I mentioned ages ago that amongst my many birding experiences, one of the most thrilling was the one and only time I've been chucked out of a Bird Reserve. Well, it wasn't a big one .... just a place where I went ringing and mothing ...along with a few other like-minded sadcakes like myself. So that particular morning there were three of us .. one was one of the many "Tubs", the other one was Shirty ...he always wore loud shirts ... and me. We had got there before the crack of dawn, we had done the moths, we had set up all the nets, and briefly, just for a moment, all three of us were at the ringing hut steps. At that moment the Boss arrived, got out of car and we were all hoping for a spot of praise for all our hard work, early arrival etc. But no! T'was not to be. He immediately laid into us poor, cold, tired souls .... apparently we had suddenly become a "lazy, useless, clueless bunch of idiots" ... not only that, but he informed us that " we wouldn't be allowed on most reserves" and told us to get out. He might have used a more robust way of saying that. So, dear reader, we all left the place forthwith ! Off we went, as instructed.Tubs, Shirty and me. It was all quite funny really, in a surreal sort of way. So .... for a couple of days we all had a nice rest. It was quite enjoyable really. Then I got a phone call from the Boss. He explained that it wasn't ME he meant .. it was the other two. And strangely, the other two had got exactly the same phone calls ... each having been told the same thing.It wasn't THEM he meant. It was the other two.Now that's a bit underhand. That was more or less the end of my time there .... I handed in my ringing equipment .... I no longer had a use for it... and I've never been there since. It's one of those "places I don't go." And to this day, none of us has any idea why on earth he laid into us like that. And then rang us all up only to tell us a pack of lies. But ... hey-ho. Experience is cheap at any price, or so we are told. And I still think it's quite funny. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know you've been missing those Welsh songs ... so here's the excellent Yws Gwynedd ... " Neb ar ôl"
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Here's a bit more about how I tried to draw birds a bit less badly. Bear in mind though that I'm still a relative twit at it. Some would say that was an exaggeration. Some would say a complete twit. But I'm a lot better than I was. That's enough for me. One way of improving your "not-side-on-but-at-an-angle-instead" drawings is by putting boxes round them... it can be pretty rough when you first try it .... I've used sort of curved meshes to form the heads too. Here I've used different-sized boxes for the head and the bill .. god only knows what I was doing with that thing at the bottom right ... I've gone mad here and got the head pointing away ! Bold !! The neck's crap though. You can do it with wings too .... though I've not done too well with this set of attempts .... why I've drawn what seems to be a train along the bottom I cannot explain. It was all along time ago when I was young and frivolous ! With this one ( no laughing at the back) I used pencil boxes and drew the birds in ink, then I rubbed the boxes out ! Cunning. I did promise you a bit of a laugh at my expense last time, so here's a duff selection ...a whole page where I got more or less everything wrong. There's some sad-looking beggars in that lot. some evolutionary dead ends all right. There's plenty more of that sort of thing, but I haven't found it all yet. There's a famous saying in the chess world... we'll change it slightly.. " On an empty page, all the mistakes are there, just waiting to be made." But can my readers ( Arthur and Maud Crumbleshanks, 25 Inkerman Terrace, Barnsley) stand it any more ? The only solution is ... sweet music ! Huw M .... "House by the Sea"..... live as can be ! When I started trying (oh, it was trying all right) to draw birds, I needed to find out why I wasn't very good at it... or drawing anything for that matter. So ... I thought ... is it simply that I can't make the pen do the things I want it to do ? ..a sort of "lack of control". So I decided to try to copy "good" bird drawings and photographs ... that way, I couldn't blame the birds for moving about, or being miles away etc, and I couldn't blame the lack of detail, I couldn't blame the cold or the rain or... anything, really, except my control of the pen ! That's one of of "copies" up there ... from a photograph in "Birding World" .. and here's another .... this one's my version of a Short-toed Lark ... it was from British Birds, Nov '85 ... I can't remember whether it was a photo or a drawing ... Doing that was quite helpful and encouraging .... I could, reasonably, " make the