You wouldn't think that birding would be particularly dangerous ... but of course it is. That building up there is right on the edge of a whopping great cliff for a start ... But today's bit of "dangerous birding" took place in the sleepy village of Llanddulas on the North Wales coast near Abergele. "We" went there to try to tick Surf Scoter many winters back in the mists of time. So it was midwinter 16.2.89 actually according to what I like to call my "records".... not exactly the French Riviera down at sunny Llanddulas-by-the-sea. It was bloody freezing. I forget quite why, but we got out of the car and marched seawards in the biting wind and sheltered behind a rock or something similar and set up our scopes ... if you can call what I had at the time a scope. And then we started seawatching. That's pretty much what it was ... watching the sea and very little else. For what seemed like an eternity we scanned the waves, seeing almost nowt...and so it went on ...an hour went past... that's a "Llanddulas- February" hour which is more like a week. But...yes... eventually we found two of the little beggars, about 70 miles out to sea in old money, but there they were. Job done. So ...we set off back. My birding companion, being considerably younger that me, got to his feet and started, albeit rather slowly, to stagger back. But me ... I was so cold and stiff from being cramped up in that terrible wind that I actually couldn't stand up ... in fact I could hardly move. As a last resort, and in view of the rising tide etc, I actually crawled the 200 yards or so back to the car .... dragging the so-called scope along and making what can only be described as minimal progress per minute. I couldn't feel my hands or feet at all . It must have looked fantastic to any spectators ... watching this nit crawling over the stones and rocks ... I did mention that Llandulas beach was not exactly Riviera-esque didn't I .... yes .... then crawling into the car like a giant, superannuated cockroach. We laughed about it on the way back .But not much. I really thought I'd had my chips in the middle of that crawl back. I wouldn't have minded either. At least I would have got carried back ..... albeit in a black bag. ................. serious bit coming up ............................. So .... beware of getting surreptitiously frozen to death. Don't forget how hypothermia can creep up on you. In fact, one terrible and dangerous thing about hypothermia is your reaction to it .... which makes you do the wrong things .... after the initial stages you start to feel euphoric and you will often feel the urge to go out into the snow and take off your clothes and dance about ! At that stage of hypothermia you tend to do the exact opposite of what you ought to do. Then you will dance around in the ice and snow .... and then you will die. But at least you will die happy. One of the Golden Rules if you're venturing into the serious cold is ...have someone with you.... because then , if you do get into this take-your-clothes-off -and-make-things-even-worse state you have a chance....there's someone there to stop you. But this potential "rescuer" needs to know how to spot it and what to do. My mate Brixton got lucky ... he got hypothermia while he was on his final Mountain Leader Assessment so he had his assessor with him. Whether he passed or not I don't know, but at least he survived. A memorable mnemonic is " Mumbling.... stumbling .... bumbling" They're often the first signs of incipient hypothermia. ..................................... serious bit over .............................. And now, thematically, we'll have for the Music Section Neil Young's wonderful song " Ambulance Blues" ...as I often seem to say, there's loads of versions of this out there..... " an ambulance can only go so fast " Back in the old folky days
The air was magic when we played. The riverboat was rockin' in the rain Midnight was the time for the raid. Oh, Isabela, proud Isabela, They tore you down and plowed you under. You're only real with your make-up on How could I see you and stay too long? All along the Navajo Trail, Burn-outs stub their toes on garbage pails. Waitresses are cryin' in the rain Will their boyfriends pass this way again? Oh, Mother Goose, she's on the skids Shoe ain't happy, neither are the kids. She needs someone that she can scream at And I'm such a heel for makin' her feel so bad. I guess I'll call it sickness gone It's hard to say the meaning of this song. An ambulance can only go so fast It's easy to get buried in the past When you try to make a good thing last. I saw today in the entertainment section There's room at the top for private detection. To Mom and Dad this just doesn't matter, But it's either that or pay off the kidnapper. So all you critics sit alone You're no better than me for what you've shown. With your stomach pump and your hook and ladder dreams We could get together for some scenes. I never knew a man could tell so many lies He had a different story for every set of eyes. How can he remember who he's talkin' to? 'Cause I know it ain't me, and I hope it isn't you. Well, I'm up in T.O. keepin' jive alive, And out on the corner it's half past five. But the subways are empty And so are the cafes. Except for the Farmer's Market And I still can hear him say: You're all just pissin' in the wind You don't know it but you are. And there ain't nothin' like a friend Who can tell you you're just pissin' in the wind. I never knew a man could tell so many lies He had a different story for every set of eyes How can he remember who he's talking to? Cause I know it ain't me, and hope it isn't you.
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AuthorThat's the author up there ... I was young and sprightly then. Archives
October 2022
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