I think this is one of my duffest drawings ever. It's a tough race,there's loads of competition. but I think this one wins it. In my defence, it's done in one of those tiny policemen's notebooks .. it's not the policemen who are tiny by the way. The book. I've nothing against tiny policemen. There's loads of things they could do that the big ones couldn't. There should be a special squad of them to get under doors and get down chimneys and hide in criminals' pockets so they can hear what they're up to. Think of all the possibilities. It was my idea by the way, but I'll let the authorities have it free of charge. Hang on ... I've wandered off the point a bit .... And it's quite hard to keep the dinky book ( not the policeman) steady when you're drawing on it. Quite a few years ago I took part in a "First to 50" bird race. It was a bit of an experiment really. It's pretty obvious what it's about. You all meet up at the start. Someone says "Go!" And you rush about spotting birds, and see how long it takes you to get to 50. Species, that is. Then you rush back to the referee with your list . Then you laugh at the others who arrive later than you. Then you all hoof it back to the Grumbling Stumps Luxury Diner. And talk and argue about it. What reminded me of that, was the swimming on the news this morning. Some musclebound bloke had won a 100m swim. And he was looking forward to winning the 50m swim on the next day. And I thought ... that's all a bit silly. How far does it go ? Is he going to do a 20m race next. And then a 10m race ? Why not 137m ? Or 235.6 m ? Or 3.726m ? It's just a way of letting them get loads of medals. And when you look at some sports, like cycling and sailing there's billions of different sorts of race they can do ... it's not fair. There's so many chances to get medals. But those poor old hammer-throwers, they've only got 1 chance to win a medal. And the javelinists. And the high-jumpers. So ...back to bird racing .... a "first to 10 species" would be farcical . Even more so ... first to 3 . I managed that before I'd got out of bed this morning. At the other extreme, first to 400.. or 4000 . Crumbs. That First to 50 race ... that was good. Not too long ... didn't wear us out or swallow up hours and hours. The prize was the fun that was had and kudos of winning. That was all. Fun. But maybe it would be better to "do" 60 ... or... well, what would be the optimum? It would depend on the place you were doing it in. And whether it was motorised or on foot. And the time of year. We were on foot. Two feet actually. Anyway, I came 3rd. That was OK. But what I do know is ...for whatever reason, there wasn't another one. If you've taken part in such a thing, and have 'owt to say about, please let me know ... my email is, amazingly ..... [email protected] So there. And now, the music. By now, I'm sure, you are all top fans of Death Cab for Cutie, and have got all their stuff ...but here's "I Will Possess your Heart" anyway....
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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