I've had quite a few birding-related problems coming in lately. So I thought it was time to actually sort a few of them out, seeing as all is pretty quiet out there. Right then ... here's a "problem" sent in by a reader ... we'll call her Violet ... why not . Mind you, it's a tricky one .... and not suitable for my younger readers. Dear Mini-Birding Problem Solver ( I like the sound of that)... Since my husband took up birdwatching a year ago, things have gone a bit odd. Well, there are good sides to it, he's out a lot of the time, going out early, getting back late, which is good. However, one thing is, he's started using birding vocabulary around the house ,,, well, around me actually. It all started when he started calling my breasts "bins." I wondered what he was on about at first,but he explained that bins=binoculars and they are a "pair" that "stick out" and that he really loves handling and twisting them .... that was his excuse anyway. It's a bit odd though isn't it ? So I learned to put up with that, and of course being out of the house so much, and being knackered when he got back, he didn't need to use that word all that often. But then things escalated. I don't quite know how to put this ...but I'll have to come straight out with it. He started to refer to my ,er, you know, as "The South Hide". And that's not all ! After he'd got away with that a few times ... He started calling my mouth " The North Hide." He did explain why, but it's fairly unrepeatable . And as his "visits to the South Hide" came to their, er, ultimate, um, peak, he would shout out " it's a Gripper !" at the top of his voice. I can't think how to tell you what happens at the North Hide. I'm speechless . He tells me it's a compliment. I'm sure the neighbours are a bit puzzled by it all. Well, so am I. And I don't dare to think what the next development will be !! What can I do? The Mini-Birding Problem Solver Replies .... This is, you will be pleased to hear, a common problem. My father was a plumber and he would use his work vocabulary when ,er, on the job, quite often. I don't think I need to give you any actual examples, but it's enough to say that I got a pretty thorough idea about the processes that brought me into the world just by hearing my father's exclamations through the (rather thin) wall . So, I think that your husband's transference of his vocabulary from one field of enjoyment to another is certainly normal, probably healthy, and as far as I can tell from your examples, flattering. Hides, whatever their orientation, are cosy, secret places where wonderful and pleasurable things happen. And binoculars bring things closer, do they not ? Much much closer. So ... go with it! And if I were you, I'd start bringing a few knitting terms into the mix ... " knit two together" comes to mind,and " twist tightly" and " check length using scale provided" ... then there's cooking terms such as " knead gently till firm" and " bring to the boil gradually." You'll feel empowered again. Sorted !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you have any birding-related problems, don't hesitate to send them in to... [email protected] After all, running a Seaside Bar like I do, I hear all sorts of problems, so I'm used to it. I know this has been on here before, but it seems appropriate somehow .... this is entirely different, but equally beautiful version of "Such Great Heights". After reading this post, whenever you go into a North or South hide, you're going to remember this ! Oh yes you are !!
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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