Since I wrote about "cheating" in the world of listing, there's been repercussions. Oh yes. One particularly pernicious swindle in the fiercely-contested "Day Listing" category is this business of "assuming" that you've seen all the common stuff before you even start. That frees up a lot of time so that you can concentrate on the tougher-to-find stuff. But we all know, don't we, that often we find ourselves at the end of a "big day" or "big hour" and we haven't actually seen a Wren, or a Pied Wagtail, or a House Sparrow, or any of a long litany of " trash birds" as some would call them. But we've ticked them off anyway. Well, that's all coming to a shuddering standstill now ! Hah !! Gadzooks !! From the end of this month, all "Big Anythings" will have to have full documentary evidence of every species seen, with photographs of each claimed species including local identifiable landmarks, the day's newspapers prominently displayed in the background ( a member of the team will be designated for this task) (lucky them) and at the end of the allotted time period each member of the team will need to write a full account of the events and sightings of the day separately from the others, which will then be scrutinised by a trained team of scrutinisers who will scrutinise their accounts for anomalies, lies, fictional events and dodgy behaviours. That's why they're called Scrutinisers. They Scrutinise. So ... you lot out there .... you're not going to get away with 'owt from now on. No more will Swindling Hornswogglers get into "Birding Universe" with their 143 day-list in Milton Keynes, there'll be no more"Top Day Lists" in the already dodgy " Northdorshampsouthfolkshire Birding Newsheet" all of which will have been kicked into the long grass by the aforementioned "Scrutinisers". And that's all down to me. Yes, me ! It's about time all those bird-spotting types got kicked into shape. Mendacious drips, the lot of them. That Robert Smith .. he used to do a lot of those Big Days .... but it was such hard work ,he had to take a few "in-between days ".... and he wrote a song about them... Well, Robert, it'll be a lot harder work now !!
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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