In those wonderful French Tintin books they are very fond of featuring these chopped-off bits of newspaper stories. I've often thought they would make a terrific French homework ... the task being, to pick one of the " chopped-off-at-the-edges" stories and complete it in the best/funniest/sensible-ist way you could. .... so I have adapted the idea and transferred it into a birding context ... ...have a gander at this ... what species do you think this truncated cutting is describing ? It's a rarity, for a start .... I've only ever seen 1. I suspect that that was pretty tough ... I'm not sure I would get it. Here's another rarity for you .... This 3rd and last one (for now) is a common bird ..... .. but can you find it ?
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Well.... in that last post I reminded you about that "ghostbirds" in-car ( or simply "in-street") game/challenge .. and now here's a whole collection of them for you to have a go at ... some will be easy, some tough, some impossible ..... it depends which van comes along next ..... but this first one is, er, incredibly easy ... but there will be quite a few possible answers to it..can you find them all ? Here's another 2-letter example ... I'm sure you can find several results .... OK ...we're on to the 3-letter ones now ... you might ... just might ...have to resort to those "foreign" birds .... and some might be total duffers . As for this next one, if only that M was the other way up it would be dead easy ... and if the whole van unfortunately turned over it would be NBW .... does that help at all ? .. and with this one, "Duck species"will not count. There is an American bird that immediately springs to mind though .... Now we're onto the 4-letter ones ... but you never know ... they might be do-able... if you get really stuck you could try venturing outside the UK list and go worldwide..... I think you've got a better chance with the www rather than the cbes .... even the couk thing might get you something ... Time for some beautiful music I think ... preferably something you can sing along with .... puntos suspensivos ................................................ I'm sure by now that all of you know the wonderful in-car bird-related entertainment that can be had with the game called "ghostbirds." ... here's a couple of links to my brilliant explanation of how it works .... 250-things-to-do-in-the-car-31-ghostsbirds.html 267-ghostbirds-extra.html right ... now you know. In that post I was using the last three letters of the number plate.... but you can get more entertainment with BIG LETTERS on vans and lorries. That one up there is a bit unusual ... there's four letters, WELL,which generally makes it a lot harder, but in fact it is dead easy ...... but just in case, I'll show you my answer after the music .... Here's my answer .... but maybe you've come up with a different one ... that's fine ..
. . . . . . . Yellow-legged Gull On the box this morning "they" were telling us that those " smart" motorways with ,er, NO HARD SHOULDERS were being rolled out further and further north. Oh goody ! Let's hope the gormless turds who thought that up will be the first to get squodged by a lorry when they get a flat tyre. And remarkably, "they" seem to have got in a bit of a tangle with that HS2 business.... I was incredibly surprised to hear that it was going to cost a bit more than they thought ... and then some "environmentalists" also suddenly noticed that "they" were chopping down lots of woods and destroying ancient sites .... who would have thought it ? And "they" knock houses down too ... it's good, as it gives people a chance to move somewhere else ... what an adventure ! Phew ! I hope they're not wasting taxpayer's money on all of that. Tell you what ... all those expensive airports and runways must cost a fortune to operate. I have come up with an excellent wheeze .. why not scrap them, and get all those planes to land on those smart motorways instead .... that way they could drop people off much closer to their homes, which is what people want. But here's an idea with a spot of synergy about it. You know all that plutonium that has done its bit of energy-generation ..... and is now lingering somewhere or other ..why not make binoculars and tripods and suchlike out of it. Think of the advantages ... it would be cheap ... they're desperate to get rid of it somehow or other ... and on those cold winter days they would keep your hands warm ..and save a fortune on expensive gloves. And whatever the weather, your bins would no longer steam up. It's also quite heavy, so you would be getting lots of exercise whilst using them, and they would be less likely to get stolen. Nor would you need to take a torch with you whilst looking for owls .... the positives just keep on coming. And they could do it with telescopes, and bird hides, and observation towers, and hey, come to think of it, why not make entire cars out of it. But seriously folks ... in the face of Management Ineptitude and even Downright Stupidity ... what do we do now ? Here's another thing I've found as a result of my " REMARKABLE RUBBISH-HEAP REORGANISATION" which is still under way. As you will see, it is a bit battered, and somebody seems to have taken a few slices out of it, but it's mine ..all mine ! But what is it, and where is it ? Answers... if they merit the term ..after the music ... this is the best Spanish band, only rivalled by Love of Lesbian ...... Si quiero encerrar el ruido en murallas de cartón me dejo atrapar prendido en bobinas sin color.
