You might well remember my shocking revelation that the RSPB, when moved a mere 2 places up the alphabet, turns into a TURD !! In case you are not familiar with the mysterious workings of the alphabet ... RSPB STQC TURD You've got to laugh I suppose. The Merseyside Naturalist's Association doesn't do so well either .... in one simple single shimmy up the alphabet it turns into ... MNA NOB How lovely !! But my regular readers know all about them.... but I wanted more ! So, I've made a sort of machine that works them out for me. It has a database of loads of birding-related organisations, and it zooms them up and down the alphabet and shows me the "good" ones. It's been trundling away all night, and here's a few juicy ones it has turned up .... There's the Tewkesbury Institute Ringing Group ... a worthy bunch of ornithologists I'm sure .... but all you have to do is shunt TIRG up the alphabet a mere 9 places up ..... and .... TIRG UJSH VKTI WLUJ XMVK YNWL ZOXM APYN BQZO CRAP Yes ... it all turns to CRAP after 9 shunts !! But what about those poor old Dawlish Warren Ornithologists ? Oh dear !! Let's move them 2 places down the alphabet shall we ..... you can probably work it out in your head actually ... DWO CVN BUM Yes .. BUM .... simple pleasures ! Next up ... RATHLIN ISLAND BIRDING UNION .... 12 up does the trick .... RIBU SJCV TKDW ULEX VMFY WNGZ XOHA YPIB ZQJC ARKD BSLE CTMF DUNG Yep! From a venerable and worthy group of birders to a heap of DUNG in 12 easy steps !! Via such gems as VMFY , ULEX, ARKD and the rest obviously. What about the long-established Avon Valley Migration Observers ? Well, what about them? Just try moving them 5 letters up the alphabet. Go on. That'll put the wind up them !!! And the machine's just this minute spat out a result for the worthy North Clyde Valley Birders ..... try shunting that 5 letters up ... not only does it give you a bird, it's a bird with an unfortunate alternative connotation! Of course, it's not just birders that overlook these gaffes .... there's the Royal Gardens Horticultural Society ... they're a group of volunteers who give their time to tending various royal gardens .... but they're only one jump away from .... well you can work that out yourselves. Thinking about it, it might be deliberate you know ... they must use a lot of it in their line of work! Back to us orthingistilogs .... sorrigothilongs ....thongistogls..nothingrogls... ornithologists .... cripes, it's starting to spread all over the place ... why I've chosen this song to go with all that stuff I don't know .... Primal Scream ... "Movin' On Up" ... I should call that machine of mine Florence, then we could have a song from Florence and the Machine ! We'll see. By the way, here's a warning to the faint-hearted and people of a nervous disposition, like me. Whatever you do, don't go trying this with the Death Valley Ornithologist's Union . You've been told, so you've no excuse. Footnote 1 ... Bird of the Day .. several candidates, but I'm going for the 200+ Pinkfeet that flew v high North over the house at midday. Evocative. Redolent.That sort of thing. Footnote 2 .. the machine is still pouring out more and more ... Shut up for a minute Florence !! Footnote 3 ... as you've maybe noticed, I'm cleverly planning to hit the 300th post exactly 9 months to the day since this mad blog started. I'm a crafty old Hector . I bet you have tried that Death Valley thing. Well, I did warn you.
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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