"The Best Silly Birding Spots"
Oh yes ... that's the "best" birding-related misprint I have ever seen .... it was in the Launceston Mercury a few years ago, and was on the News Quiz and all sorts. I expect it boosted their circulation as well....a cynic might just think it was deliberate .... but that's just the tip of a giant heap of unintentional hilarity ... yes indeed .... Mind you, there are quite a few " Silly Birding Spots" that I've come across. Various hides I've been to from which nothing is ever seen. "Raptor Watchpoints" with a vast panorama of ...er ... nothing. "Nature Trails" which don't seem to offer any nature at all. Which reminds me ... " Try Our Nature Trials " ...was one that I saw in the "Hut Window" of a not-to-be-revealed but well-known" reserve ..... mind you it could be true. After all, they can be a bit of a trial. Here's a few more I've picked up over the eons .... WILL THIS BE A RAMBLING YEAR" ( hope not ... bloody ramblers !) ( Meols Echo) WHERE ARE OUR EASELS ? ( Barnsley Reporter, April 2017) ( Not actually a bird though) STARING FLOCKS ARE RUINING REEDBEDS .. well, they would be, I suppose.( Source ?) WAXWIG LANDS ON WARDEN'S HEAD .. how remarkably appropriate ! ( BTO News) CASTLE EGRET RULES THE ROOST ... (Carnforth Spectator, June 1984) ( Ticked it !) POTTED REDSHANK RELEASED ..... (Tewksbury Wizard, Feb 1906) CORNCAKE FOUND IN PIE SHOP .... ( Private Eye Annual 2008)( A favourite that ! ) OLDENEYE FITTED WITH CORNEAL IMPLANT ( Progress in Avian Geriatrics, June 2001) SOCIABLE LOVERS SEEN ON VILLAGE GREEN ( Knott End Newsletter + photo-spread !!) NOW GOOSE MAKES BRIEF VISIT ( Grumbling Stumps Annual Report 2003) ALLCREEPERS EVERYWHERE ! ( Ruislip Gazette , July 1967) TWITS INVADE LOCAL MATURE RESERVE ( Ripon Recorder) BAGGERS OPPOSE IMPENDING GULL ( STOUR SOUNDER) (Two for the price of one) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm sure you lot out there can come up with more .... I've been trifling through my diary to dig those out ... sorry, riffing through my dairy ... well, rooking through my tiles ... hang on, a Lack-Winged Tilt has just staggered through the garden .... he's a temporary ratite he is ! It's all go here at Mixolydian Towers !
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After my brilliant joke about the "not-quite-good-enough-to make-it-big" alt-pop band "Your Actual Ratites" (see previous blog) I got an email from a certain Susan Arfwyt which included some press reviews about Your Actual Ratites she saved as a teenager ... so here they are .... well, the funny bits anyway .... NME, June '93 "...what I did like was their "down-to-earth" attitude....." Melody Maker March '91 "... ... one of the most "grounded" bands currently on the circuit." Smash Hits, December '92 " .... the only low points were their covers of " Up, up and away" and "Eight Miles High" which didn't suit their style at all, to be honest " Hot Hits, November 95 " ... I was most impressed with the way they coped with a couple of technical faults ... they never got into a flap ... " Well, thanks for those Gems, Susan, and any similar reviews/opinions will be happily received .... [email protected] That picture at the top, by the way, is the back cover of their one and only single, now very much a collector's item. It never got up to any heights in the charts. [ Unusually, I'm writing this at 6pm... usually I write it in the morning after I've thought of something, but the computer or whatever kept telling me I was entering a dangerous site and I had to switch off right away .... which I had to do because there were no other choices ! I don't think weebly is at all dodgy !! Anyway, it has at last let me in ] [ So, if "that sort of thing" gets worse, I'm stuffed !! ] [ I expect that " King of Bryher" would be chuffed ] By the way, " Your Actual Ratites" songwriter, "Sky", has ruled out any chance of a "reunion rooftop concert" ... what a shame. .... so .. all I need to do now is find a "suitable" bit of music ... here's an absolute gem from 1967 .... crivvens ! Well, Bitterns are secretive sods, are they not ! Apparently there's 27 of them in there. And cryptic too. Cryptic³. Cunningly, creepily cryptic. So .... here's the thing ..... Why do they venture onto the ice when things get freezified ? Here's some reasons why it's a stupid idea .. [1] All that crypticallity is ruined ... they're a big brown thing on a