Well, there are many crucial questions in the World of Nature. And here's one of them ... Do Taller Birders See More Birds ? If so, do they have bigger life-lists ? It should be easy .... just think of all the advantages there are to being tall. [a] They can see over walls, hedges, and crucially, other, shorter people. [b] They should have a longer stride, and therefore get "there" sooner. [c] They will also block out other smaller twitchers behind them.... [d] ... which means those little people behind you people have smaller lists. [e] It is a well-known fact that taller people earn more money. [f] So they have faster cars ....and better optics... and can travel further..... [g] ....and stay longer. [h] ... and can get more foreign experience. [i] ... and, being higher up, they'll be more able to hear those high-flying rarities. But ... are there any disadvantages to being tall ? [1] Well .... they probably fall over a lot more ... being gangly and top-heavy. [2] And they'll be slower to get back up again as well ... valuable tick-time lost. [3] Plus, their ganglyness makes them more likely to break arms and legs. [4] And they will bang their heads a lot too ... hide doorways are usually low. [5] The air is thinner up there so they might run out of puff rushing for the biggie. [6] And their brains won't be working as fast. [7] So, overall they'll spend a lot more time thinking slowly, falling over all the time and lounging in hospitals with broken bones. What we really need here is facts. We want graphs ..... life-lists plotted against height . It's the only way to get to the truth. So .... if all you lot out there would supply me with your list and your height, I could draw a graph, work out the correlation coefficient and calculate the regression line and THEN you would be able to adjust your list with a compensating multiplier which would show you how many birds you COULD have got if you were a bit taller. And vice versa. OK .. I'm waiting ... simply email your details to [email protected] And I'll do the rest ... and seeing as my seaside bar is shut for the foreseeable future, I've got plenty of time. Music Time ... in this strange lock-down world, we need a bit of family harmony ... so here is some ... .. and here's another thing ... if all that is true, and tall people have an advantage, there ought to be some sort of "Short-Arse Supplement" .... but until I've got that graph drawn we won't know how many extra ticks they'll get per centimetre. So .... I need that crucial data to put things right in the cut-throat World of Ticking !
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This was yesterday's " Daily Puzzle" .... on Radio 4 ..... there's one every morning .. most of them are either boring, or mundane, or trivial. Quite a few of them emanate from that Bobby Seagull. But this one is a good 'un .... Puzzle No. 711 – Tuesday 7 April Tonight is a "Super Pink Moon". It won't look pink though - it'll be more of a dusty orange. It's called a "Super" moon because it will be about 15% bigger than an ordinary full moon. If you hold up a coin at arms length you can cover the whole of the disc of the moon. What is the smallest coin, held at arm's length, sufficient to cover the entire moon? Well, the moon has an angular width of approx ½° ... so it is easy to work out the answer. I carted The Significant Otter outdoors last night and got her to guess/estimate which of a selection of coins would exactly block out the moon. And she just couldn't believe what she found. And neither can most people. Try it for yourselves tonight .... it should be good weather for it.... and the moon won't be much dinkier than it was last night. And you might be surprised .... There is another famous and rather baffling moon illusion ... when it is low down on the horizon, most people judge it to be bigger than it is. And last time I looked for an explanation, it seemed that nobody has a good reason for it. But here's the strange thing about that ... if you turn your back on the lowdown moon, and then bend forward and look though your legs, the illusion disappears. But what has this to do with birds and/or birding ? Well, size illusion has been an issue. There are various circumstances where the size of a bird can be misjudged. Especially when they are alone. It's good to have helpful clues ...such as .. .. they're standing in front of a brick .... they're eating an apple ... they're standing on a Scrabble board ...... they're flying right next to a Swan ........ they're carrying a £5 note. ......... they're sitting on the roof of a double-decker bus. That sort of thing helps. But you aren't usually that lucky ..... But what if .... they're standing in the middle of a vast, featureless desert. ..... or on a Heathrow Airport runway .... or floating on a vast lake ..... or a flat calm sea ....... or perched on the statue of Jimmy Clitheroe ........or sauntering around one of those very convincing " model villages" ........ or high up in an empty sky ......... or, topically, flying in front of a low-down moon. ........... which you might well judge to be far too big. So ... you can easily get it drastically wrong. A “Handy” Way to Measure Angular Distances Hold your hand at arm’s length and close one eye.