marks"" and finish up with something fairly like the original. Mind you, you'll have noticed that those are both "side-on" drawings. They're the easiest. Also, you'll have noticed I haven't shown you any of my early "crap" drawings ... they'd obviously be a lot more entertaining ! It would be quite a good idea actually ... I'll look for some and put them on here... even if only so that you can all have a laugh.... in these depressing times, what could be better ? Also, it's fair to say that The Significant Otter has maintained a "dignified silence" about my drawings .... I think I know what that means. It's not good. And following the theme of "how is it done" .. how do you reckon this was done ? I know, 'cos ... well, I learned about this trick years ago ..... He's not The Big Three ... but he might be looking for them. ... It seems like 438 years since I told you about my very own personalised me-only way to determine the exact time when "things" got going ... that is, goodbyewinterandmostofspring, hello therestofspringandthestartofsummer ... " You get House Martin, Swallow and Swift in the same binocular field of view " It's taken me until today to manage it this year ... miles later than ever before. It's mainly because it's taken ages for any decent numbers of Swallows to arrive. Even now there aren't anything like the usual numbers, but over the last few days there have been a few more about. Plus .. various extraneous factors have prevented me from getting about much. Anyhow, this morning, there I was by a local lake and I thought " hey-up, I'm in with a chance here"... there were,amazingly, 3 Swallows around as well as about 8 Swifts and 4 House Martins ... and after a few minutes of following them around with the bins, I got all three in the field of view ... I did it several times. just to make sure. Sorted There's nothing quite like a meaningless but absorbing self-imposed challenge to keep you busy. Time for celebratory music now .... DCFC ... " The Sound of Settling" ... you'll not see or hear a finer thing all day ...well, maybe ... efallai ... ... so wonderful, I expect you'll want to learn it and sing it to all your friends ... here's your ideal way to do it ... Over the last few days in our street notices have gone up ,written by "residents" asking the council not to spray weed-killer on the edges where the pavement meets the front gardens as they have done in the past, and as they are apparently planning to do soonish. I can't imagine why they feel the need to do it .... there is no obstruction, no slippery pavements, no danger, no nothing. Just some beautiful flowers along the garden edges. Not obstructing, not endangering anybody .. in fact people stop to admire them. There's loads of butterflies, bees, dipterans, beetles etc. Here's a thing about all this council "tidying-up" fetish. As soon as the council decide to "tidy something up" what they mean is, they're going to sterilise it, deaden it, ruin it, totally demolish the plants and animals and habitats and biodiversity ...because councils are run by gormless, self-interested, shits. I don't think I've quite put it strongly enough. They've got this thing about "waste ground." They don't like it. But "waste ground" is a lovely thing ..... it might look untidy and messy, but if I X-rayed the guts of those councilors, that would look messy and untidy too ... but those guts are keeping them alive. They're doing vital work. The thing is, most of these " planners" and "consultants" and the like haven't a bloody clue... about anything except making money and messing everything up. Remember my "Rules of Management".. [1] Management is utter crap. [2] Management looks after itself. [3] Management despises everyone beneath them. [4] Manage grows and grows. It's all true. [ If you, dear reader, are in management, what can I say ? Goodbye, perhaps ] Plus, they have an astonishing ability to thoroughly screw everything up. Why can't they just work in Politics, or the Railways, or Carillion,where screwing everything up seems to the acceptable norm ? Just saying ! And now ... "Atlantic City" .. Bruce Springsteen ... Well, they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night