white background. How gormless is that ? [2] Surely they've no access to any prey when they're on the ice. Mainly because the other animals sensibly stay in the reedbed. [3] And ... surely they're more likely to find unfrozen water in the reedbed, what with it being more sheltered and therefore less likely to freeze. And here's another thing ... At Leighton Moss "they" used to put food out on the ice ..... sardines, fish paste, sausage rolls, cream buns, stotty cake, polo mints ..... that sort of stuff, mind you, all except that first one were the mad wanderings of my imagination. But apparently, according to my Northern correspondents ( not co-respondents) ( they're a different barrel of fish entirely) they don't do that any more. Why ? Maybe the RSPB is short of cash. Hey ... that's maybe why it's doing that A££€N'$ GA££INUL€ stunt. Or ... Maybe they've been accused of "interfering" with , er, Nature, whatever that is. See post 373 for all that ..... 373-another-cuttings-based-controversial-conundrum.html But, seriously, why DO Bitterns go out onto the ice ? Here's one "explanation" I found ... "Winter is a good time to see them as the reed beds thin out and they'll often venture out more into the open in search of food and water during harsh winter weather." Well, my response to that is .. [a] How, exactly, do those reed beds "thin out ?" [b] Even if they do, surely the Bitterns are better off in them rather than not ? [c] Why would they be more likely to find food on the ice? The windswept, barren ice-sheet ? What ? [d] You can't "drink" ice ... and ice is what the water has turned into. Ice. I'm just saying ! Well.... as usual, your ideas are very welcome. So... music... well it's NOT going to be Ice bloody T. How about The Icicle Works ? OK then .... The Icicle Works ... " Birds Fly" They've obviously never heard of Your Actual Ratites then. Now they're a proper band, Your Actual Ratites. But the sad thing is, they never really took off. I suspect that was ..... The First Ever Ratite Joke In The Entire Universe.
I sincerely hope so. Anyhow, I challenge you to come up with another one Or even ... perish the thought .. a better one !!!!!!!!! Well, nobody knows for sure, but there is a rumour that the Avocet is "vieux chapeau" and is going to be replaced ! But with what ? And why ? Well, I've heard on the grapevine ( surely one of those "social media sites" should be called Grapevine ... or even better, Gripevine ... that's my idea btw...) anyway, I got it from that "King of Bryher" bloke that it's going to be ........ go on, have a guess. While you're thinking of a suitable candidate, here's a picture. We like a picture.... Well, I bet none of you got it ... the rumour is, it's ... it's .............. ALLEN'S GALLINULE Crumbs. But why ? Why oh why oh why ?? Here's another picture while you think about that ..... Well, nobody's quite sure, but The King of Bryher has come up with the most plausible suggestion... you might have to do a "double take" with this ... for some reason "they" paid him £5 for coming up with it .... A££EN'S GA££INU£E or even A££€N'S GA££INU£€ or even² A££€N'$ GA££INU£€ But ... he thinks they haven't launched it yet because they're still looking for a bird that will have even more of "that sort of thing" ... and just think .. if you can find one, you might get a spot of cash from them for the idea. Anyway, I await your suggestions .... .... but it's got to be something pronounceable ........ Music a bit later ... I'm on Ferrying duty now... I might need a boat ! Later ... nearly needed said boat... but the music isn't going to be Handel's Water Music ...no ..... it's going to be TMBG ... " Unpronounceable " but why ? Time stopped
When you said hello When you left The clock began to breathe again Now all I do is think about The puzzle that remains Your name it is unpronounceable Distorted and illegible I never figured out what that was If I couldn’t then I doubt I ever will Rewind the tape, review the blur Never the same, but still obscure Turn up the sound and hear the white noise Zoom and enhance if that were even a Real thing Which it isn’t Stare at the static long enough you’ll Be hypnotized be hypnotized Now I spend My days and nights Looking at A depression on the sofa And over time it flattens out But I am still depressed Your name it is unpronounceable Distorted and illegible I never figured out what that was If I