Before you go any further, here is one of William Topaz McGonagall's truly awful , and therefore famous, poems ... you might as well hear what you're in for .... but the good news is, the "poem", if you can call it that, stops after 3 minutes, thank the Lord ...... more sensitive readers should probably just skip it and go on to the sensible stuff underneath ! Here's a poem I found tucked inside an old copy of " Scilly Saunters" ....... surely it must have been written either by the "poet" Mcgonagall himself or by a clever imitator. But who would do such a thing ? This afternoon I met The King of Bryher and yes ... it is the truth ...I'm not a liar. He wore a crown engraved " The King of Bryher" so there was no need at all at all for me to inquire and throughout the sultry afternoon I called him " sire." Oh how I wish I was The King of Bryher in that role I would never retire from being the The King of Bryher and there's only one way to be The King of Bryher. Your "Bryher list" must be remarkably higher which can take a considerable time to acquire. But to be The King of Bryher is rather grand for Bryher is indeed a lovely land surrounded by the sea on every hand as islands are, as all must understand. He rules the isle, its rocks, its birds, its sand, its hedgerows, outcrops, hilltops, hillocks and some do compare it to fair Samarkand which is truly a remarkable and distant foreign land and undoubtedly surrounded by considerable hinterland. And when I am The King of Bryher when I pass by, the people will inquire who is that man who wears the princely crown ? Surely a man of worldwide reknown who will forever wear his kingly crown till Bryher's sea uprises, whence he'll drown. And on his gravestone, from rock of Bryher made his list of Bryher ticks will be displayed and he, interred beneath with knightly crown flesh gone to dust, resembles most a clown ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wish I'd written that... but maybe when its true provenance is affirmed as the work of William Topaz McGonagall himself, I will be acclaimed as its discoverer. And probably earn a few quid on chat shows with that Lauren Laverne and actually I reckon much much more I might be able to earn what with her and that other one, is her name Fern ? .. and what about The Antiques Roadshow ? That can't be bad. ... and here's the Pythons taking the piss ! Surely they can't be parodying the wonderful McGonagall himself ? Anyway, here's an entirely unrelated but funny Python Piss-take ... ..and here's the "must-have" books ...
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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