And they blew up his house, too. Down on the boardwalk they're ready for a fight Gonna see what them racket boys can do. Now there's trouble busin' in from outta state And the d.a. can't get no relief. Gonna be a rumble on the promenade And the gamblin' commissioner's hangin' on by the skin of his teeth. Everything dies, baby that's a fact But maybe everything that dies some day comes back. Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty And meet me tonight in Atlantic city. Well, I got a job and I put my money away But I got the kind of debts that no honest man can pay. So I drew out what I had from the central trust And I bought us two tickets on that coast city bus. Everything dies, baby that's a fact But maybe everything that dies some day comes back. Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty And meet me tonight in Atlantic city. Now our luck may have died and our love may be cold But with you forever I'll stay. We'll be goin' out where the sands turn to gold But put your stockings on 'cause it might get cold. Oh, everything dies, baby that's a fact But maybe everything that dies some day comes back. Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty And meet me tonight in Atlantic city. Now I've been a-lookin' for a job, but it's hard to find There's winners and there's losers And I am south of the line. Well, I'm tired of gettin' caught out on the losin' end But I talked to a man last night, Gonna do a little favor for him. Well, everything dies, baby that's a fact But maybe everything that dies some day comes back. Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty And meet me tonight in Atlantic city. Oh, meet me tonight in Atlantic city, Oh, meet me tonight in Atlantic city. Exactly 15 years and 3 days ago I got in my car and drove all the way to Anglesey all on my own to have a go at seeing the Black Lark that had been there since the 1st of the month. I just hadn't been able to go until then for all sorts of reasons. And I didn't set off till around 2pm. I'm a risky old Hector. I just couldn't resist it, especially because of the historical importance ... it was the last of the notorious " Hastings Rarities" to actually turn up !! But also because all the other birders I knew had gone for it .. and then told me what a corker it was. That sort of thing can eat into your soul. And sole. I wasn't even sure if it was still there ... One big surprise was ,when I got to Bangor where I spent 3 ace years as a student, I didn't go through Bangor !! What ? I found myself on a honking great by-pass. By-pass ? For Bangor ?? The world's gone bonkers. Eventually, I got to the site, and there was nobody there ..well, a few tourists. Bloody tourists eh ! It must have gone !! Bah ! .. I'm going to have to traipse around 477 km² of cacky fields and not find it. ( I hope you all know how to type ² ... you hold down the ALT key, and use the number-pad on the right and type 0178 and then release. If you want ³ you type 0179 instead. It doesn't work on macs though.) But, I got out of the car, walked a short way, and there, in a field, right in front of me, there it was.... hopping about happily in the sunshine. And then someone else turned up ... and we didn't say a word at first ...we just silently watched it, as if we were in church. After about half an hour, we went to see some Choughs. Obviously Then I drove back home. I went through Bangor on the way back. Whenever I see a really rare bird I always think it's the best bird I'll ever see... and this one was.... well, until the next one. Bee-eaters ... they're quite good. On the same day, but in 1989 instead, I saw the Glossy Ibis at Fairburn Ings. An odd thing happened there ... no doubt I'll get round to it. But now, here's all the "Official Stuff " about the Black Lark that I got from that internet thingy ... At about 10.00am on Sunday 1st June 2003, one of the voluntary helpers at the RSPB observation tower at South Stack RSPB, ANGLESEY, stumbled upon a bird that he was unable to identify. It was feeding on the recently burnt area of gorse immediately above the clifftop and was all black in plumage with a contrasting pale bill. After flicking through the Collins Field Guide, the observer felt confident that the bird was a BLACK LARK Melanocorypha yeltoniensis and went back to the tower to inform other interested parties. The bird was seen by a few other naturalists during the course of the morning and early afternoon but none realised the significance of the sighting. The bird was showing well feeding amongst the newly sprouting plants in the charcoal-scorched heather. Eventually rumours filtered through of the bird’s presence and Ken Croft was alerted. He raced over from neighbouring Holyhead and at 4.30pm confirmed the bird’s identity. Indeed, the bird was a BLACK LARK – the first ever to have been recorded in Britain and Ireland. Alan Davies (of Birdline Wales) was also contacted and he too connected with the bird at 5.50pm. Although the weather had been fine and bright all afternoon, heavy cloud came in off the Irish Sea at about 6.00pm and conditions quickly deteoriated. Alan broadcast the news to the nation via his birdline and also contacted direct eminent figures on the North West birding scene and in Wales. Consequently, birders from Ceredigion, Conwy, Denbighshire, Cheshire, Wirral and Lancashire jumped in their cars immediately and made