With these simple measuring rules in your hand, you can not only understand basic stargazing jargon but also tell other budding stargazers where to look for a specific celestial object in the sky................... ... and now, a smidgin of relevant music ... Crumbs .... a fossilised "Pterosaurus" ... probably not tickable . Well, we're 15 days into lock-down, and each day I do my allotted plod around bits of my local patch, the 3k. I'm quite lucky with the variety of habitats I've got .... over the last two days I've gone through woodlands, by a river, and freshwater pools..... but I've missed out on my main current target ... Sand Martin. If you don't "get" them in the dinky window of opportunity, they're hard to find within my 3K area. The other "target bird" was Wheatear, which I didn't find ... it is a bit short of its mean arrival date so I wasn't too bothered. I did get two Willow Warblers though, which happened to be the mean arrival date for them . BUT .... This morning I dashed out into the back garden at a big fraction of the speed of light when two birds came over ... and close inspection proved them to be Bitterns ! Cripes .... House Tick !! AND ... this is a ridiculous thing, but I'll take a risk and tell you about it .... I was walking along the edge of private wood 2 days ago ... and in that wood are big, posh houses within a private estate with fancy lawns and suchlike .... and then I heard a Hoopoe ... clear as day, but out of sight. "It" was most likely on one of those fancy lawns. You won't believe it .. and actually, neither did I. But there was that repeated, obvious call. It went on and on. I felt very odd. What ? What ? So .... lots of thoughts raced through the brainy thing. [a] I must be imagining things. It's too early for a start. And highly unlikely. [b] It's too much of a coincidence .. the previous day there was one calling loudly on a Chekhov play on the radio. It got onto my " lockdown radio bird list." [c] Could the lawn's owner have taped it, and was now playing it back whilst doing the gardening ? [d] Normally, I would have gone round to the front of the house, knocked on the door and asked them if there were any unusual birds on their back lawn. But (i) I wouldn't know which house it was. [ii] Us plebs can't enter the private estate. [iii] They would have told me to piss orf anyway. [e] Could it be some other bird imitating a Hoopoe ... Starling is the obvious possibility... but I don't think they'd be capable of such a soft, plaintive call. What about an "aberrant" Collared dove ? Nah ! Not the right tone. Then, of course, there's the Parrot Problem ... they're nifty imitators. And posh people have Parrots ... nobody else can afford them. However ... they are also rather harsh. But that bird had exactly the right tone .... bang on. [e] My final thought ..... best thing is ... just walk away. Forget it ... and don't be stupid enough to tell anyone. Because they'll all think I'm either mad, delusional , barmy or simply lying. So that being the sensible choice, I'm not going to tell anyone about it. Not even you. [f] When I got home, I whooshed upstairs and asked google " what birds sound like a Hoopoe" ... but nothing came up. Then I conjured up some Hoopoe call videos .... just to make sure I wasn't even madder than I thought ... and they were bang on. Of course. Phew ! So there we are. Mad, delusional, gormless, mendacious. What we need now is a song about not making another mistake ... So ... that's all just between you and me .... OK.