couldn’t then I know I never will Rewind the tape, review the blur Never the same, but still obscure Turn up the sound and hear the white noise Stare at the static and be hypnotized Found Found your sound Wound down and nearly drowned Lying on the ground Your name it is unpronounceable In case you don't know, that there is the aforementioned Slaty Bristlefront ... A Ms. Woodnymph of Norton Bedstead has emailed me with that very question .. why indeed have there been no poems featuring the excellent Bristlefront.... well, here's one .... Some birds don't rhyme with owt that's useful so poets don't like them, to be truthful they write no poems, no songs we sing of gannets, twites or penguins (king) .. T'is sad that Twite should rhyme with shi** as does the Kite and The Isle of White and gannet rhymes with .... hold on... planet but what on Earth's the use of that ? And what about the Capercaillie it has to live entirely shyly and creep around the place so slyly usually in downtown Filey there's nowhere else it can locate well, not in poems at any rate.... Right up the creek we find the Wigeon he rhymes with pigeon, and religion engine, onion, bunion, gudgeon .. therefore poets such species do ignore ... Even worse off is the Blackbird He rhymes with nerd, absurd and turd That not the stuff that poetry thrives on He's in a worse place than the Wigeon .. And what about the lonesome Pitta A bitter, quitter,and maybe, shi**** he rhymes with witter, baby-sitter and if you know your latin, iter yes, iter, iter, iter iter ... [ that's something of an in-joke for all us latin-learning folk] For poets like me, the Bristlefront is a rather dodgy punt he rhymes with useless words like runt and bunt, and blunt, and punt and stunt their relevance is minimal and the obvious one's not practical. But now he's got his name in verse .. (that last verse could have been much worse)(!) The subject of this morning's TOTD ( Tweet of the Day) was the Swift. But when they put its call on, I could only hear a few dinky squeaks. Such is age. But ...as we all know, and as eni fule kno, the Swift is declining here in the UK ... and a lot of it is due to the lack of nesting sites. And that is largely due to roof/fascia board alterations. Luckily, in our street there are some big, tall houses with the old-fangled ( is that a word ? The opposite of new-fangled ?) roofing arrangements.... and they're still nesting there. But many houses are no longer suitable. Well, you can buy posh Swift boxes .... and you can make them. Plans do exist. It might be a good idea for the RSPB ( other associations are available) to help things along a bit by replacing the cacky begging letters they slip inside their magazine with a handy set of diagrams showing us how to make their own. But hey ... what do us plebs out in the sticks know eh ? But there is a further problem ... they need to be put up a a hefty height ... 7m +. Now that can be tricky for most potential erectors ! Drilling into a stone/brick wall up a 7m ladder can be a daunting experience. But ... there is another way !! And it's attractive and popular !!! Like I used to be. Where did it all go ? In many places, all over the Swift-populated world, they put up Swift Towers. They're like Trump Towers, but they do some good. (In case you're not sure, they are towers which are specially designed to accommodate lots of nesting swifts. Yo !! Woo ! ) Yes. I can't wait for Mold town centre to get one. Truly ... I'm convinced that they would be a great attraction and benefit for towns and cities all over the UK ... and I'm also sure it wouldn't be too hard to raise the money either.Even meany-guts old me would contribute. And ... During the course of my research into "all this sort of thing" I have discovered that there are "Swift Groups" all over the country, raising awareness of the problem and trying to do something about it.... maybe there's one near you. And "Action for Swifts" [ Warning .. most references to Swift Groups on the net are either about caravans or somebody called Taylor Swift.] [Truly]. Here's a few pictures .... from all over the world ..... .... come on Swifts, I want you back ! A bit ago I wrote about a book by Pete Dunn ... "Small-Headed Flycatcher". I've been dipping into it for a while ... partly because I'm an inveterate dipper-in, but partly because I don't want it to finish, if you see what I mean. If you have dipped into it