Si callo y otorgo, si dejo el silencio entrar, envío postales sin sellar. Si busco en los mapas que nos dieron al llegar me pierdo en la recta sin trazar. Cada error en cada intersección no es un paso atrás, es un paso más. Cada curva en cada borrador no es un paso atrás, es un paso más. Desvelo el final si borro mis cintas de cassette, si quiebro la lente que esculpe mi sombra en la pared. Si tiro la aguja al mar, si ahogo el altavoz conjuro el presente en el retrovisor. Cada error en cada intersección no es un paso atrás, es un paso más. Cada curva en cada borrador no es un paso atrás, es un paso más. Cada surco en cada borrón no es un paso atrás, es un paso más. Cada error en cada intersección no es un paso atrás, es un paso más. I made that map by cutting up an old and tattered map .... and I made it as bird- friendly as I could with the bits I had ... plenty of coastline, a nice extensive estuary, quite a few woods, dinky offshore islands ( where else would they be ?), little streams, a few dinky ponds, goodish roads, but also roadless open areas ..not bad. Over the years buried under heaps of crap, it has lost some of its bits. I feel much the same way myself. One odd thing about it ... I noticed that different OS maps have slightly differently-coloured seas. But why ? And as for you ... why not make your own little island hotspot ? You could even write a blog about it, and all the birds etc you've spotted there. In the i newspaper yesterday, Susie Dent, the well-known wordsmith, wrote about "new" words made of existing words .... a shining example being Probsolutely. Amongst many others, anticipointment struck me as being relevant to us birders. But could I, little me, think some up ... probsoluteley ! But don't get your hopes up ... you don't want a nasty feeling of anticipointment. So ..here we go ..... [a] Featherbletherer ... This is someone who bores you stupid by going on and on about the 3rd tertial from the top and its importance for telling species a from species b. [b] Jizzsplaining Rather similar, but explaining how you can tell x from y by the way it runs through the heather isn't exactly gripping is it ? Or the exact angle at which it holds its head when examining a worm. [c] Overscoping I know people who take their scope everywhere .... even when going shopping or on a trip to the pictures.Seriously. Now taking binoculars wherever you go is one thing ... and sort-of-normal. But not scopes. [d] Bellyscoping There are some odd people who prefer to lie on the ground when using their telescope. OK, scope-and-tripod can be a hefty burden, but come on ! There's also those who are so fat they can prop their scope on their enormous stomach. [e] Rewarblering I have heard conversations at rarity sites where people have openly admitted that they've given up on all those identical bloody warblers. There should be a special " Rewarblering Course" to get them back on the right track. [f] Uplisting There are some people, naming no names, who "augment" their lists in rather dubious ways. They "year-tick" Jack Snipes even though they haven't actually encountered one because they "know" they are there but they are too "nice" to disturb them. Others will turn a Chiffchaff into almost anything to "get" a spurious tick. Then there's the "sub- species/splitting -and-ticking" fraternity, and even, amazingly, the " I got stuck on the M1 but would have got it otherwise" brigade. There's even people who turn up at a Stone-Curlew site and tick a lump of cow-shit and bog off home. Plus ... outright fantasists and utter cheats. Just saying. [g] Magpiety You get these "worthy" types who spend their whole lives studying common species like magpies. Then they have a go at us lot who sometimes go for a rare bird , and tell us about their " worthy" and "important" work. Bah ! Humbug ! ( Or is it "Bumhug" ?) [h] Pishwacking So, you try to get to see a lurking bird by pishing. But after a while. you get fed up, find a stick and give the bush a good wacking. Come on ...we've all done it. [i] Bypasserines Some birders only like the big stuff ... Eagles, Cranes .. that sort of thing. Anything smaller, they just walk on by. I hope you liked at least some of those ..and I hope that some of you lot out there will think up some of your own and tell me about them. A comment would true the dick, or alternatively, email at [email protected] Despite the continual rain and wind, a few additions to the local year-list have been, er, added. Namely ... 20 + Ringed Plovers, 2 GBB gulls .. they've been surprisingly tough to find , a measly single Fieldfare ... like last New Year, they disappeared having been common as muck up to 31st Dec ... but obviously that one had missed the bus. But the best thing was yesterday's male Blackcap in the garden .....there's been a bit of an influx in recent days judging by the local website. Whether this was the one ( or maybe two) from a month ago or so ago, I couldn't say ...but it was in great condition. I only wish I was. It's hard work being old. And now, what can I see out of the attic window ? Rain. Meteorologists call it .............................. And they call drizzle ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, So ...assuming conditions will allow ... what will I get today .... ? Wet stuff like Water Rail, Aquatic Warbler. Dipper ... ? All in Wetmore order I hope. But enough of this silliness... it is music time ... with a singalong video ....... Late news ... that male Blackcap showed a lot today ... but all my snaps of it were crap.