Here's another cheering-us-up lockdown BBRC submission from the grimy depths of this cess-pool of a blog ... and again, 'tis a well-known celebrity whose written it ..... think of this post as an Oasis of Fun in our current Desert of Gloom ... Needless to say, like every other twerp in celebrity-land, Amil has shunted his talents into the birding sphere. I think his relaxed attitude, friendly demeanour and general all-round laid-back approach will inject a new fresh, git-led atmosphere to our cherished pastime. And as the destroyer of top pop band Soriasis he has the skills to stir things up a bit ...about time too. And ... he's found a rare bird ... or thinks he has. How would he know ? And ... he's sent his " description" to the BBRC ( Baby Arsy, he calls it) Yes, he's written it all up, sorted, right ? ..... Baby Arsy ..... you'd best read this or else..... Ok ? OK, I'm on it, listen up, I was out with me kids, don't mess with them mate, or you'll get a wack round the 'ed, fat bastard, anyway, took 'em to the park didn't I, good parenting, right, you arguing wiv that mate ? Eh ? yor up for a slap rarnd the 'ed so watch it mate.There's all these dopeheads after me ortograff, but I'm , like, piss off, and there's this bird, yeah, and I'm shitting meself, know what I mean, bloody bastard big thing, attitude, I know all abart that, me, so don't mess me around or I'll be rarnd your gaff sharpish with me mates, it 'ad 2 legs, that might 'elp you wiv it, and , 'old up, me eldest 'as got 'old of it, gerroff it Cheyenne or you-know-bleedin' wot, I 'ope you'se Baby Arsy lots lissnin or you'll not ave no neecaps left so think on ..... great big 'ed on it, bloody bonced up it was, totally bonced I fought, don't mess wiv it mate, I told the kids, leeve it, leeve it kids, snot wurf it if y'kno wot I meen, anyway, you lot in your swanky offisses droolin all over those tarted-up secret airy's you've all got, don't fink I don't kno abart it, you'se job is to tell me what the bastard is, and sharpish or I'll be rarnd your gaff tooled up, don't fink I carnt find it I can find owt me, I've got mates, right, leave it Cheyenne, tell you wot, fetch it over 'ere and I'll get a proper butchers at it, shite, you've ad it in the bleedin' pond you soft tart, look .I 'aint got the time for all this ritin' an stuff, get it sorted art swiftish or bleedin' else. Don't say I've not told yer. Hey, I've just remembered it were right bonced up too .. 'ow 'ard can it effing be ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well readers, if you were lucky enough to be one of the BBRC panel, what would be your decision, allowing for the fact that you had to get it "sorted" pretty " sharpish" or you would be "up for" a "slap rarnd the 'ed" at the very least ! ............... and now, fittingly, one of Amil's band's songs .... "Songbird " ................ yes, he does have a gentle, thoughtful side after all. Sticking to my " things to do while we're all stuck at home" theme, here's an index ( what, another one ?) I compiled ( sounds posh) way way back into prehistoric times (mid 2018-ish). But first, this, wot I've just made up ..... Back then I was young and sprightly I would be birding daily and nightly With my raincoat zipped up tightly But my notes were written shitely ... But these days I work indoors Instead of roaming the moors I saunter on carpeted floors Wearing my purple plus-fours ... For that is the life of the writer His burden's remarkably lighter No longer a "birding-by- nighter" No bins ... just a nifty typewriter ! Indexes are now my profession It's got to be quite an obsession But there's nothing that rhymes well with those So this poem is going to close ! After that ridiculous diversion ... here's that "mystery index" ... read on, read on ... ....................................................................... You all know of my hope that, eventually, all books will have an index. So, pop-pickers ... here's an index I've made, me, myself .. so... where did it come from come from ? and if you know that, you'll know what they all are, specifically. because I've made an index of them !! I told you they were useful. Aahng-ung-ung 115 A-liitle-bit-of-bread and nooo cheese 116 Chak 115, 116 Chip 116 Hihi heea 115 Kee kee kee 115 Kerwacky wack 116, 117 Ki ki ki 115 Pee-oo 115,116 Pszeeee-az 113 Pszeee er 114 Skee-eaz 114 Skee-er 113 Spee 113, 114 Tjip 116 Tseeh 114 Tseeze 113 Tsip 115,116 Tsissi-tseri-tsi, tsi,tsi, tsiu 115 Twik 115 Twink 116 Twit 116 Twi-tick 116 Twitup 116 Tzeeaz 114 I've no idea whether you'll find that incredibly difficult or dead easy. But it does look ( and sound) nice, does it not. ? If only all indexes/indices were as interesting/ unusual/barmy/eccentric/brief. Meantime, a bit of word-related