for a while, you're still pretty sure there's bits you've not read yet. More to look forward to. One of the chapters is about Harold ... Harold Axtell, an American birder extraordinaire, as they say. Here's one side of Harold's personality I recognise .. " You must understand that when a person asked a question of Harold, he felt honour-bound and duty-bound to offer as complete a response as possible. Harold loved the truth - the whole truth - and I think he never quite understood how or why most people are content with less." Yes, I'm a lot like that myself. As no doubt some of my readers have noticed. It has caused many a frosty stare from The Significant Otter as well. For example, I get very irked when there is an opportunity to explain something, something important and useful ,and "they" don't do it. Here's a few classic ones coming up ... They report how a person got stuck in the mud and the tide was rising and had to be dug out by the RNLI or a "Local Man" or whatever .... they'll spend five minutes waffling on about how his wife was worried, and about how he would have died if they hadn't come in time, and they'll do an interview with one of the rescuers .. but why didn't they tell the viewers what they should do if THEY get stuck ? Why not ? It's simple enough. Just do it ! Grrrr. There's a feature about winter swans on a local reserve ... and they point out the Whoopers ..... but then a Bewick's floats by and they don't mention it. Or explain the differences between them. It would only take a ½ a minute. Why not ? They do a thing about climbers getting hypothermia..... and they tell people to dress warmly and the like .... but one of the key features of hypothermia is that you don't notice its onset .... it creeps up on you without you realising and tends to make you do the wrong things ... you'll start dancing around and taking your clothes off ... a bit like a night at the Wigan Casino .... so all that "advice" flies out of the window. And the best way to get round that is to have somebody with you ... somebody who does know what to do. But they never ( well, hardly ever) mention that. There you are ... I've told you in 4 words ..and so could they. There's four key behaviours to look out for ... Mumbling, Stumbling, Bumbling, Fumbling. But they don't tell you that either. Ooh ... a Kingfisher perched on a " No Fishing" sign ..... but do they ever tell the awaiting throng of viewers how to tell whether it's male or female. A simple thing. 5 seconds. Red underside of bill. Think of it as lipstick. Female. But they don't tell us. On the national scale, why hasn't there been a short documentary on how we used to manage everything before we joined the EU ? Somebody must know ... so why don't they tell us ? Do any of those MP's know ? I've no idea. And nor have they. And that's not all ..... but I've gone on much too long anyway .... Grrrrr. Sadly, Harold Axtell is no longer with us. But he would have explained it all. Here, appropriately, is Neil Young and " Tell me why " Sailing heart-ships through broken harbors
Out on the waves in the night Still the searcher must ride the dark horse Racing alone in his fright Tell me why, tell me why Is it hard to make arrangements with yourself When you're old enough to repay but young enough to sell? Tell me lies later, come and see me I'll be around for a while I am lonely but you can free me All in the way that you smile Tell me why Tell me why Is it hard to make arrangements with yourself When you're old enough to repay but young enough to sell? Tell me why, tell me why Could this be a non-organised high-tide count ? There's a lot of it about, apparently. Whereas Low-tide counts ... they're fully organised. ( Me and The Trogs were talking about all sorts of things up at Grumbling Stumps the other day. We had all "not seen the Rare Bird" that day, but that's OK, we're an experienced bunch us lot, and I happened to mention that the Scottish Parliament is riddled with fish ... Alex Salmond, Nicola Sturgeon and, er, all those others. I proposed the Theory that " More People Are Named After Fish than Birds." This got us going. We are never better than when we're arguing about something super-trivial. It's our forte. .... and our fifte, come to that. Mac recalled that there was a rumour that the upper regions of the RSPB are awash with bird-named people ... BNP's to the rest of us, except that's a bit