I'm sure you'll be wanting to find more " wet/soggy" bird names. Two gripping posts ago I gave you a key to a bunch of ladybirds ... and you, I hope, used it to identify them. But this time ...... .....here's some Cryptic Creepy-Crawlies. You can pretend that you discovered these in a remote forest ... and so you,,, yes, you ..can give them all names. Spargula hartigusta would be a good example. Or Spex spex. Or maybe The King of Bryher's Lichenlicker. Or Eric the Cake. The world is your oyster. And then you can make a key so that other non-adventurous sadcakes can identify them. And remember .... you've got to look at those critters closely ... but not too closely, else you'll bang your head on the table ...... From 3pm on the 12th to 8pm yesterday it rained non-stop ...OK, a slight lull (early morning) .. to such an extent that I hardly ventured out of the front door. And as I wrote this in my tiny writing-attic, it was STILL chucking it down. Not only that .. The Significant Otter cleared off in the car. So the last two days were a bit of a washout. So ... things to do on a wet day. Well it's early in the year, so I had a go at extending my Year-Garden-List . And after a fairly fruitless bit of kitchen- window-goggling, I decided to extend my range by coming up here into said attic where I can get a much further view. I added LBB Gull to the 2020 house list. Corks ! And a non-countable Muscovy Duck floated by on a just-visible bit of water. There's only 4 of them left out of the initial 18, allegedly dumped out of a passing van about 18 months ago. Then I decided to get started with finding out an answer to a question I put to you lot a few posts ago ... how many "Royal" birds are there ... birds with " royal" in their names. I've found a few, but I'm still hunting them down. Gripping stuff. Another long-term project was my next thing .... what with all the "attic-re-organising" I've been doing, I've found mountains of old bird magazines going way back to Norman times ... and I've got started with my " prices of binoculars and telescopes over the years" graph. Then I can work out how much it is going to cost me when my grandson, currently aged 1-and-a-week wants either of those items as a present. A graph might be involved .... even a formula !! But I'm still working on that one ... and then there's a spot of extrapolation to do ( ouch), and on top of that there's the strong possibility I'll be dead and gone by that time. A lucky escape I reckon. Then the Significant Otter returned just as it was getting dark, so we drove up to Poldark, a huge rambling maze of a junk shop ,so big and rambling and a-maze-ing that people often get locked in having been unable to retrace their steps within the time limit when the bell goes ... and she went to look for a small table .. and I went looking for birds. Yes, birds. The first time I tried it, years ago, it all got ridiculous ... there's zillions of pottery birds, birds on vases, jars, paintings, embroideries ... then there's loads of bird books all over the place, mostly duff, many of them whimsical crap, and stuffed birds .. I bet, in the whole place, there's uncountable trillions of ancient opera-glasses, brass jellyscopes, ancient pre-historic binoculars ... but I still can't resist having a look ... especially seeing as a good 40% of the birds depicted are unknown to science ! And then we drove through the torrential rain back home ..adref .... basking in the satisfaction of having filled all the day and all of the night with , er, useful pursuits..... It has just occurred to me that there's quite a few Kinks song titles that are fairly relevant to " The Birding Experience" .... oh yes !
Well ...not quite all ........................but first, admire my lovely drawings .... You've got these terrific drawings of various beetles ...... and you want to find out their names. Of course you do .... so why not use the " Dichotomous Key" kindly written by me .... all you have to do is go through them one by one, answering the questions. And here are said questions ..... Well, I hope you found that suitably simple. Keys like that, but often a bloody sight longer, are use to put names to all sorts of organisms ... but you could use them for cars, or aeroplanes, or Nottinghamshire villages, or the cats in your street, or even the people in your street ... that would be fun ! [A] Male go to B Not male. go to D [B] Wears shorts in all weathers Mr. Shitface at No. 14 No shorts ....... go to C [C] Incredibly hairy nose go to W Nose clear or slightly hairy go to G [D] Has huge ears Mrs Tarporley from No. 6 Ears normal Rosemary Gannet from the Post Office ............ and so it goes on until everyone in the street has been identified ..an invaluable document for newcomers. I thought I'd better not show you all of it .. it gets a bit insulting. BUT ... they never seem to use them for birds. I wonder why. I hope you were impressed by its relentless efficiency I know I was . |
AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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