their way towards the Menai Bridge and Anglesey. By 8.00pm, some 30 birders had gathered at the site, including Gary Bellingham, John Gregory, Richard Bonser, Jonathan Williams, Pete Antropus, Steve Williams, Ian Evans, Steve Young, Barry Barnacal, Allan Conlin, Dave King and Roger Wilkinson. The bird was still showing but the conditions were abysmal. It was torrential rain and birders stood getting absolutely soaked. For no apparent reason, the bird flew up at 8.18pm and disappeared from view. It had presumably gone to roost. More and more people arrived but despite searching in heavy rain, no further sightings were had by dark. A lucky 30 birders had connected! As darkness fell, birders from all over the UK were contemplating the fate of the bird. Would it still be around, had it gone to roost, had it died in the atrocious conditions? Nevertheless, birders from as far afield as North Uist (LGRE and others on a Scottish tour), Aberdeenshire, Dunbarton, Northumberland, Yorkshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, East Kent, Sussex, Dorset, Devon and Cornwall were on their way and attempting to arrive on site by dawn. Monday 2nd June dawned grey and murky, with a cool westerly wind. It was just about birding daylight by 4.25am and within half an hour a phenomenal 700 birders had gathered. The RSPB car parks had soon filled to capacity leaving birders to resort to parking on the access road and by far this had quickly become the biggest twitch of the year. Alan Davies and the South Stack warden sensibly roped the area off and attempted to locate the bird. Careful scanning of the recently burnt area between the first car park and the cliff eventually revealed the presence of the bird and at 5.12am Alan Davies came racing back towards the crowd to attempt an organised approach. Despite some anticipated immediate problems, the huge crowd of birders soon sorted themselves out and orderly created a wide arc around the bird. It was feeding happily in the vicinity of the two coastal footpaths and showed well intermittently as it fed amongst the vegetation. It was like a piece of moving charcoal and could be quite easily picked up with the naked eye. Its black plumage contrasted heavily with the bright array of grasses, Squill, Bird’s Foot Trefoil and Lousewort. The assembled ranks of birders (among them the highest-listing birders in the land) were delighted and watched in awe as the bird fed to within 75 yards. As the morning went on the crowd numbers generally dwindled and the weather improved. The light conditions got a lot better and birders were able to approach the lark to within 50 yards. Consequently, many birders were able to get a series of images of the bird (see the many that accompany this article). Mike Malpass and Rob Wardle took full advantage and managed to get several superb shots (see plates 1-2 & 3-5). It continued to show extremely well throughout the rest of the day and remained until dark. It was still present the next morning (Tuesday 3rd) and showed well again in its favoured burnt area throughout the day. Nigel Blake visited the site and took over 118 shots of the bird (see plates 26-27) and other birders amongst the estimated 700 or so to have visited South Stack during the day included Bob Flood and Ashley Fisher from Scilly and Eugene Archer and others from Dublin. The bird made the Press Association wires and therefore featured in several National newspapers. Being a diurnal migrant it was hardly surprising that it remained for a fourth day but with improving conditions and slack winds it was somewhat remarkable that it was still present on the Friday (6th June). By now it had been admired by over 3,760 observers and was making its way towards the record books of being one of the most observed rarities in Britain of all time. The blackened area of heather and gorse was acting like a magnet to the bird and was obviously full of nutrient-rich plants on which the bird was feeding. Since its burning in May this charred area had been a haven to migrating birds with many groups of Northern and Greenland Wheatears stopping off for several days as well as Whinchats and Willow Warblers. With the ground still being relatively warm, presumably many insects are attracted to it too. This is the first genuine Black Lark to have appeared in Britain and Ireland but follows fraudulent claims of up to 10 birds said to have been obtained in Kent/East Sussex in 1907 & 1915 (see Appendix 1 below) and a probable glimpsed by Barry Spence and Mick Bell at Spurn Point, East Yorkshire, in autumn 1984. Appendix 1: claimed records of Black Lark in Britain subsequently rejected as part of the Hastings Rarity scam. 1907 Kent Lydd, four females, shot, 18th February (British Birds 55: 362-363 & 374-375) 1907 East Sussex Pevensey Levels, four adult females, shot, 29th January (British Birds 55: 362-363 & 374-375). 