dodgy so we decided to name them ARSs .... Avian-Related Surnames. That's OK I think. There was a bit of a concern because it might sound like something else. Anyone would think we were overgrown schoolkids or summat ! Anyhow, Dan got his ipad or whatever it is out and googled " RSPB top people" or something similar. He found this list of councillors ... Kevin Cox (Chair) Robert Cubbage (Treasurer) David Baldock (Chair, Conservation Committee) John Bullock (Chair, Fundraising & Communications Committee) Colin Galbraith (Chair, Country Advisory Committee for Scotland) Clive Mellon (Chair, Country Advisory Committee for Northern Ireland) Adrian Webb (Chair, Country Advisory Committee for Wales) Helen Browning Rosie Hails Chris Mills Stephen Moss Neal Ransome Martin Saunders Matt Taylor Kerry ten Kate Jennifer Ullman Well ... no fish, no birds ... unless you count that "Martin" person. There's a near-vegetable ... Robert Cubbage. A near-fruit .... Clive Mellon. And a Bryophyte ..... Stephen Moss A Spider-related name .... Adrian Webb. A mammal ... John Bullock. A spot of meteorology ... Rosie Hails. And only one with any sort of meaningful occupation ... Chris Mills. And not a single blasted fish. But hey ... it's only a tiny sample from a tiny hierarchy from a society that hasn't even the wit to notice that RSPB makes a rude word ( which, astonishingly, rhymes with word) when you shove it up the alphabet 2 places. Where's the " due diligence" eh ? So ... I looked up the BTO lot ... and there is a lot ... I've Helpfully Highlighted Relevant Results in this vital research thingy ... I've done a bit of barrel-scraping to get something out of it ... Andy CLEMENTS - Director James PEARCE-HIGGINS - Director, Science Andrew SCOTT - Director of Services Ieuan EVANS - Director of Engagement Andy MUSGROVE - Associate Director, Information Systems Rob ROBINSON - Associate Director, Research ( Ha ! Result!) Chris WERNHAM - Associate Director, Country Offices ( Anagram of Wren ) Science: Directors & Senior Research Fellows James PEARCE-HIGGINS - Director, Science Rob ROBINSON - Associate Director - Research ( Another embedded Robin) Stephen BAILLIE - Senior Research Fellow Rob FULLER - Honorary Research Fellow ( misprint for Fulmar ?) Dave LEECH - Head of Ringing & Nest Recording Team (invertebrate !!) Jez BLACKBURN - Licensing and Sales Manager ( Short for Blackburnian Warbler) Bridget GRIFFIN - Ringing Data Manager ( that's a sort of dragon) Carl BARIMORE - Nest Records Organiser Ruth WALKER - Ringing Surveys Organiser Phil ATKINSON - Head of International Research & Principal Ecologist Chris HEWSON - Senior Research Ecologist David NOBLE - Principal Ecologist - Monitoring Research Simon GILLINGS - Head of Population Ecology & Modelling & Principal Ecologist Stuart NEWSON - Senior Research Ecologist Philipp BOERSCH-SUPAN - Ecological Statistician Dario MASSIMINO - Research Ecologist Blaise MARTAY - Research Ecologist Samantha FRANKS - Research Ecologist Jennifer BORDER - Spatial Ecologist Dawn BALMER - Head of Surveys Scott MAYSON - BirdTrack Organiser Stephen MCAVOY - BirdTrack Support Officer Sarah HARRIS - BBS National Organiser ( Harris Hawk ?) Teresa FROST - WeBS National Organiser ( Meteorology) Heidi MELLAN - WeBS Counter Network Organiser (almost-melon) Neil CALBRADE - WeBS Low Tide Count Organiser ( What about high tides?) Gavin SIRIWARDENA - Head of Terrestrial Ecology and Principal Ecologist Ian HENDERSON - Senior Research Ecologist ( There's a Hint of Hen there) Greg CONWAY - Research Ecologist Kate PLUMMER - Research Ecologist ( a proper job at last ... almost) Henrietta PRINGLE - Research Ecologist ( hen crops up once more ) Hugh HANMER - Research Ecologist David NORFOLK - Research Officer Niall BURTON - Head of Wetland & Marine Research & Principal Ecologist Graham AUSTIN - Senior Research Ecologist Chris THAXTER - Senior Research Ecologist Aonghais COOK - Senior Research Ecologist Crumbs ... another proper job Ros GREEN - Research Ecologist Ian WOODWARD - Research Officer Combined Ecology (What is combined Ecology ?) Phil ATKINSON - Science Director Engagement ( Aha ...they've got a bit of a Side-Hustle going) Ieuan EVANS - Director of Engagement Deb LEE - Head of Engagement Kate RISELY - Garden BirdWatch Organiser Claire BOOTHBY - Garden BirdWatch Development Officer Nick MORAN - Training Manager Mike TOMS - Head of Communications Paul STANCLIFFE - Media Manager Viola ROSS-SMITH - Science Communications Manager Faye VOGELY - Social Media Manager ( Aha .. Vogel = a bird in German !!!!!) Chris WERNHAM - Associate Director, Country Offices (He's got 2 jobs.. see above) John CALLADINE - Senior Research Ecologist Anne CARRINGTON-COTTON - Data and Administration Officer Ben DARVILL - Development & Engagement Manager Liz HUMPHREYS - Senior Research Ecologist Mark WILSON - Research Ecologist Amy CHALLIS - Scottish Raptor Monitoring Coordinator David JARRETT - Fieldwork, Training and Engagement Officer Kelvin JONES - Development Co-ordinator Rachel TAYLOR - Senior Ecologist Katharine BOWGEN - Research Ecologist Shane WOLSEY - Northern Ireland Officer Katherine BOOTH-JONES - Science Officer Is that all ? Who makes the tea ? Who replaces the light bulbs? Come to that, who replaces the heavy bulbs ? Who fixes the computers ? Who sweeps the corridors of power ? Do they use power-sweepers ? Who organises the rota for the sweepers of the corridors of power ? AND We still have no idea who organises the High Tide Counts. Perhaps all has reverted to anarchy in that sphere . Well, that's entropy for you. Ah ... back to business .... what have we discovered/uncovered ? We didn't find much did we ? Virtually nowt. I did mention the barrel-scraping that was needed. And not a trace of a fish. And only a few shadowy, hoodwinkery-type birds. By the time we'd ploughed through that lot they were clearing the tables away. But .... there we were, scouring the dark coal-face of avian research. And we weren't getting paid a halfpenny. But that's what we do. So you don't have to. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've spent hours working out what piece of music could possibly be right ! Hey ...we could have something by Fish out of Marillion !! ..... even though there weren't any. Cooped up in the cafe, talking about birds ... were we blind to the beautiful ? I came across a truly classic "hoodwink" yesterday as I was strolling into town. It adds one more to the depressing and largely farcical list of hoodwinks that have gone before it. They're all on here ... though why I put them on I don't know ...they only served to destroy what birding credentials I ever had and at the same time give you lot a laugh. So ..there I was, only a min or two into my walk, when I heard a strange call. Yes, they often start like that, these hoodwinks. And "it" kept doing it. But what, I asked myself, was "it" ? Grrrrr.... and Grrrr³ . Even, after another minute or so of the same .... [Grrr³]² Which is a lot of Grrr. How to describe it ? Well, each call was high pitched ..and squeaky ... and wispy ..v. wispy... "thin" And short.Very short. A bit like an axle that occasionally squeaks.. wispily and briefly. And thinly. The thing is ... I was bound to spot it soon. Oh yes. Er ..no. no sign of it ... though it was zipping about ... somewhere. Was it some kid with a squeaky thing ? Was it a Gt. Tit, as all hoodwinks usually are ... no ..far too high and thin. Crest ? Maybe. A good candidate. But.... The only snag is, I know I can't hear them ! Bah ! I suppose I might have been hearing the "lowest" bit of an even "higher" call. I'm like that with swifts .... I can only hear the "lower" bits of their calls. It's very sad really. Why didn't I investigate more closely ? Because it was in a garden .... I'd already been gawping at it for about 15 mins. Looking v. suspicious. I've mentioned before that I'm a big, rough-looking bloke .... ...so staring at people's houses and gardens isn't a good idea. And, of course, I didn't use my binoculars. [a] because I could easily finish up in court .... [b] because I didn't bring them. No Urban Binoculars is the rule. (NUB) [c] I might even finish up in hospital (Angry Householder Syndrome) ( AHS) (Arse) [d] Remember that .. it's memorable. So ... another in the long litany of hoodwinkery. Many years ago,in the same spot, I nearly got mowed down by a unicyclist ! Now that was a first, I can assure you. Or should it be "mown down" ... I don't know. Not one of those dinky unicyles either .. a big tall one. It would have been quite handy for looking over that hedge. But of course, when I needed a unicyclist, there wasn't one. It's always the way. Bah. Music now... we're off for a walk before the rain comes . Truly. "Let us not speak, for the love we bear one another--