music ... Here's more " lockdown entertainment" for you ... from the depths of this blog's murky past Here's another thing you can "do" indoors ..... well, some of it anyway. It's all part of my campaign to bring a drop of bird-related sunshine into our locked-in lives. I've dragged up -- from the long-forgotten depths of this blog -- some of those remarkable and important " tick-dances" ...and if you don't remember, or have never heard of them, here they come, complete with an explanation of them ... I wrote a little while ago about the sort of "celebration rituals" that most birders do these days when they "get" a "tick". They mostly involve a bit of prancing about, though this varies both throughout the UK and over the rest of the world. After all, you don't get to see a new bird every day ..... so celebrate it. Note ... this post is about the spontaneous " just-after-the-tick" celebration, not to be confused with the "Tree-Climbing" that has been going on for years, usually, but not always, done once you get home... which sort of tree depends on where you live. In Flintshire, it's the Jub-Jub Tree. This first one shows an unknown birder who apparently has just "ticked" his first fly-over Black Stork a few minutes after The Flaming Lips finished their set. It's a good one for beginners to take up, and it's starting to become more widespread around the Devon/Cornwall area ... but it can be done anywhere really. If you don't have any particular ritual right now, this is a good " Entry-Level" one to try..... very popular in the Huddersfield area apparently ... especially the 2nd one which starts at 1m:55s .. Ein Zwei Polizei ... it's actually a German nursery rhyme ... a strange one, true enough. But it really is. Of course, birding encompasses all age groups, so some of our more elderly adherents, though still wanting to do their celebratory tick dance, might like a more sedate option ..here's one video which has been widely adopted as a model by this much-respected group ... he's "spotted" a Yellow-Browed Warbler after decades of dipping ... So .... that's the ones I know about , mostly recommended by people I've met in various parts of the UK whilst getting ticks myself. If you know of any good ones I've missed, it would be be good if you could let me know ..as a comment, or as to my email ..... [email protected] Then I can add them to this selection. You know it makes sense. Update ... somebody has sent me one already .... he points out that many birders come from the "less-mobile" community ... and this is for them.... loads of choice here, and it all has a true dignity and beauty about it. It doesn't have to only be for them though. But as I get increasingly ancient, this might be the route for me too ... watch, and admire ... I wrote about more of these in later posts .... here they are ..... excellent stuff !! 238-another-space-saving-tick-dance.html This 457 one is, in my opinion, the best of the lot ... 457-tick-celebrations-some-new-ideas.html 174-tick-celebrations-a-selection.html .......and don't forget to keep up your Radio and TV lists ..... you know it makes sense. And as for the music ... it's got to be a dance ... and a most unusual one too ........ Yes, exactly 16 years ago... here's my diary for that morning 0655-0955 ..... .. yep ..an interesting 3 hour seawatch off Heysham Harbour. Good stuff, but nothing too spectacular. Ah, the joys of youth ! Well, relative youth anyway. But all that came to an end ...because of this ... 112-in-which-i-get-thrown-out.html ..... and it added 1 to these ... 11-places-i-dont-go.html But enough of glumness and melancholy ..... let's have a spot of uplifting music ... That was in the days when I drew things.
For no reason I can think of, I don't much anymore. As you all know, I suggested that you tried some birding-related projects that you could do indoors ... 'cos that's where we'll be spending most of our time for the foreseeable future. And yesterday I started my " radio" list .... I "got" the Tweet of the day of course, but I did cheat a bit by recording it rather than getting up at some awful hour. After a couple of other radio ticks, I got a whopper ! Hoopoe ! I was listening to this Chekhov play on Radio 4 ... as you do .... .and almost the whole way through, there was a Hoopoe calling all the time . Jammy Radio Tick or what ? Readers ... I recommend it ! The " couple of others" were on Father Brown ... Tawny Owl + Willow Warbler But what will tomorrow bring ? Right then .... there's your tedious hours of in-door-ness mollified by me .... .... So .... let's do it ..................... ..... ... and I've thought up a brilliant way of pyramiding all the bird books I can find without it banging into the ceiling ..... watch this space ! Woo !
