For a start, there's no known picture of "Mr. G" .... but I'm told that one of the people in the picture below looks uncannily like him ... but nobody knows which one. He's a mysterious kind of guy ... even down to the name. What his "real" name is, nobody knows. I think we all know a few eccentrics within our birding circle. And without actually. "Mr. G" is one such. He's already got a mention in that Welsh twitch thing I wrote about ... and come to think of it, I haven't done the other half of it yet. I've known him for ages, we've gone on all sorts of birding expeditions together, near and far .. sometimes both at the same time. I still don't know his "real" name, after all this time. Nobody does, as far as I know. He's always been " Mr. G." For a start, he's the only person I know who's gone into a shop near closing time and got himself locked in for the night !! The only birds he could see all night were those Pied Wags roosting in that tree up at the top there. Every time he counted them he got a different answer. I'll tell you what though, that's a brilliant strategy if you're homeless... you could "do" it in a different shop every night ..for ever. He's called his house "Wetfield" ... I mean, that's not a good selling point is it ! But he likes it. He says it's to attract waders for his house list. And here's another thing .... he's bought a huge metal spiral staircase ...and he's attached it to the side of his house .... but when you go up it, there's no door at the top. It's a dead end. My theory is, he's done it to ward off burglers and other miscreants. They go up it, feel around for the non-existent secret panel that opens the non-existent door, and after an hour or two they'll give up and go home. Neat !! He says it's so he can watch birds from it. Yeah, right. Obviously. He also specialises in strange encounters. One one famous occasion, he was driving along and got overtaken and flagged down by two dodgy Ruusian characters who offered to buy his car for £500 quid. So ...he said yes !! They followed him home, and the transaction took place ! Very odd. I think that was the same car that he tried to flog to a policeman. He was just giving the sales talk about how reliable and well-kept it was, when the policeman put his hand on the bonnet and it went right through it amidst a cloud of rust and paint. Hmmmm. No sale I suspect. His most notorious incident was when he got to work one day ...nobody knows what he does by the way ... I believe that a lot of "colouring-in" is involved ... and remembered he had forgotten a vital thing. So , he whizzed home, got the vital thing, filled up with petrol and got back to work, only missing out one important thing ... he hadn't paid for the petrol. Sure enough, the police turned up and carted him off to the nick. He got away with it though. They couldn't work out who he was either. But what about a birding one ? Well, there he was up in the far north of Scotland with his family ...and there had been some R C Starlings about. Keen to latch on to one, he told his family to look out for them while he nipped off for a mo.... Sure enough, when he came back, they'd seen one all right. Yes, one of them had it in their hand. It was thoroughly dead, having been hit by a motorbike a few moments before his return. Oh dear !! Your entire family tick RCS before you !! There's lots more ..but for now, we'll finish with his totally illogical hatred of Peter Hamill.... so to ensure that he won't read this, I'll put one of his songs on here .... I think his hatred for PH might have happened after the "stuck in the shop" incident .... this song really hurt after that.... so here's " Been Alone so Long" ... Been alone so long
That I've forgotten what it's like To feel somebody next to me And hear her breathing peacefully When I wake up at night Been alone so long That I've forgotten what to say - If I meet somebody who Might easily resemble you I smile, but look away... I look away Been alone so long That I've forgotten what to do: How to make the whole thing right And how to help if she's uptight And when to run and when to fight... How to make her stay the night - That's if I ever knew Been alone so long That I've forgotten what it's like To feel somebody next to me And hear her breathing peacefully When I wake up at night Wake up at night
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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