Let us hold hands and look." She such a very ordinary little woman; He such a thumping crook; ( that's me) But both, for a moment, little lower than the angels In the teashop's ingle-nook. That's from a John Betjeman poem that is .... he must have spotted me somewhere. Here's another "cutting" that turned up as a bookmark in one of my ... books. It was all about a huge hoo-hah about whether those filming "Nature Documentaries" should intervene when the subjects are endangered in some way. Here's one side of the argument. ... such as it is ... ..and here's the "other side" .... such as it is.... As you can see, they've asked us to say what we think ... so here's what I think. ...... some of it ... there isn't room for all of it. First thing .. those scenarios are very "top-end" things .... but what about the middling sorts of things...and the "dinky"end of it all. This morning, for example, at the "dinky" non-dramatic, not-filmed-at-all end of the spectrum, I put lots of food out in my frozen solid garden,including some under the hedge so the big hitters wouldn't get it all, I broke and removed the ice from the water supply ... but surely I was " interfering" .... And yesterday, walking along the tideline, I took the trouble to pick up loads of plastic stuff ... plastic straws, disposed-of disposable fag lighters, slivers of plastic, plastic lids, bottle tops, bits of mesh, plastic string and fishing line .... and the day before, I did the same thing somewhere else ... interfering, basically. I remember walking way way out on a salt-marsh ( the same one, actually) to rescue a Mute Swan stuck fast in a narrow gully. I had spent 10 minutes trying to read its neck-collar and began to wonder why it wasn't moving. It took another 10 mins to haul it out of a very very tight fit, yes, that might influence my choice of music, but eventually succeeded ..it strolled away nonchalantly, and so did I. I think I did the right thing each time .. if you disagree, please tell me why .... [email protected] ... or, if you feel that the world should know, as a comment. ... or, you could tell me how perfectly I dealt with it ! After all,us humans, including those junkchuckers, are all part of "nature"? What a nerve we've got, interfering and "correcting" their behaviours . ... and that Swan .. a loser ! It deserved to drown slowly on the next high tide . Are we to stop feeding birds and picking up plastic and rescuing Swans then ... just because of some philosophical drivel about " letting nature take its course ? " "We", us lot, are part of "nature. " And "we" consider ourselves superior. But what exactly does "superior" mean? We can be pretty sure that rats and seaweed and microbes will outlive the lot of us. We are passing collection of DNA in the bigger global picture. We're currently doing a very good job of "clevering" ourselves into oblivion. And away from the top end, "filming-in-the-Gobi-desert" stuff, there's a whole swathe of decisions going on every millisecond of every day which impact every living thing. But .. to muddy the water, there's the "practicality" issue. Those penguin chicks ... you save them. It's easy, no repercussions, do it. But that "Baby Elephant- Predator" scenario ... what do you do ? If you kill the predator, or if you let it kill the elephant, you can't win. And you've only got a few seconds to think about it. Which species is the most endangered ? Which choice is most likely to "work ?" Why didn't we bring a tranquiliser gun ? (Does tranquilliser have one "L" or two"?) (How about stun-gun ?) (OK) Would it work quickly enough ? ( No). All those people adopting any artificial "moral high ground" need to consider all the circumstances and the choices the observers had at their disposal. So ... I've just done a bit of "stream-of -conscientiousness" there ... Well, there's a whole junk-heap of thoughts there. More heap than junk I hope. After all, I rescue flies out of spider-webs, me. Now that IS a controversial stance. Music .. no it's NOT going to be "Tight Fit".... there are limits. And ... May You Never chuck grape-related products onto the pavement ... grapes, sultanas, currant buns ... they kill dogs. Painfully. Slowly. I don't know why, and nor does anybody else. John Martin might be telling you that in this lovely song ... but it's hard to tell ! |
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October 2022
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