I can't remember having drawn this ... but I did. Very festive ! Apparently Christmas is on the way. In the pipeline. Looming up. And ...... all the big bird organisations are getting their Xmas catalogues ready, packed with seasonal, er, tripe. But this morning, as I woke up to the cataclysmic din of our alarm clock, I thought of the ideal thing for us birders, or whatever we're calling ourselves this week. I've been on the net already, and they're all dead keen on the idea, there's a bidding war going on right now as I write this, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if I wasn't a millionaire by Boxing Day. I can tell you about it now, because I've already copyrighted the whole scheme via the internet. I've got both of these ... © ® so there. Right ... I've invented an alarm clock that doesn't do BOOM BANG CRASH BEEP BEEP like all the others. No. It starts off with a little warbling bird, then a slightly louder warbling thing, then ..well, you get the idea .... and finishing up with a huge flock of deafening BIRDS which frighten the life out of you. That's the way us birders should be woken from our slumbers. It's obvious. The BTO's clock will have the sort of birds that get surveyed and graphed like Blackbirds,Thrushes and Orioles. Note the quiet start and the final racket ! The RSPB version will have cuddly birds that complete drips will know about like Robins, Song Thrushes, Pied Wagtails and Blackbirds and they'll probably need a bit of gradual amplification. The one for the 400 Club ( if it still exists) is going to feature rarities of course .... Cream-Coloured Coursers, Canvasbacks, Cedar Waxwings, Lammergeiers, Upland sandpipers and Bobolinks .. as usual, getting louder and louder. Flintshire Bird Club is going for Firecrest, Bonxie and Cormorant. The World Wildlife Trust has chosen Willow Warbler, Willet and Thayer's Gull. You might be wondering how this could have been done so quickly ... well, it's all chips isn't it.... these clocks are going to have a custom-programmed chip in them to suit each customer's requirements. They just phone in their required species and the computer will do the rest. We all know how reliable computers are at understambling wht wee tel thm....... They assure me that this will ensure error-free results. They exhume my hat while issuing terror-free insults. The fumes might wish you terrible free uncles. They loom nightly with terrific knuckles. The loony nitwit effing chuckles. I can't see any issues there. all will be well, and all manner of things shall be well. Order now for complete stupefaction . I ordered this music through the net ... I wanted Master Jack and his lovely. positive song, "Be Good" and here it is ... Actually, there's some nifty "tick celebration" moves there.
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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