't seem right there. I don't think people have got any brighter over the last 30 years. You can't help wondering if that might be the cause of a lot of this "stress" that, it seems, vast numbers of students now suffer from when they realise that their study skills are not up to the pressure of doing difficult stuff. but hold on a minute ..... BUT WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH BIRD-SPOTTING ? Well, for a start, we set ourselves "exams" all the time. We're out there ID-ing dinky dodgers 3 miles up going "squeeeeee" or "twink" as a matter of course. Of course. Other utterances are available. Every day, every minute, we're being tested by the very subject matter we are involved with... ...elusive hoodwinks deep inside bushes .... raptors flying 2000 metres above us and 4 miles away .... warblers which sound very much like other warblers warbling..... a long-tailed tit/bearded tit "hybrid" that we'd love to think was a penduline tit, 749 metres away and 4 feet inside a reedbed. A flock of 11 skuas whizzing 30 cm above the windswept waves banking and shearing about 80 miles away in a force 8 whoosher at 6 am. We've all been there. That's what we do .... because, oddly enough, we BLOODY WELL WANT TO. And on top of that, there have been suggestions of actual " Birding Exams" set by Top Birders .... although I suspect that each "organisation" will have their own style ... oh yes. ( That's an idea and a ½ ... I'll get writing a "sample paper" for each one.) And as my loyal readers will know, I have leaked (after the actual exam of course) an actual " Flintshire Bird Club" exam. I did it to "reveal" a certain "hint" of "dumbing down" ...... here, if I can find it, is the link to it .... aha ...here it is ..... 190-a-leaked-flintshire-bird-club-exam-paper.html ..and this is why I leaked it .... -190-flintshire-bid-clubs-latest-exam-results.html But ..... what about the current " exam disaster" that is rapidly unravelling in front of us ? Well, us teachers ( like I used to be) know what's been going on over the last 10, 20, 30 years. And more. For a start, teachers often give their students rather better " estimated grades" than those students are likely to get. I know the various reasons why they do it .... but if I put in into print I'd probably get shot, or get buried alive in a shallow grave. And I don't think anybody is going "tell" either. So much for the Free Press. On top of that, there seems to be no realisation in the system that some subjects are much tougher than others. I'm not going to say which ... but you'll know. And then there's the historical background. Before Ofsted ( bloody Ofsted) got involved, many teachers, including many of mine, didn't care how well or badly their pupils did. Some of my teachers even told us they wanted some of us to fail, and that it " served us right". And most of them couldn't teach a cow to moo. Because there was no comeback ... failure was another stick to beat us with, in addition to the actual sticks. And then there's the "grade inflation" that's been going on for years.... so much so, that the system is becoming unsustainable ..... and once at University, more that half of all students are getting firsts. And that's within the context where around half of the cohort are going to University. Just think about that. Half of all pupils are going to University. Some sort of madness has gripped this land. And it's all about MONEY. Universities want their MONEY. ..and now, some illiterate nits can't even spell Lizard correctly ....
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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