1915 East Sussex Westfield, single females obtained on 30th January & 1st February (British Birds 55: 362-363 & 374-375). 1915 East Sussex Hollington, January (British Birds 55: 362-363 & 374-375). Elsewhere in Europe, there have been just 17 records (of 25 birds) with only 4 sightings since 1980 (see Appendix 2). The records span 11 different countries and predominate in spring between March and early May. There are just two records in summer and two records in autumn. The farthest west the species has been recorded prior to the Anglesey sighting is Sweden and Germany. Crumbs .... now the music ... this is Birdy with a fine cover of Bon Iver's "Skinny Love" Popular Local Man in Police fracas ! A man locally regarded as "popular" became involved in an unseemly argument with local police when they appeared at his front door last Monday. And his back door, come to that, but he can't be in two places at once. Neighbours, who described the local man as "popular", and the sort of man who would " do anything for anybody" were first alerted when voices were raised in what locals tell us is a quiet neighbourhood." But it seems that this man was a serial lawbreaker, having not sent in his " Big Garden Birdwatch" form on time. .... and not at all last year either. When challenged by police at his front door, the man, locally known as " Dave" and generally regarded as "popular" was served with a summons to appear in court under legislation brought in three years ago to ensure that all householders carried out the survey, also regarded nationally as " popular", accurately and promptly, which , it is alleged, this locally popular man had failed to do. He alleges that the police dragged him through to his back garden, only to find that there were no approved bird-feeders installed, a custodial offence, and a search of his house revealed that there were no offically recognised bird books therein, except one written by a "comedian" which did not meet official standards. Nor were any packages.boxes/tubs/sacks of bird food found on the premises, despite a thorough search. A prolonged struggle allegedly ensued, resulting after some minutes with the local and popular man being thrown through the back fence, which had been recently creosoted . From there he was bundled into a police van and is now in custody. Neighbours then described a procession of police officers taking computers, files, documents etc out of the house to be taken to a forensic laboratory, locally described as "unpopular" and " creepy" for examination. All householders need to be aware of the current legislation regarding the Great Garden Birdwatch, which the popular and approachable local MP described as " essential for this divided country" and " something which can and will bring us all together in a common purpose." A non-local man, locally named as "Jeremy" told our reporter that " people, especially local people, should be much nicer to each other. I also feel strongly that the police should also be nice to everybody, regardless of whether the actual people they are being nice to are nice or not." As it stands, the law insists that all householders must ... ... be friendly and preferably local. ...install , maintain and replenish frequently a " suitable range" of bird feeders. .. ensure that all feeders are at least half full. Any below the half-way mark will be in breach of the legislation, which would invoke a custodial sentence. ..have at least two officially recognised bird identification books clearly visible in the household, but not books written by comedians, TV presenters etc. .. Maintain a complete and varied selection of stored bird food clearly visible within the household. For the full document covering these laws, we suggest you contact your local and popular town hall, where the popular local operatives will be able to supply you with full details. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Really ! you couldn't make it up !! Well, after that uplifting news item, here's living proof that a song is anything that can walk by itself ..... a superb cover version of DCFC's " Transatlanticism" ....... epic !!! Yes, I know another version's been on here before, but it's popular, if not exactly local...... The Atlantic was born today, and I'll tell you how
