Whilst I was busy rummaging through various heaps of books, cupboards full of books and big stacks of books in search of books for that 12" Birding Bookshelf ( see recent posts) I found other books. Yes. One thing I found was an ancient copy of The Griffon, my old school magazine. That's my old school, up there. Packed with a nasty lot of teachers, most of whom couldn't teach a pig to shit. And in that magazine were two (2) things by ME. I'm only going to inflict all of them on you poor souls. And one thing is obvious .. .. I haven't changed much .. not mentally anyway. As you are about to see. It's not about birds, but it is about Science, which is all part of the same thing. Here we go, unabridged and just as gormless as it was back in , er, oh dear, 19??. Ouch. AN EXPERIMENT DURING THE HOLIDAYS During the holidays a group of enterprising schoolboys decided to find the volume of the school. After consulting our Physics text books we set to work. First we shut all the windows and doors, and filled the school with water.We then weighed it. We then filled the school with Physics masters and weighed it again. ( A slight snag was encountered here.Before putting in the Physics masters, one should remember to empty out the water).We then washed and dried the Physics masters and heated them over a bunsen burner.We observed carefully the increasing violence of their reactions.All was ready for the final calculation. To find the volume,we took the weight of the school and water, and we divided it by the number of Physics masters which will fit into a telephone kiosk at 525°C. ( This turned out to be 3½, which was rather unfortunate for the ½).Unfortunately the results of this experiment were confiscated by a member of the police force who had swum up Kingsway, after we had opened the door to release the water.They will ,however, be published when my fellow experimenters return from the holiday which they are at present spending with a certain regal personage at whose pleasure they were detained indefinitely. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here's another one of mine .... much shorter, you'll be glad to hear. It is based on one of the more obscure theorems of Pythagoras. Very popular in exams ... to try to stump the poor pupils. THE EXTENSION OF PYTHAGORAS Pythagoras was extended while fishing one day. He put one foot in his boat, which moved away from the bank, and his other foot. This unfortunate event extended Pythagoras to such an extent that he made a theorem about it :- The square foot on the side of the bank is equal to the hydro deluge caused by the projection of the apex into the water. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And now .. Roy Harper ... "One of those days in England ( with a sword in every pond)"
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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