Hey ... somebody is playing a trumpet out the back hang on ..there's bagpipes as well. Aha !! It's that 8pm thing................. It seems that the emptying of cities has led to invasions by the animal kingdom ...... and here's a few examples .... there's some bird-identifying to keep you busy amongst all the mammals etc....... there's sounds as well ..... all increasing your vital "Lockdown Screen list" ... here's a few Peruvian gulls ... and more ..... ... this next one has a strange "murmuration" on it .... and some "road sense" ... ... as does this ... and some odd sounds .... ... and here's the "Llandudno Goat Invasion" you've probably all "herd" about .... ho-ho ... No doubt more of that will come online as the situation continues. But now, a completely nothing-to-do-with-any-of-that song ..... This is another of my feeble attempts to cheer everybody up with some of my dragged-up-from-the-distant-past silly articules ..... ...it's all about yet another rare bird that Joris Bohnson thinks he's seen .. .... , of course, he's going to write a very sensible account of that bird........ And now, at this crucial time for our beloved country, another of Joris Bohnson's submissions to the BBRC has turned up.. .... in case you don't know, that stands for . . . . . The Bewildered Bird Rejection Committee That's what I call it anyway..... don't mean anything by it old chaps, buy you a snorter down at the Duck and Trumpet next time you're down here... anyhow, here's what I, er, saw... it's jolly old J. B. here by the way.... Well,, blimey, spending a bit of time at the pater's mega-mansion, don't y'know, what, with, er, never mind who she was, not, er, relevant, in the circs, hurrrrumph, so there was this bird, no, not that sort, the other sort, on the jolly old lawn, 3-acre job that one, and a bally ha-ha half way across the thing, caught out a few times with the blasted thing, too many bracers most likely, not the first time I've had a bird on the lawn, see what I mean, eh, keep it to yourselves what ! No names, no paternity suit what ? You'll be wanting a few facts, routine stuff, er, not too hot on facts actually, do me best, tally-ho, well, it was about the size of ,er, how can I put it, Goldfish-Govey's head, probably the best comparison, legs, yes, got them, medium size, sort of Thatcher-May hybrid,but with the knees round the back, always wondered about that, seems a bit odd. You'll be wanting to know about its face I dare say, hold on a mo, up at the front as usual I expect, thin sort of pasty thing, short of a few meals at the club I wouldn't wonder, Rees-Moggish look about it, startled, yes, beak , ooh-er, must have had one, a bit north of the face, best bet,thin sort of job, bit like old Wiggers at Balliol, what about that time he got through the Vice-Chancellor's cat-flap, takes a bit of nerve that, got to hand it to him, sent down though, finished up with a first eventually, stern letter from the pater I would imagine. I've got that feeling I always get when I'm on the spot a bit, you know, thinking there's something missing, which reminds me of old Stinky Stodgeworth, one of my tutors at Eton, we used to nick his chalk off his desk while he wasn't looking and he would go raving bonkers and give out detentions left right and centre, and then one of us would pick the right moment and stealthily put in back where it came from. The silly old sod would apologise profusely and excuse us all ...he never worked out what was going on . What days, eh ! Hold on hold on... there's something missing .... have I done the legs ? And talking of legs, which I probably was, what about, er,hold on, better not carry on on with that one, bit dodgy these days, hang on ! I know .... two of the things ! Phew ... just about sorted that bit. I've missed out the wings, that's the thing. And the back. And the front for that matter, better not call it the breast, phwoooar, sticky wicket that one,scrub that, don't y'know, give it a wide birth and all that, hang on, is it berth ? Er ..... well, you lot can pick out the right one, you're the bally experts when all's said and done, and anyway, it had wings, because it flew off , and if it had a front , which it did, it must have a back as well, so that's all sorted out. All shipshape and Bristol fa.... hold on, steer clear of Bristols old chap, steady the ship, nearly got it all sorted out ...... Hah ! Tail !! Well, er, can't say I spotted it. But it must have had one, so that's just about wrapped it up. Which, now I come to think of, is what happened to old Stodgworth on the last day of term, we wrapped him up in brown paper while he was asleep, rather early in the lesson for him, and posted him to New bloody Zealand ! Worth every penny. Well, it was old money then, £1 2s 8d as far as I remember. Postal Order job of course. There we are then .... and I'm depending on you to come to the right and proper decision. Us Old Bailliolers ... hang on a mo, that can't be right ... Old Bailliolions, no, I know, Old Balliolographers .... well, whatever we're called,we need to stick up for each other, that's the spirit, what ! And talking of tails, I could tell a few tales about you lot, might get leaked to the Sunday papers, don't want that sort of thing now do we, if you know what I mean. And I should know! So, just mull that over, what ! Hang on ... maybe it's wide burth ?? ! And now ... the music spot ..... Stuff and Nonsense ! |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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