The clouds above opened up and let it out I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere When the water filled every hole And thousands upon thousands made an ocean Making islands where no islands should go (oh no) Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your Door have been silenced forevermore And the distance is quite simply much to far for me to row; It seems farther than ever before (oh no) I need you so much closer So come on; come on On my usual 10pm stroll with The Shredder [see above] a smashing thing happened. A small thing, but for me, an important thing. Once again, I stopped to look up at the place where Swifts have nested in previous years... you might recall that I did the same a day or two ago when, at last, I spotted one going in. Ace. But there ought to have been more.... Well, over a 10-minute period, Swifts went in at 3 other spots along the roof-line ... that's 4 nests. Which is a good number. But that's not all. I had begun to think that I could no longer hear Swifts.... and I couldn't hear those screaming.... not totally .. but I was dead chuffed to find that I could hear them, but only the "lowest" frequencies of the screams. Little twittery chirps, really. A small thing, but I was, as the title mentions, inordinately chuffed. A tiny sort of victory in a hostile world. Here's Death Cab for Cutie ... have they ever written a duff song ? " Soul Meets Body" ... The "local" "bird reserve" round our way is Grumbling Stumps. GS for short. That's not its real name of course .... that's its code name amongst us lot. Us proper birders. Of whom there are about 10. A dwindling bunch. When I first went there as an "adult" ( ho-ho) a lot of years ago it was smashing. There were loads of birds there, and very very very few people. And no blasted children. Everything possible was done to make sure no twerps or drips went there. And quite right too. There was a Right Dragon at the "entrance hut" .. that first time I dared to mention that I had been to see a rare gull some 50 miles away. The Dragon bridled at this, and drew herself up to her full height and told me in no uncertain terms " we don't approve of that sort of thing." That's me told. She scrutinised my membership card as if I was a possible international drug smuggler, and reluctantly issued me with a ticket. The hides were wonderful, decrepit, mouldy heaps of timber, with dodgy creaky slimy steps to go up, holding onto the fungus-ridden, Death-watch-beetle-infested handrail for grim death. ... and completely empty !! Smashing. Oh, and the entrance steps were usually surrounded by a giant puddle full of sludge. It wasn't quite as dodgy as getting up Ranworth Church tower, but close. They were the good old days, though I didn't know it then. I expect you can guess what it's like now .... and I'm going to show you its "progress" over the years using a new super-sarcastic format. But that's for a future post. right now it's music time, with more or less the entire McGarrigle family DNA performing " Hard times Come Again No More" ... As we all know, nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. (c) And the reason for this is ... the nearer you get to the speed of light, the heavier you get. ..and that makes it even harder to go any faster. plus ... your internal clock gets slower and slower ... which makes the speed you are going at slower as well. .. you can't win. I realised a long time ago that assembling a giant UK list faced me with the same situation. The longer my list was, the harder it was to add any more. It meant travelling further and further, with therefore an increased chance of missing the target bird, more expense, more wittering from the Significant Otter, more likelihood of finishing up as a smudge on the tarmac, and more chance of encountering Lee Evans. Have you spotted him yet ? And you finish up with a sort of " asymptotic approach" There is a saying within the "Birding Fraternity", whatever that is, that if you stay in the same place long enough you'll see every species on Earth. But that's a load of old cobblers. The snag with that is, you'd have to live to the ripe old age of 683,726 years old...or thereabouts. Not really a solution. And let's face it, by the time you got to your 12000th birthday you'd be completely pissed off with the whole bloody enterprise. Maybe sooner. You'd start to think about really odd things while you were waiting ... like, here I am,sitting in this deck chair in the garden, seemingly as still as a pond, but the Earth is spinning round at a fair old lick, and the whole planet is whizzing round the Sun at a cracking pace, and the whole solar system is hoofing around with the whole bloody galaxy at some horrendous speed, and the galaxy is honking through intergalactic space at god-knows-what-speed. But ..... we all feel as if we're perfectly still. Thank Jupiter for frames of reference eh !! It's much safer to day-list. You know where you are. And what speed you're going at. Sort of. And on that philosophical note, I give you this excellent song .... Miss Caffeina and.... " Modo Avión" .. moody stuff ... |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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