Hah ! That one hasn't got any curtains... what a loser !! Exactly 21 years ago today my red Vauxhaul Chevette collapsed for good (a strange expression don't you think ?) on the M6. It had Irish number plates so that on our frequent visits to Belfast it didn't get bricked . Those were the days ,eh ! But ... it wasn't just that. No. There was a Barred Warbler in Blackpool. And I was young and twitchy ! No laughing at the back ! By the way ... I've never understood why it's just the ones at the back that shouldn't laugh. Surely it's much worse if the ones at the front are laughing. So I jumped into said red Chevette with the "anti-bricking" Irish number plates and whooshed Blackpoolwards ultra-sharpish, using its specially-fitted "twitch-gears" for extra speed. Mind you, it didn't do anything "sharpish", that car. It was far too heavy for its engine.. or to put it another way, its engine wasn't powerful enough for such a hefty car. Probably both. Luckily there weren't any "slopes" on the way there, because it didn't like slopes. Little did the car know that it would be its final day in car-land. I didn't know then that exactly 9 years to the day after "getting" the Barred Warbler, I would spot my 2nd Common Crane. Yes. Mind you, Common Crane is on my House List now ! Oh yes !!! I can tell you're impressed. Even I'm impressed. And yes, I did see the Barred Warbler .... a fine specimen it was too. By then I had a proper telescope ... not that upside-downy-thing. You can find out about the upside-downy thing here ... 208-my-first-telescope.html Everyone was there ... me, obviously, Stumpy, Stodgy probably, Tubs, yes, he of "Dusky Warbler" fame, "Mr. G", whoever he really is, Curly, Stinky, and loads of others I didn't know. The Mozzer, obviously. So ... I motored home, disengaging the "twitch-gears" to save petrol. But ... oh dear oh dear ... at a now-famous spot on the M6 my lovely red Chevette collapsed and died, huffing and puffing its final 50 metres onto the hard shoulder. Bah ! And being young (ish) and male, I was way down in the "rescuing" pecking-order and had to wait hours. Luckily I had my in-car copy of "Dolenni Hud" to read, and I can recommend it to all and sundry as a great way to spend a stationary 3hrs 45 mins on the M6..... Order your copy now ! While stocks last. The car, obviously, went to the Big Garage in the Sky. Or, if you like, Y Modurdy Mawr yn yr Wybren. Modurdy is really Modur ( motor) + Tŷ ( house) Why has the "T" of Tŷ turned into a "d", you're wondering ? We won't go into all that now. Life's difficult enough as it is. But ...here's the odd thing. When I thought about writing this "Dead Chevette" thing, I thought that it happened when I was coming back from spotting "the" Red-Footed Falcon. Also in Blackpool. You can understand the possible confusion. Maybe I was. But not according to what I like to think of as my bird-spotting notes. And on the plus side, I got a Gold Chevette after that ! Ha ! Today's Music Selection is very close to being "appropriate " ... it's Prince with " Little Red Corvette" ........ .. I said " very close" because I don't think the song actually about a car at all.... I guess I should of known By the way you parked your car sideways That it wouldn't last See you're the kinda person That believes in makin' out once Love 'em and leave 'em fast I guess I must be dumb 'Cause you had a pocket full of horses Trojan and some of them used But it was Saturday night I guess that makes it all right And you say what have I got to lose? And honey I say Little red Corvette Baby you're much too fast Little red Corvette You need a love that's gonna last I guess I should of closed my eyes When you drove me to the place Where your horses run free 'Cause I felt a little ill When I saw all the pictures Of the jockeys that were there before me Believe it or not I started to worry I wondered if I had enough class But it was Saturday night I guess that makes it all right And you say, "Baby, have you got enough gas?" Oh yeah Little red Corvette Baby you're much to fast, yes you are Little red Corvette You need to find a love that's gonna last, ah huh A body like yours (A body like yours) Oughta be in jail (Oughta be in jail) 'Cause it's on the verge of bein' obscene ('Cause it's on the verge of bein' obscene) Move over baby (Move over baby) Gimme the keys (Gimme the keys) I'm gonna try to tame your little red love machine (I'm gonna try to tame your little red love machine) Little red Corvette Baby you're much to fast Little red Corvette You need to find a love that's gonna last Little red Corvette Honey you got to slow down (Got to slow down) Little red Corvette 'Cause if you don't you gonna run your Little red Corvette right in the ground Right down to the ground (Honey you got to slow down) you, you, you got to Slow down (Little red Corvette) you're movin' much too fast (Too fast) you need to find a love that's gonna last Girl, you got an ass like I never seen And the ride, I say the ride is so smooth You must be a limousine Baby you're much to fast Little red Corvette You need a love, you need a love that's That's gonna last (Little red Corvette) Babe you got to slow down (you got to slow down) Little red Corvette 'Cause if you don't, 'cause if you don't, You gonna run your body right into the ground (Right into the ground) Right into the ground (Right into the ground) Right into the ground (Right into the ground) Little red Corvette Songwriters: Prince Rogers Nelson Look what's happened to the words ...could it be, er, a message from the grave. Maybe he's sort of telling us he's "going over to the other side ?? Oo-er !
Maybe he's found my old car up there and is driving it around. Are there any cars in the bible ? I think Moses might have burned up the desert in his Triumph.
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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